When Roses are a Luxury
by BellatrixTonks67
Summary: My name is December Snow, the President's daughter. I loved a boy who died in the Hunger Games. I swore I would never love again, and isn't it a lack of love that pushes us all to do our worst deeds?
1. The Truth

**Hey everyone! This is my first hunger games fan fic and I'm really excited! Now, according to the books Snow had a granddaughter at the time of the war but I've changed that into a "normal" family; aka wife and kids. That should be the only direct challenge to the text, everything else just expands on the unknown :D**

**Enjoy and R&R!**

**Chapter 1: The Truth**

Remember what Katniss told you to do. Breathe. Think what you know.

_My name is December Snow. I prefer just to be called Ember. I am eighteen years old. I live in the new district 12 next-door to Haymitch. I'm supposed to be keeping him sober, and he's supposed to be taking care of her and me. Neither of us can take care of ourselves, let alone the other. The war ended one year ago. I loved a boy from District 11 who died in the Hunger Games. They are no more Hunger Games. My father was president of the old order. He died from choking on his la..._

Laughter. I can barely say it in my own head, no chance at all of speaking it out loud.

_My father was president of the old order._ _He died from choking on his la..._ from screaming my name. I left my father to die. I killed my father.

I felt the pain begin once more in my head, a constant throbbing pounding my forehead. Quickly draining the water glass on the coffee table, I shut my eyes once more hoping to block the pain.

_My name is December Snow. People call me Ember. My father is... was..._

My hand swept the glass from the table onto the carpeted floor. Through the window I could see Peeta tending to the Primrose surrounding Katniss's house... Their house... Whatever one should call it.

_My name is December Snow. Real_

_There are no more Hunger Games. Real._

_I am in love with a dead boy. Real_

_My father killed him... Real._

_I killed my father... Real._

This was the easy way, to simply tell myself what I believe. Nothing about the slight chance my father didn't order Thresh's death, or the fact that Coin bombed that group of kids, and that my father couldn't control the Rebel crashing my sister's skull. Especially that he didn't love me, that's my favorite lie; the one where I meant nothing to him and more importantly he was nothing to me. Then, each reason they give for his almost execution at Katniss's hand makes sense, so does the fact I left him there in the end.

"Get up." The gruff voice surprised me, forcing me to leap from the window seat. "Aurelius will be here in less then an hour. I thought I could trust you enough to pull yourself together."

"I thought that was tomorrow!" Haymitch grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the stairs.

"Well, you were wrong. I don't care if you are more depressed more then ever, but today you are going to convince them all you aren't. I'm sick of these visits and all the people who tag along and the cameras. You are going to get rid of them."

"What about Katniss? They come to check on her being crazy, not just me."

"She is crazy, but that's why she was our Mockingjay, she does the insane. And Katniss wants them out too so she'll play the game thinking it's her own. And she's recovered since we got here, you haven't changed."

I could still see Peeta tending to the bushes through the front window. "She has him. You know she still gets her moments but he is always there holding her, isn't he? Who do I have?"

Haymitch was silent for a moment, watching me carefully. "I'm in no way the best for you, but you have me. And now I'm telling you to go change and fool them all."

"And exactly how do you purpose I do that?"

"By being the you everyone loves, the ones who used to be called rebels and the old Capitol people. The girl tragically torn between two worlds, each side seeing the one they want." Haymitch handed me a single red rose he had waiting on the kitchen counter. "Go cause a stir."

Out of habit more then will, I took the rose, tossing him a quick kiss with a smirk. The only sound I heard was his laughter as I headed back upstairs.

I couldn't tell what possessed me to pull the hidden door on my closet open; digging through the clothes I wore each day until last year, until the war.

My hand grasped a slippery top of silk gold along with a pair of shimmering black shorts. Quietly I pulled the clothes on, absentmindedly twisting my pale blond hair into an elaborate braid circling my head.

"I found these downstairs." Haymitch tossed me a pair of heels and a tube of lip paint.

I sighed as I caught them. "You need to be louder when you walk. I'm sick of you sneaking up on me." He remained silent as he shifted through a box of jewelry on the dresser, in search of one certain thing. I wasn't surprised when he pulled the small gem from its pouch, the ember glistening in the light from the window.

My fingers traced the corner of my eye, searching for the small indent that would reveal the spring. I pressed it lightly, catching the small ball of skin colored clay in my hand. Haymitch passed the small gem, a large smirk imprinted on his face. It felt natural as I popped it into place, the only thing that fit the hole perfectly. He directed me to the mirror, tucking the rose into my hair, the same way he did the morning of the Quarter Quell; the morning I tried to play the Games and lost.

"Do you think he is watching us, knowing how much I wish he was here right now?"

"Maybe, but I do know that Thresh knew how much you loved him going into the games. No matter where he is now, he still loves you." It was the first time Haymitch directly responded to my questions about him and I had to pinch my hand to stop from crying.

"Get used to it sweetie, the questions about him won't just disappear into thin air today. Panem wants answers from you more then anything. Caesar is coming with them and he loves talking to you just as much as Peeta."

"One day I'll tell them all the truth on camera, when they can't stop me. I'll tell everyone about Thresh. About my father, the way he loved my mother and she hated him. How he loved me more then anything in the world. I'll tell them that Thresh's death wasn't at Cato's hands, that my father arranged it all. Then I'd tell them my father didn't put Cory with those other kids that he ran in. And in the end, I killed him."

He kissed my cheek lightly, grasping my hand with the same ferocity he had since I could remember him in my life. "You do that little one. I'm sick of living their lies for you." I should have known that all along Haymitch knew the truth more then anyone. He also had believed me when the rest called me insane.

"Good afternoon Panem!" Caesar's voice was as booming as it had been each year in the capital. "We are airing this special program today because my crew and I have the special privilege to be in District 12 with not only our favorite star-crossed lovers, but with December Snow, the only surviving member of that once royal family."

It took more effort then I could manage to not sock him in the head as the cameras turned to me. He didn't have to remind me in that way that I had no one left.

"Did you miss me?" I almost gasped as the words slipped from my mouth, as if I still was the girl who became famous with that single phrase. I saw Haymitch stationed behind the cameraman, smiling wide.

"Of course, especially as the questions surrounding you are numerous lately. I think Panem wants nothing more then the simple truth from you."

I paused for a moment, darkness coming over my face no matter how I tried to keep it light for the cameras. "Then they can't want the real truth, that's anything but simple. There are parts I'm not even sure of myself."

Flickerman wasn't even slightly fazed, as if he had rehearsed all my answers with his. "Let's start with Thresh. At first we all believed you to just be betting that he was the one to survive. Then after the 74th games, we noticed a slight change in you as preparations for the Quarter quell began, in your enthusiasm. There were signs, but no one saw it until the rebel broadcasts during the war. Now, the passion you felt for each other sprung up quickly, only having a few days before he went into the arena to get to know each other. Would you call it love at first sight?"

The first secret they wanted, the secret of how much longer I knew him and all the nights spent under the stars in District 11. Haymitch simply nodded for me to go on.

"Sure." My voice sounded calmer then I felt. "Let's start with the night I met him." The night that everything changed, and then I hadn't even realized the truth he had told me.

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**I know this chapter was a little jumpy, sorry!**


	2. The Boy

**Thanks to everyone who favorited this story so far! Also, thanks goes to hazelnat13413 for the first review! This update is for you!**

**Chapter 2: The Boy**

The cold night air felt like magic against my skin after the train ride as I stood on the District 11 Justice Building balcony. I silently watched the people of the District make their way home for the night, glad Mitia had told the Mayor not to make a fuss at my arrival. They were used to the early group from the Capitol arriving for the Reaping, but not me.

The Districts were like a wonderland, people walking around slowly, watching each step instead of rushing towards the evening's next party. The night was quiet, few people passing through the town square. Those who noticed me on the balcony only looked up quickly and walked away again. They had no reason to suspect that I was more then the regular Capitol citizen.

"Miss. December, you need to come in now. I promised your father that I would keep you healthy and safe. Standing outside like that may break both of those things." Normally at home I wouldn't have listened, but part of me felt bad for the woman stuck in charge of me. She had enough of her own job to do that didn't include me normally.

We followed a pair of Peacekeepers to our respective rooms, each of the men watching me carefully. I didn't know if they were just intrigued or under special orders about my protection as well. Mitia simply nodded as she entered her own room two doors down from mine.

The moment I was sure the door had shut behind me I crossed over to the mirror, braiding my hair to hide the single red strand. I could see the light reflecting off the small ember gem on the corner of my left eye, cursing myself for leaving the cover up make up at home. As long as I stayed away from the light, I had a chance.

I slipped off the sundress I wore for the train ride, instead turning to a pair of dark jeans and a black sweater I had been careful to make sure was in my bag. No one knowing I was here gave me the perfect chance.

The door opened quietly, the peacekeepers at one end of the hall too busy in their conversation to notice me slipping the opposite way. For their sake, I sincerely hoped I wouldn't be caught.

I slipped from the building easily, dashing past dim street lamps and into the shadows, constantly keep my head down. Confident I was alone on the street, I allowed myself to look around. I could see the fields in the distance, the moonlight reflecting off of the crops. The further I walked from the Justice Building, the more run down and small the houses became.

The silence was a strange bliss, a sound never embraced in the Capitol. At home, the nights were filled with sounds from the ballroom or the street as people rushed to their parties. During the day, people were constantly coming and going to see my father and bringing their sons to see May and I. They rarely brought daughters, because what good would a daughter get them if we were both girls ourselves? It was calming to escape to the Districts, and have time for myself.

"I can show you back to the Justice building. You shouldn't be wandering around at night if you don't know the District." The voice startled me as I turned around to see the boy. He looked to be about my age, perhaps a year older and his skin was dark with his hair.

"I can find my own way back." I had meant to make him apologize for startling me, yet he just laughed and walked closer to me, forcing my head to look only at the ground.

"So you are a Capitol girl. I was sure just by the way you were walking around, but your accent proves it. So what are you doing out here this late? Shouldn't you be all warm and cozy in the Justice Building?" His voice was teasing. "What's your name?"

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." It was dark enough on the side street that I could barely tell his shoes from the air, so I raised my eyes to meet his, pulling some hair down to cover my left one.

"I wouldn't recognize it. I don't keep track of the Capitol." He snickered darkly, sitting down on a pail and motioning for me to sit down as well. I choose the one on his left, making sure he couldn't only see the right side of my face. "So, about your name… I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." I remained silent, debating walking away. "I'm Thresh. Now you have to tell me your name." He laughed lightly, turning to look directly at me.

"I never agreed to that deal, Thresh. But I'll tell you." I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and hoping my next word wouldn't backfire on me. "Ember."

It was barely out of my mouth before he laughed loudly. "Ember? Like the President's daughter? You probably even died your hair to match hers."

Anger boiled inside me, yet I tried to hold it down. At least he still didn't know _exactly _who I was. "And what if I did? She's the star of the Capitol, isn't she?"

"Yeah, and the Districts." That surprised me beyond anything. I knew the Capitol loved me, but because of all I had done with the Games. I was the Capitol's everlasting face to them, and until Cory was born possibly the next President. They cheered when I walked into a room, even louder if I was on my father's arm. Here, they should hate me, They hate everything else about my life.

"Why?" My voice was soft, simply curious.

Thresh looked at me. "I'm telling you this because you trusted me enough to tell me your name. People around here, and I think the other Districts, believe that Lady December is more then she appears, not the airhead child hanging on her father's arm that the Capitol loves so." I wanted to hit him, I was not an airhead, yet I remained motionless waiting for the rest. "They _trust_ her more then anyone in the Capitol for years. They want her to take power after her father, not her brother."

"Her brother is just a boy! How can you know what he will become?" This boy had hit a nerve, no one took a shot at my baby brother. No one.

"He's not a public boy, is he? His sister is everywhere, constantly smiling and shaking hands with the most powerful people in the Capitol. The boy is never seen." I dared not mention it was because he stayed in bed most of the day, and when he was healthy my father guarded him with his life. "He is not allowed to be a child, even Lady May holds him back whenever he wants to look like a child on the camera. Let's just say it was a lucky day in the Districts when December was born announced heir before the boy's birth."

I was shaking, and I didn't know if it was from the cold air or the word's the boy spoke. I had heard treasonous comments before, I grew up in the Game headquarters surrounded by Victors. Yet he was a boy telling me the things the others kept quiet.

"She's her father's favorite though, isn't she?"

"Yes. He loves her because our President can't see past his nose when it comes to his family. He thinks she's a friend with Victors, but would they like her if she was the same as him? Of course not. Whatever happens off camera in the Games headquarters must be the interesting stuff."

I was breathing quickly now, remembering the true conversations behind locked doors. Especially the ones with Haymitch, that no one should know about. "How do you know all of this?"

"So you don't deny it, Miss. Snow? I knew the moment I saw you sneaking through the District like this at night." I sat frozen on the pail for a moment, stunned he knew me all along. "Nice try covering up that gem with your hair. I knew it was you before I even saw the gem. You spend enough time around Victors that your accent isn't the same as the other's."

People had laughed about my accent before, especially Cory. He claimed I should just go become a tribute because of how much like a Victor I acted.

"Hey! What are you two doing out at this time?" I heard the Peacekeeper before I saw him running towards us. "You, boy! Didn't I catch you out here a few nights ago? I'm taking you in this time!"

Thresh froze, and then quickly looked like he was ready to run for it. Something about the Peacekeeper charging him that way didn't sit well with me.

"Sir!" I stepped forward into the light, brushing my hair away from my face. "This boy was giving me tour of the District. I asked for it to happen at night to avoid people seeing me in the morning."

The peacekeeper froze, staring at my face and trying to decide if it really was me. I stepped closer, turning my face so the light could make contact with my gem. "I apologize Miss. Snow. We were told that you were inside the Justice Building. I just assumed…"

"You are forgiven, now please return to your work. This boy will bring me back to the Justice Building." The peacekeeper nodded before disappearing down the street.

"Thank you." Thresh's voice was deep, but soft as if he truly meant it.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. That's something I don't get all the time."

He looked down at his feet as he started walking in the direction the Peacekeeper had come. "I'll show you back to the Justice building. It wouldn't be good if the same guy found you walking back by yourself."

"When we get there, I'll ask someone to escort you home. I don't want you getting in trouble again." He simply nodded, and I took a step forward, tripping over a can left in the street.

He caught me quickly, pulling me closer to him by my wrist until I was back on my feet. "Watch where you walk, people leave stuff in the street all the time." He let go of my wrist just as I tripped again. "Fine. I'm not letting go of your wrist because I refuse to be in trouble if I have to bring you back with your head cracked open." I laughed lightly, the cold air piercing through my sweater and hitting my skin. I started to shiver as we walked on. "You are a mess, you know that."

When he pulled me against him, I wasn't sure if it was because he honestly cared that I was freezing or didn't want to get in trouble for me getting a cold. In the end, I didn't care.

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	3. Cover Up

**Chapter 3: Cover Up**

The sharp knock on my door jolted me awake. "You have half an hour until breakfast. You better be awake!" Mitia's voice sound stressed through the door and I only grumbled as a response. She sighed, walking away heavily. I threw the covers back, instantly pulling them around me again as the room's cold air bit me. Without thought I desired to have Thresh holding me again.

His words still echoed in my mind, warmth flooding my hand where he held me, the weight of a strong arm around my shoulders. We talked nothing of politics anymore; I only listened to him describe daily life in the districts and the view from the treetops when he was younger.

Another knock pounded the door. "December Snow! You will not be late for breakfast!" She paused for a moment and I lay in silence. "I do not hear you moving!" I moaned again, purposely thudding my feet on the ground as I slipped from bed. "Thank you." Her voice returned to a sweet chirp. I should have gone to District 12 with Effie instead. At least I would have Haymitch around too. But then I wouldn't have met Thresh.

I walked over to the small duffle bag I had brought from my room on the train, pulling out a scarlet dress that perfectly matched the streak in my hair. I left the blond strands hanging onto my shoulders and applied a thin layer of lip paint. I threw my pajamas in the bag and slipped on a pair of heels as I walked out into the hall.

An older woman was leaning against the door across the hall smiling wide. "I should be rebuking you for your adventure last night, but instead I'll let Haymitch do it when you get to the Capitol.

"Seeder, did you have to tell?" I laughed lightly, my insides shaking. This was not going to be a pretty reunion when I arrived at the Training Center.

"Mitia heard about it from the Peacekeeper you ran into. She came to me asking what to do. Your lucky, she was debating sending note to your father." Seeder placed a hand on my shoulder, guiding me down the hall.

"She would have only gotten herself in trouble, not me." It was the truth, I never did anything wrong in his eyes. He only saw the ones that should have kept me from doing it in the first place.

"Exactly what I reminded her. She then went into some rant about teenagers not getting in trouble these days so I simply suggested she get one of the Victors to reprimand you. Haymitch exactly was her idea." I cursed under my breath, turning my face into a smile as we entered the dining room.

"Are you mentoring this year?" The last thing I needed was anyone else in the District learning about my… adventure.

"No. Chaff offered to take over fully this year, as he was too sick to help last year. I'm glad for a year when no one's life is in my hands." I simply nodded, taking a seat at the end of the table that a Peacekeeper pointed me too. Seeder sat next to me as a server asked what I wanted to eat. His voice sounded familiar, and I looked up to meet Thresh's eyes.

In the full light, he was simply gorgeous, giving Finnick Odair a run for his money. Thresh's eyes were a shimmering gold, his skin dark and wrapped tightly against his muscles. He seemed taller then I remembered, and much more broad shoulder.

"Thank you, for my tour last night." It was all I could think to say as we stared into each other's eyes.

Seeder laughed softly, pulling my gaze away from him. "Thresh was your tour guide? Now I see how you wiggled your way out of that one." She smiled, pouring juice into her cup from a pitcher in the center of the table. I looked around once, doubling checking that there were not any peacekeepers in the room.

"I rather enjoyed it, Miss. I'm not usually allowed out in the streets that late at night." He winked once, enough to send Seeder into another round of laughter. "Could

you please now tell me what you would like to eat?"

"I think I'll go over and have a look at the buffet myself." I pushed back my chair as Mitia slipped into the room and took her own seat. Thresh followed me to the opposite side of the room, picking up a plate to place food on as I pointed. He knew he needed some reason to be following me. I glanced over my shoulder, checking the Mitia was too engrossed in her coffee to notice anything. Seeder winked before trying to strike up conversation with the escort.

"Am I still allowed to speak plainly to you, now that I know you aren't just any simple girl from the Capitol?" His voice was a whisper, leaning over my shoulder to grab bread roll.

"I think the first word you used to describe me was airhead actually." He smiled, opening his mouth to defend himself but I continued to speak. "Yes, you may. Yet last night you were not shy to say what you thought of me and my family when you knew who I was."

"Then we were alone." I looked up to meet his eyes, yet he shifted his gaze to the buffet tray and slipped something else onto my plate.

"I haven't been paying attention to what I was choosing!" I looked at the plate, covering in foods I didn't know.

"Don't worry. I chose the best for you." He smiled, spreading a layer of jam onto the bread roll.

"December! How long does it take to chose your breakfast?" I stuck out my tongue as I faced the wall before turning around to face Mitia.

"This boy here had been explaining all the regular foods of the District to me. I told father I wanted to come to immerse myself in the District culture, and how would I be doing that if I ate like I did at home?" I flashed her a smile and Thresh gestured toward a large plate of fruit across the room.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like any fruit, Miss? I know you get it in the Capitol, yet here it is all freshly picked." I nodded, following him as Mitia rolled her eyes and focused back on her own breakfast. "You think on your feet pretty quickly. Not many girls around here can do that." He spoke as if he was in a distant world, not beside me.

"You're not so bad yourself. It's a trait you learn quickly in the Capitol to stay out of trouble and in everyone's hearts. It's not easy being the person you seem to know I am." Thresh laughed loudly, again attracting attention from the table. Again, he covered this mistake. "Of course, Miss. That is an apple. The color is so vibrant because of how fresh it is."

He waited for a moment before speaking again in a whisper. "Are you free until the reaping? It's not until two here, you have a good amount of the day."

"I have to meet with the Head Peacekeeper, but I can cancel it and call him once on the train. What do you have in mind?"

"Let's just say for now that we didn't finish your tour last night. The rest can be a surprise." I smiled, walking back towards the table knowing that speaking any longer would be pushing our luck.

"Mitia, this boy just informed me that there is a good part of the District we did not see last night during my tour." I swore anger flashed in her eyes as I referenced the very thing that could have gotten her fired, or more then fired. "I attend to finish it after breakfast. "

"Miss, you are scheduled to meet with the District's head peacekeeper and then the Mayor requested that you dine with him for lunch…"

"That's all politics, Mitia, and not technically my job. Tell the Head Peacekeeper I shall give him a call in the morning to discuss what he wished to speak about and let the Mayor know that if he wished to dine with me he should have done so this morning." Seeder silently swished the liquid in her cup, desperately trying not to burst into laughter. Mother was right; dad should have sent me with my usual assistant at home. I truly was too much for a simple District escort to manage.

"All right, your impossible once your mind is made. I don't fancy you walking around the streets freely though. You'll have to take an escort of peacekeepers with you." I scowled, trying to think of an excuse.

"If you do not mind me interrupting, my older sister thought that through this morning and loaned me one of her field hats and a jacket for Lady December. She'll barely be recognizable." I simply smiled in triumph, tasting the sweet jam and bread roll.

Mitia shrugged her shoulders lightly, dismissing all responsibility for me. I shoved the rest of the bread into my mouth and quickly followed Thresh from the dining room. "So, what do you really have planned for the day?" We walked down a small hall, towards a back door.

"Well, my grandmother decided to make you breakfast, and then I thought we would go out into one of the fields where we could be alone for a while." He grabbed a coat and large straw hat off of a peg in the wall, pulling the hat down tight onto my head.

"I can barely see anything!" I laughed as I held out my arms while he slipped on the coat, buttoning it up enough to cover my dress underneath.

"Then, no one will be able to see you." Thresh tilted my head back, tucking the red strand of hair under the hat. "My sister thinks I'm taking a big risk, but she wasn't shy in saying she wanted to meet you."

"What exactly did you tell them, then? I was just out walking past curfew last night and came across the Presidents daughter wandering the streets of the District?"

"What else was I supposed to tell them? They were worried when a Peacekeeper brought me home, so I told them the same lie you've been using, that I was giving you a tour." I rolled my eyes, but I doubted the gesture was any use under the hat. "Anyways, Grams decided you need some real District 11 cooking and Trina… let's just say she's an opinionated person and we can head out to the fields the moment you want to."

"You don't sound excited about taking me to see your family." I smiled lightly, inside filling with my own doubt. I shouldn't be wandering the District, let alone slipping into a family's home when no one knew where I was.

"It will be alright, they aren't so bad." He laughed as he opened the door,

**Ok- school week starts tomorrow so updates probs won't be so frequent but I'm just having a ton of fun with this so we shall see :D**

**Please please please review! **


	4. Find Yourself

**Chapter 4: Find Yourself**

"This is home." We stopped in front of a tiny house, the front only having about four windows and a door. It was simple, just one story, yet even with the mustard yellow paint peeling away, someone had tried to make it beautiful with richly colored flowers in the window boxes. But, I didn't know what to say. "Don't say anything." Thresh smiled at me. "It's no palace, but it's home all the same." I smiled back as we walked forward again.

Thresh opened the front door of his home with his left hand, the one that wasn't clasping mine. He closed it softly behind us, pulling the straw hat off my head and hanging it on the wall. I slipped off the coat and straightened my dress and Thresh tucked some hairs behind my ear. "Are you sure you want to be here?" I nodded, not really sure myself. "Grams! We are back!"

Suddenly, I heard a shuffling of pots from around the corner and two pairs of feet coming towards us. An old woman appeared first, with gray hair but the same look of ferocity and strength in her eyes as Thresh. His older sister was the same, probably about nineteen or twenty and heavy with muscle. I felt puny and weak simply watching her, like the Career tributes. Trina just watched me, her eyes tracing my body before locking on my hand still clutched in Thresh's. I hadn't even realized he grabbed it again after taking off the coat.

"Welcome, Miss. Snow. We are so honored to have you in our house and…" She reached out her hand and I gave her my right so as not to have to let go of Thresh.

"Nip it, Grams. She wanted to come, and you're going to make her want to leave." He laughed lightly pushing the two women back around the corner. "Now, I didn't get to eat at the Justice building so I, for one, am hungry."

He pulled me by the hand, and I almost gasped as I glimpsed the table. It was a small circle, yet covered completely with steaming dishes and colorful fruits. "I like having our reaping day feast in the morning. That way I can make sure each of my grandchildren gets some of it." _In case they are the ones who don't come home tonight. _I could hear the words plainly, though no one spoke them.

For the first time, I looked at Thresh like he might be the next boy I watched die. I glanced at the bread on the table, seeing not the usual District 11 loaves, but instead hard tressarae grain. How many had he taken?

"Grams, you've made her face go pale!" I snapped form my trance, noticing the whole family staring at me and I mumbled apologies.

"Don't worry about it. It's nice to know some in the Capitol would get pale at the idea. The reaping is a risk for all of us, and there is no shame in understanding that." Thresh and his grandmother stood silently, gaping at the girl for her freedom of speech in my presence. I could only smile lightly. "Have a seat, Miss. Snow."

"Please, just call me December."

Trina snickered gleefully, settling herself into a chair beside mine. "I think you and I might get along after all."

"I knew we should have just packed a basket for food." He sighed, taking his own seat on my right. "You probably aren't even hungry, after breakfast at the Justice building." His eyes were almost pleading for me to agree.

"No. As I recall, you pulled me away once I was given permission to leave." Thresh rolled his eyes, filling his own plate as his grandmother piled food onto mine, naming each of the dishes so quickly I would never remember them.

"So, what does that star of the capitol like to do in her spare time? You must have a ton of it of course, with no need to work." Trina didn't even look at me as she spoke.

"I play music, on the fiddle. I would love to learn piano, but with all the dinners my father drags me too and trips to visit the Districts I rarely have the time." I gave her a quick smile, before biting into an apple.

"My grandfather used to play the fiddle. He was pretty horrible actually, but he loved it all the same." I could barely say anything before there was a loud knock at the front door.

"Trina!" A deep voice sounded from the hall, and Thresh pushed his sister from the kitchen.

"Keep him out of here!" He turned back to me, motioning to stay quiet as voices sounded from the hall.

"You know I always have breakfast with the family on Reaping day."

"We are eighteen this year, I needed to make sure you still agreed to your promise."

Trina laughed once, pushing the boy to the opposite side of the house. "I told you last night, that if neither of us are reaped we can get married tonight." At that point, Thresh's grandmother practically sprinted from the kitchen.

"I think it's time we go." He grabbed a sack from the ground, shoving some fruit and bread into it. "Things are about to get ugly around here." He disappeared around the corner and returning with the hat and the coat. I opened my mouth to speak; yet he quickly lay a finger across it. In annoyance, I rolled my eyes and pulled on the clothes.

We slipped silently through the front door, walking away from the other homes and towards the endless expanse of fields surrounding the District. Thresh was the first to speak again.

"I'm sorry I rushed you out of there. Grams and Trina will kill me, especially Trina because she liked you." I laughed at that, remembering her curt comments. "She's pretty silent around anyone she doesn't like. If she talks to you it means she likes you enough to listen."

"Who was the boy that came?" I looked at him curiously, as he took my hand again and I noticed that the sack was larger since he left the kitchen.

"Trina's boyfriend. They've wanted to marry since they were fourteen but dad made Trina promise she would wait until she was twenty. When he died, she vowed to marry him the second they both got through the games alive. Today's there last reaping and Grams has been trying to stop her for months but she won't listen. Grams believes she is dishonoring dad's memory and…. I shouldn't be boring you with all of this." He pulled me in closer, as I thought in silence, and tucked hair back behind my ear. This finally proved what I suspected, that his parents had died and he was alone with the two women.

"They died during a round of fevers that effected the whole District when I was 14, two years ago. We lost my Grandfather then too, most of the families around us buried loved ones." I nodded, slight tears forming in my eyes as I thought of Thresh and all the others almost alone now.

"I'm sorry." They were all the words I could muster; I never knew how to comfort someone.

"Don't be. You could do a lot for the Districts, maybe not now but in the future. No matter what power you get though, you can't stop a spreading fever." He was pulling me in under his arm again. It wasn't the moment to mention modern medicine. We sat on a small hill overlooking a large orchard.

"It's beautiful." The sky was bright blue, clouds drifting along carelessly. In the soft wind, the leaves of the orchard trees swayed creating a silent calm.

"You should come out here at sunset. Everything is still and one can find themselves easily." He was staring out at the horizon, the softest expression upon his face.

"Is that why you are caught out late so often? You come out here?" He nodded, not saying anything else and he dug through the sack for an apple. "What else did you put in there? We didn't need a full sack of apples!" I didn't bother to say there wasn't even that much food at the breakfast table.

He pulled out the bundle of cloth slowly, making sure it didn't bang anything else. After removing the bundle, he followed it with a long bow that I recognized instantly. "You brought a fiddle?"

"When you said you played, and then I saw it as I was grabbing things, I had a sudden desire to hear you play. Grandpa loved this thing, but no one has touched it since he died. It's probably horribly out of tune…" Thresh just stared at the fiddle wistfully, begging me to play it for him. I wasn't a performer, my music was for myself, but he looked so desperate.

I touched it softly, feeling the weak wood and thin strings. It wasn't anything nice, but I could feel the love placed upon it when the owner played. He handed me the bow, and I tuned it quickly, suddenly wanting nothing more then to play the instrument. My hands moved on their own accord and Thresh closed his eyes to listen to the music.

"I wonder what he would say about this?" That forced me to stop, but I remained silent as I waited for him to continue. "My grandfather was the first I knew to say you were different. He told me every time the cameras turned on you exactly what I said last night. He would probably love this right now."

"You were close to him, weren't you?" Thresh nodded, again looking out towards the fields. I imagined mornings like this one, where he sat out here with his grandfather to learn everything he had. I hadn't even noticed his eyes focus back on me.

"That gem really is beautiful, especially the way the light hits it at moments. We should get going, the reaping is in forty five minutes and I need to stop at home to change after I get you back." Already, I was used to his sudden changes in thought and the way he avoiding certain topics.

Thresh wrapped the fiddle back up carefully, slipping it into the sack once more. He stood, and then offered me his hand. I grabbed it, yet he pulled me up before I was ready and when he let go, I was falling forward.

When he caught me, our faces were inches apart and then his lips were on mine. Neither of us pulled away, enjoying the embrace. It was my first kiss, the one out in a District 11 field. He was gentle, a hand caressing my face. Then the contact was gone.

"I shouldn't have done that." Without another glance, he slung the sack over his shoulder and raced off. I didn't know what to do but run after him.

"Thresh!" Thoughts raced through me, all different versions of the desire I had to make him stop running. "Thresh! I'm not mad!"

Then he stopped, still yards ahead of me and turned around. "Why not? You should be. I'm nothing to you, just a District Boy who forced you to kiss me. I'm below you in everyway." He dropped the sack, no more caring about the fiddle, as he swept a low bow.

"Stop it!" I was running forward again, and he remained still. "You are not below me, Thresh. You are worth something." I didn't know what he was worth exactly, but it was something. Then I noticed how far we had run, as people swept passed on our their way to the steps of the Justice Building. I could see the roof of it around the corner.

He turned around slowly, walking a few steps in front of me before pulling me into a doorway. "Are you being honest? Do you truly not care?" I nodded, the ferocity in his voice frightening. "Will I ever see you again? I need to see you again."

"There's always a camera on me, isn't there? You've seen me before." I cracked a slight smile, glancing at the clock on the building opposite of us. Fifteen minutes until the reaping.

"No, that's not all of you. I need to know I can see this part of you, touch your hand again." I could sense the desperation in his voice and realized on the inside I matched it.

"The victory tour. I usually stay come but stay on the train. I'll get off and I you will find me. You seem to be good at that." He stepped out of the doorway, taking my hand and kissing it once.

"Then, let the 73rd Hunger Games begin." He had no emotion in his voice as he dropped my hand to walk away before a smile crept on to his face. "And let them go quickly to the Victory Tour."

I could only nod as he walked away, before dashing into the Justice Building.

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	5. Family

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**Chapter 5: Family**

"Tell me, my little rose, how is it that you are always the first one to join me in the morning?" My father looked up calmly as I entered the room, smiling when his eyes locked on mine. "I waited for half an hour all alone yesterday while you were in 11."

I smiled simply, slipping an apple from the buffet table as I sat down. "Papa, my rose is missing." Playfully, I crossed my arms and faked disappointment as I looked at the unscented white roses on rest of the family's plates, my father had already tucked his own into the breast pocket of his jacket.

"What a silly mistake on my part. I must have gotten so used to you being gone that I did not pick you one this morning." I rolled my eyes, biting into the apple and quickly missing the freshness of District 11. He watched me carefully, waiting for my response in his little game.

"Very well, Papa. Then you won't miss me when I go to the training center today." He stood swiftly, pulling the red rose out from inside his jacket and tucking it into my ponytail holder.

"I was hoping you would join me in the Office today. Some of the Game makers will be coming in and they always appreciate your input." His attention was again focused on his newspaper, the time for games over.

"Never this close to the actual Games. They don't trust me to keep secrets from all the mentors." I took another bite of the apple, sloppily wiping the juice off of my chin.

"You'll change your mind in a while." He gave a slight snicker before the door opened and my mother entered.

"Morning husband." As in every moment he walked towards her, kissing her cheek lightly and patting May on the shoulder.

"Morning father." My twin remained silent as she sat down beside me, before leaning in closer and whispering in my ear. "He's not coming this morning. He could barely wake up." I nodded, gesturing for the Avox in the corner to remove my brother's plate before Mother had time to notice.

I should have done it the moment I walked in, knowing May had spent all night in his room. Only the guilt that I hadn't been there giving me hope that he would come to join us after all.

"December, we've talked time and time again about not eating before the rest of the family is here. When you finish first, you frustrate the rest of us with that annoying tapping you do when you are impatient."

"I'm sorry, mother, but I was hoping to get over to the training center early before…"

"Not today. I need you to go with May to finish fittings for the end of the Games banquet." Her voice was stern and as the Avox poured her juice, the girl was shaking from fright.

"We have all the time during the Games to do that. The tributes only are in the center for a few days!"

"That is what you said last year, and then I could never get you away from the screens once they began. You are going today and then afterwards if there is time before you need to change for tonight you can go over."

In the moment my mother looked down at her point, my father sent me one of his 'I told you so' glances. "I can't go today. Papa needs me to help down in his office while the Game makers are here."

Together, both May and my mother realized their frustration in a single sigh. No doubt they had spent the walk down discussing how to make me go. "First, it was the training center and now father's office?" I rolled my eyes when she opened her mouth, the way I did every time I heard my twin's voice.

"Coriolanus, tell her she can't come with you today." Mother cut up her breakfast ham slowly, eyeing my father as he pretended to read his newspaper.

"I already offered, Maribelle. It's too late to take back that offer. I'm a fair man." That got the entire table to look at him with raised eyebrows. My father was a lot of things, both light and dark but not close to fair. "At least when my family is concerned then. Anyways, Crane has always liked December and it calms him when she is around. I can't deal with that man any other time." He finally folded up the paper, and turned his attention to breakfast.

My mother fell into an annoyed silence and May simply stared me down with anger. "Ember, come on. It will only take the morning and then we won't have a repeat of last year."

I remembered the banquet with a light smile, laughing to myself at my mother's face when May and I showed up in extremely different gowns. She liked to remind people we were twins at certain events, because most days you could barely tell.

My sister had a small frame, was considerably shorter and gifted with my mother's large emerald eyes. Instead, I was broad boned, tall for my age and gender and had the clearest gray eyes anyone could possess. My hair was darker, and always tied back flashing a bright red strand. May's hung on her shoulders naturally, the lightest blond in the world. Sure, we looked like sisters, but far from twins.

"Just ask Margarita what she has planned for me and do whatever you want with that. She likes it better if I'm not around for the design process because I'm too indecisive." I didn't mention that any input I did give never helped create a final project that gave me the reputation I have for fashion. That had been Margarita's work since I could walk.

"Fine. Go with your father. You just ruin the mood anyways when you go to the design studio anyways." I flashed my mother a smile, finishing my piece of toast and rising from the table.

"I expect you down in my office by ten!" I barely heard my father as I raced from the dining room. He knew I wouldn't show up. I passed an Avox in the hall, asking him to send up a breakfast for Cory. I knew he wouldn't eat it, but I tried to tell myself it was the thought that count. He'll at least remember about Opening Ceremonies and maybe get well enough to join me on the center stage tonight.

I don't bother to mask my appearance as I dash out the palace doors and walk down the street. No one here would want to harm me, or have the courage to. The walk is short and I slip into the Center quickly. The woman at the front desk, Margarita's sister, comes up before I'm through the doors, listing off requests the Victors have already made.

"And Haymitch said that you," She opened her small notebook, reading the quote exactly. "Better get up here with a smile and explain some things before even thinking about slipping past me." Daisy smiled lightly, pressing the elevator button for me to take me right to 12. "Sorry, miss. He was extremely adamant." I laughed along side her as the doors slid shut before taking in a deep sigh. The doors barely opened again on floor 12 as he yanked me away and down the hall.

"Haymitch!" I hadn't meant to actually scream, but it was enough to make him let go of me in case anyone was watching.

"I had a long chat last night with some escorts, especially Mitia." In that sentence, as he shut the door behind us, part of me knew I was doomed.

"She wasn't going to tell you, actually. But Seeder convinced her to." I crossed my arms, eyeing him coldly as he sat down in one of the plush chairs, pouring himself a drink.

"So, you already have given up faith in your tributes this year. Usually you at least give them until after the Opening Ceremonies before getting too drunk."

"Well, they already upset Effie with their table manners and I doubt either of them could lift a branch. I'll sober up once they are in." He didn't need to say it wouldn't be for long. District Twelve was usually gone on day one. He would be back in his alcohol then. "Alright, little one. Time to tell me the truth. Who did you meet and what were you thinking?"

I sat down the moment I realized exactly how much he knew. Haymitch liked to do his research. "Just a boy who offered to show me around, and I was thinking it would be good to get a sense of life in the Districts."

"Give me one reason I shouldn't fabricate some plot against you that would keep your father from allowing you on the Victory Tour."

"Because you aren't responsible for me, so it doesn't matter what I do." I couldn't even smile before he replied.

"And no one acts like they are, and someone has to so it comes down to me." I shrugged my shoulder at the argument he had used ever since I was six and starting pressing buttons in the Mentor room that resulted in multiple tributes getting parachutes meant for someone else.

It always made me quiet, because he was right. At home, anything I did went to my father and my father simply blamed someone else. He wasn't responsible for anything I did, and more so I wasn't either.

"Now, Mitia agreed not to talk about your little adventure anymore so this can stay between us. But if you do something else stupid I will get back at you." I wanted to say he still hadn't gotten back at me for sending the medicine his one promising tribute in a decade needed to District three. I was careful not to remind him. "Finnick's here this year. Go bother him instead."

I knew I hadn't truly heard the end of it from him, the real anger would come tonight when he was finally drunk on the 'good, strong Capitol liquor' as he liked to call it.

It didn't take long to get out of there and head to District 4's area.

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	6. Did You Miss Me?

**Chapter 6: Did You Miss Me?**

I smiled playfully at Margarita as she stood in front of my bedroom door. "Forty-five minutes late. Get on in here, we have work to do." She said nothing more as she opened the door and I followed her in. "At least send me a message when you are running late so I can bring the prep team! I honestly thought today you would be on time and we could manage."

"I'm sorry. I really am. It's just that the first day is the only one when mentors aren't running around after their tributes and we can actually visit with each other." She nodded, pushing me towards the vanity table.

"Honestly, I didn't design such a large array of relaxed everyday clothes for you so that you could wear the same set once a week!" Margarita laughed as I looked down at the simple jacket and jean shorts.

"Am I honestly supposed to wear sequined tops and colored mini shorts to the Training Center?" She only laughed as she pulled make-up from the drawers.

"Ember?" My little brother's voice was so quiet I wouldn't have heard him if the mirror didn't show his head sticking around the slightly open door.

"Come on in baby brother. You aren't interrupting anything important." Margarita said nothing, only silently working as my brother slipped further in and shut the door behind him.

"Aren't you getting yourself pretty for the Opening Ceremonies tonight?" He sat on the stool I always had waiting for him.

"Don't I always look pretty?" I flipped my hair over my shoulder, much to the annoyance of Margarita who had been trying to brush it.

"No." He smiled wide and I gave him a soft scowl. "You normally look like my big sister. When you make yourself pretty you don't seem much like her anymore." I froze for a moment, remembering similar words only forty-eight hours ago from someone who was nothing like my brother. "Can't I come with you? I want to see the chariots and pet the horses."

"You can see the chariots from the balcony here with papa, May and Mother. And the horses are the same ones in the stables that I take you to." I hated telling him no like everyone else did. I wanted him with me on the cameras next to Flickerman and talking to the Victors before the ceremonies start. It only ever took one look at his frail frame and pale face to tell myself it couldn't happen this year. "How about when I get back tonight and Papa is having his party we can watch my interview and see how bad I was this time. Ok?" I ruffled his white blond hair as he smiled again.

"Promise? You'll miss the party for me?"

"I promise. Now, you need to go get dressed." He nodded before slipping out the room, a smile never leaving his face.

"That was very sweet of you." I jumped slightly at the sound of Margarita's voice, almost forgetting that she was there.

"He deserves it, doesn't he?" She nodded, starting to apply a thin layer of makeup to my face. "It's unfair he can't come, he never asked to be the way he is." Then I remembered more of Thresh's words. "What do people say about him, about the fact he is barely seen?"

She stopped moving the brush and I could see in her eyes that she was choosing words carefully. "They just believe your father is being overprotective of Cory. Some of the older ones remember how your grandfather was the same way with your father when they were shaping him to take the government. They don't think anything, except what to wear to the next party. Now, let's get you in your dress before I finish everything else."

I could tell she was leaving out parts, the same way she constantly seemed to when I asked too many questions. I knew from the shear number of years together no amount of prodding would get her to tell me.

Margarita pulled the material out of the box slowly, giving me time to examine it silently. "Green?"

"There is only so much one can do with red, and I'm saving my best idea for this year for interview night. I thought we would throw everyone when they show up to your father's party in reds and lilacs, when instead I have you in green and May is in orange. Those will be the colors of the Capitol tomorrow." I laughed at her playful game and slipped out of the jacket and shorts I had put on in the morning as she effortlessly slipped the dress over my head. The bodice was a dark olive green, with white roses embroidered climbing up my side, and the skirt was a simple and thick black fabric flowing out around my legs.

"It's beautiful, Margarita. Thank you." She smiled, reaching for a small box she had already placed on the vanity before I arrived.

"Your father gave me your Games gift early so I could work around it." I reached for the box eagerly, waiting to see what my father had done this year. Inside was jewelry set, one necklace and a pair of earrings. The necklace had a simple chain, supported a large round pendulant. The background was black, with ceramic white rose rising off of it and simple olive leaves. The earrings were just olive colored roses on the same black disk but smaller.

"It's beautiful." Margarita laughed and fastened the necklace around my neck, the pendant hanging right in the v-cut of the bodice. "After wearing it with this, how could I wear it with anything else? Thank you." I looked perfect, all at the hands of someone else.

"You're welcome, my dear." She gathered up my hair into a simple ponytail, curling it lightly before pulling the red strand out to hang on the side of my face. "There. You better hurry and get downstairs. The roads will be crowded and you are already running late."

I gave her a quick hug before rushing out of the room and down stairs to the car. The Avox driver was quick, getting me to the training center before I could count to one thousand. I raced from the car and in through a side door. The chariots were already lined up, each pair of tributes sitting still and talking to no one, like every year.

The young girl from 5 was the first to see me and pointed while whispering something to the boy next to her. Soon, most of the tributes had their eyes on me. "Look at that boys, the little one isn't so little anymore." The sound of Finnick's voice made me smile and I walked towards him at he bopped me on the nose. "When did you grow up?"

"When did you stop coming down to the training center cafeteria with the other mentors on Opening Ceremony day?" I smirked lightly as he pretended to look offended.

"I had very important matters to discuss with very important people." He leaned in carefully, his breath hot on my ear. "It is amazing the secrets some are willing to share." I laughed as he lifted his head, looking at me curiously. "Now, when are you going to be ready to share all of yours?"

"Come on Finnick. I'm only fourteen, and even when I'm old enough you will just be an old man."

"That's such a shame, because I had a certain secret in mind." He lips curled upward, mischief gleaming in his eyes. "I want to hear about your time in District 11."

The playfulness of the conversation stopped then. "Who told you?"

"Haymitch didn't know I didn't have lunch with you today. He told me expecting that I had already heard something from you and he wanted to know what." I sighed in frustration.

"It was nothing honestly, just a walk around the District to see it. If I was in 4 you would have let me, or if Seeder was around I would have asked her but there was no way Mitia would say yes." He smiled, taking my hand as we walked closer to the chariots.

"You going to sponsor my boy this year? He's a volunteer, and very strong." He directed me to the District 4 chariot. "Hey, Marlin, come tell this nice lady here hello." The boy turned quickly, his eyes taking me in once before hopping down from the chariot.

"Nice to meet you Miss. Snow. I'm extremely honored to be here right now. I have dreamed of seeing the Capitol since I was a young boy." He stuck out his hand, smiling wide. The second I gave him mine; he locked it in a firm grip. I looked him over, noticing the strong abs that his costume barely concealed.

"Thank you. We are glad to have you here as well." The boy said nothing else as he winked at me before climbing back in next to the female tribute. I barely had a moment before the other mentors were dragging me over to their chariots to meet tributes. They all know Flickerman's favorite questions for me and how much my answer could affect sponsors.

"Miss. Snow! Flickerman has asked you to come out now!" Caesar's assistant spared me the torture of having to walk towards the District 12 chariot and the poor tributes that were naked under a layer of coal dust.

I walked away with my head held out, leaving the staging area to enter into cheering crowds and flashing cameras. "Lets have a large round of applause for December Snow!" Caesar always said that, yet it was never needed. They were already cheering.

I took my seat beside him as the main camera swiveled to face us. I flashed my brightest smile as I spoke. "Did you miss me?" The crowd erupted into another round of cheers and Caesar stood to pretend they were all for him. I looked out at the crowd, remembering the differences from five years ago, when I was ten.

_I stood quietly by the door to the outside stage, Margarita holding my hand. A few mentors were walking towards us. I recognized the youngest one, as the winner from my first year at the training center. Four years later he was the only one, except Haymitch, who I felt as though I knew._

_ "You ready for your big interview then? Just remember, that crowd is vicious." Margarita eyed him dangerously as I began to shake in fear again._

_ "What if I don't know what to say?" Even at ten, I knew the importance of making the camera love you, and I knew Finnick won just doing that. He bopped me on the noise and laughed._

_ "You'll be fine, the cameras will love you. They sure love your dad, don't they Haymitch?"_

_ "Quiet. Children have a habit of repeating everything they hear." Haymitch's eyes darkened as he looked at Finnick. "You better get out there, little one."_

_ I glanced at Finnick as Margarita began pushing me towards the staging area door. "But what do I say?"_

_ He took my other hand and kneeled down in front of me, for once his eyes almost level with mine. "Talk to it the same way we talk after you haven't seen me in a while. Pretend the camera is your friend." Finnick smiled as he let my hand go and Margarita pushed me out the door. _

_ I could feel the cameras turn to watch me as I walked out towards Flickerman. The crowd was eerily silent and out of habit I reached for my father's hand. He wasn't there. This time I was to enter the arena alone. My mother had spent months preparing May and I for this moment, our first interviews by ourselves where we would become more then just the President's children, but none of her tips helped in that moment. I knew what to do, just not how to find the courage to do it._

_ I sat in the chair next to Flickerman as the cameras zoomed in on us. The main one was looking directly at me and I couldn't help but stare, my mouth sealed shut. "I am fully honored to have you here with me for Opening Ceremonies tonight, Miss. Snow. How about you say a big hello to all of Panem?"_

_ I gave the camera a voice in my head like Finnick told me to do. 'Hello,' it said. 'I haven't seen you in a while, have I?'_

_ My mouth opened slowly, but the words were clear and strong. "Did you miss me?" In that moment the silent crowd roared into applause, people who were seated in stands rose to their feet shouting my name. From the sheer joy of it all, I cocked my head slightly and flashed a wide smile. I hadn't known then that in one sentence I had won the hearts of the Capitol._

"So, Miss. Snow, I have to ask." Caesar's voice quickly pulled me back to the present. "You have spent a good part of the day today with Victors and just came out from meeting many of the tributes, not to mention you shared a train ride with 11. Any thoughts as to who might take the crown?" This was the question Panem had been waiting for. Capitol citizens were preparing to memorize the few numbers and I would say, and tribute families were hoping I might just name their district.

"It's so hard to tell on the first day, Caesar. You know that of course." He laughed, this years crimson color shimmering like dried blood in the camera lights.

"You remind me every year, but we like to have an idea when we see them come out tonight. Don't worry, I'll ask you again after the interviews and announcement of training scores like always as well."

"Well, if you are really insistent." I flashed a sly smirk once before continuing. "I'd say we need to pay special attention to districts 9, 2, 1, 6 and…" I paused briefly, imagining Finncik's growing frustration as his eyes are glued on the monitor in the staging area. "4."

"Ok, we will recap that once. 1, 2, 4, 6, and 9." I nodd and out of the corner of my eye I see the cameras switch from the ones here to the ones on the Presidental Palace balcony and my father is center screen, mother on his left, Cory on his right and May standing beside Cory. He begins to speak, keeping a hand firmly gripped on Cory's shoulder that only the family would recognize as his attempt to keep my brother standing at all costs.

Father finishes his speech and I turn to see the lift door to the staging area open and the District One chariot starts the parade.

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	7. 73rd Hunger Games

**Chapter 7: 73****rd**** Hunger Games**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the 73rd Hunger Games begin!" Crane's voice boom through the screen. The canon fired and tributes started running off of their plates towards the Cornucopia. My eyes scanned the arena as much as the camera would allow me. It was solid desert around the Cornucopia, some mountains surrounding it and knowing Crane once a tribute crossed those mountains it would be solid water, perhaps a few islands of riches if you could swim.

Cheers broke through the crowd in the party hall as the first fight began, the boys from Districts 1 and 2 versus the girl from 12. It only took a moment for 1 to smash her down and strangle her as 2 ran for a knife and returned. Her throat was slashed and the canon boomed. One dead. Another round of cheers as the scoreboard in the corner pushed her down to the bottom and turned her name to grey. I imagined Haymitch in the control room, reaching for a bottle he had already stashed under his desk.

"You want to be in the control room, don't you?" My father surprised me as he came up behind me with two glasses of sweet wine. He handed me one and we clinked them together before I drowned the liquid. "Nice call on those boys. I'm glad you changed your mind on the District 2 girl." He nodded towards the screen and I turned just in time to see her get speared by the girl from 6.

"How many did I declare again?"

"Six. Both from 1, the boy from 2, girl from 6 and both from 4. You should start keeping track of your words."

I laughed and nodded towards the scoreboard. "I'm doing pretty well though." The boys from 1 and 2, and the girl from 6 each had a kill.

"Just make sure those six stay alive through the Cornucopia and as long as one wins no one will care how much farther the rest get." My father took a pen from his coat pocket and wrote his sponsor number on my hand.

"Whom exactly are you betting on?" He never placed his bets and sent the gifts himself; I was his persona for the Games.

"You." We both glanced at the scoreboard once more. Five were dead, my six still standing. "Now, I think your mother is busy enough that you can get to the control room." I followed his gaze towards the corner of the room where she was sitting on a couch surrounded by other woman and couldn't see us.

"Thank you, papa." I stood on my toes, kissing his cheek lightly and smelling the blood from the wounds in his mouth.

"President Snow, may I speak to you a moment?" I turned away quickly, recognizing the voice and determined to be away. My father's hand clasped my wrist and I rolled my eyes before turning around to greet the District 11 Peacekeeper head of the Capitol Branch. So much for letting me slip away when I had the chance.

"I'm so very glad you could make it, Arterus. Of course you know my daughter, December?"

"Of course, sir." Arterus looked directly into my eyes, instead of avoiding them like my father's. I noticed a gleaming shooting through his, as if he knew something dangerous. Sadly, I had a feeling what it might be. "My co-worker in 11, along with the Mayor, were very sorry that they did not have a chance to meet with her while she was in the District. Both of them are such big fans."

I shoot him a darkened stare, startled by his guts, as my father turned towards me. "I thought you had a meeting scheduled with both of them."

"Well, actually the only scheduled one was with the Head Peacekeeper. If the Mayor had wished to meet with me he should have told me sooner or joined me for breakfast in the Justice Building. I did speak with the Head Peacekeeper on the phone and it was not important if I recall. He only wanted to show his appreciation for the usual, nothing special, papa."

"Then what did you occupy your time with while in 11? Surely you spent the morning utterly bored until the reaping." I couldn't tell the thoughts going through my father's head here, in a room full of people, like I could when we were alone.

"I arranged a last minute tour of the District. I went to immerse myself in that way of life, didn't I papa? Sitting in an office for a meeting I could have just as easily had on the phone seemed a foolish way to do that."

"And who gave you this tour?" The gleam in my father's eyes at least told me that he wasn't upset, yet.

"A boy, sir. I believe it was a Frawley boy, about her age." At Arterus's words, my father stiffened. He turned to fully face the District commander, and I didn't need to see his eyes fill with anger to know it was there. The commander stepped back once, then again and looked towards me for help. I just gave him the most obvious 'I Told You So' look I could manage. "Of course," He stumbled over his words, trying to find the right lie. "It was all arranged by my co-worker's office. Mr. Frawley is a good boy, never gets in too much trouble I'm told."

I smirked at the commander before placing an innocent smile on my face and grabbing my father's arm. "See, papa? It was truly nothing much. The Head Peacekeeper completely understood. May I go to the Control Room now?"

His original smile was back, any anger gone from his mind. He nodded once before walking off to talk to someone else.

"I'm heading out as well, Miss. Would you mind if I walked with you?"

"It would be a pleasure." I wanted to tell him to get far away from me, but this man was not frightened of calling me out like the others. We walked in silence originally, slipping past crowds of people until we were practically out the door.

"I urge you to be cautious. Any District boy is dangerous, Miss. You should not communicate with them freely." I glanced around once to make sure no one overheard before answering him. There was one Avox tending the bushes not far off. They couldn't talk, but that never meant your secrets were perfectly safe.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean. Your office organized the tour for me, of course. I was perfectly fine."

"This is not a mind game right now, it's a friend trying to help another. No doubt you will return to our district and when you do I suggest you stay away from the boys wandering the streets." I couldn't utter another word as he walked the opposite way. The only thought in my mind was 'since when did we become friends'? I wasn't friends with any district commanders. They were all brute and power hungry, nothing more.

The training center loomed before me and I raced in the doors, grabbing my Control Room key from Daisy without a word. I slipped into an elevator, sliding the key into the designated spot.

The hall into the control room was made of up large screens, on the right showing the games and the left the scoreboard. It appeared as though the Cornucopia blood bath was over and eight dead.

"Haymitch! Put down that bottle!" I didn't need to look towards the left to clarify what I knew in that moment; both from 12 were gone.

I opened the door slowly, the lights from monitors and glowing buttons on each control panel glowing brightly from inside. I leaned on the doorframe, taking in the sights.

About 32 mentors filled the room. A few were banging on the door into the Gamekeeper's control room, yelling something about 'unfair poison coated daggers without a case'. I glanced towards the District 5 monitors to see a girl grabbing a dagger and her skin burning on contact with the metal, on replay.

Mags, Finnick, Chaff, and Haymitch were in a corner, Mags trying to pull a bottle from Haymitch as he grabbed it from Chaff. "Haymitch, stop drinking and get your head clear so you can help the rest of us."

"You want me to stop drinking? Then let me get out of here." His eyes were scathing red as he pushed, but Finnick and Chaff held him down.

"Why? I know where you want to go. It's been 14 years Haymitch, there is nothing there for you." I walked closer slowly, trying to figure out what was happening. This was more then the usual drunken rage.

"There is a lot more for me somewhere else, but I can't get that." Haymitch spotted me, his eyes digging into mine as he spoke every word.

Finnick turned to see what captured his gaze and shoved Haymitch's arm into Chaff's other hand as he saw me. He walked towards me quickly, grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards the door. "Mags, you can manage this with Chaff, right?" She looked at the two of us carefully, but sighed in agreement as he dragged me from the room.

"What are you doing?" My voice was stern as the door shut behind me. "Usually I can help a bit."

"Not today." I looked at him curiously and he rushed to finish. "Not after what happened in 11. He'll think of his anger and just get worse."

I nodded as we turned down a hall towards a small sitting room for the mentors. "What happened 14 years ago that he's freaking out about?" Finnick stopped, obviously debating how much to tell me. "Tell me."

"There was a girl, named Selena. She lived in the outskirts; I'm not sure even how they met. They were in love, and he would spend every moment he could with her when here. Then, 14 years ago, she died." His plainness in the statement bothered me. Usually it took more effort to get something out of Finnick.

"Haymitch loved a Capitol girl?" I couldn't help but laugh at the thought, the man who hated this city more then anything in love with one of the citizens.

"Selena was different apparently. You know the outskirts; it's almost like a District, isn't it? Those people don't count as the Capitol, even you know that." I thought about the outskirts, small building clustered together with people who were starving and did the jobs we didn't have enough Avoxes for. Perhaps, if the woman hadn't died the same year I was born, she might have worked on the streets by the Palace. Maybe, I would have known her. Anyone that even Haymitch could love must have been sweet.

"How'd she die?" Finnick stood up from the couch, walking towards the window. He took in deep breathes, looking at me once quickly. It wasn't the story he didn't want to tell me exactly, it was the final part.

"Let me guess. Haymitch made you promise not to tell." Finnick nodded.

"Yes, but I don't even think he knows exactly how himself. He has theories, but no exact details." We heard shouts from the Control Room and I could see color shine in the hall as a name switched to black on the scoreboard.

Nine dead and thirteen left. Yes, the 73rd Hunger Games have truly begun.

**Please review and make me smile :D**


	8. Cory

**Chapter 8: Cory**

I watched my brother flipping through the Sponsors catalog, scribbling numbers and names onto a sheet of paper beside him. Color flushed his cheeks and for once his body looked full. The TV screen showed a tribute searching for food, yet no one was watching it. Soon, the game makers will be bored and we will have something to capture our attention. Yet maybe they would drag it out with only three tributes left. The boys from 1 and 4, and the girl from 6.

"Now, who shall we send a basketball too?" My father was leaning over Cory's shoulder, laughing at the magazine contents.

"If you send anything, it goes to District 4. He could use a basketball if he chucked it at 6's head." I looked up from my book casually, scanning the room past my brother and father. Mother sat in a chair with a glass of wine; reading through the party plans once more. May's attention was in a fashion magazine, marking certain pages for her stylist. They were both so proper, sitting straight and talking in soft voices. Instead, I responded loudly and was sprawled on the couch.

"That would be something we haven't seen before, death by basketball." My father walked towards me, lifting my head and shoulders to take a sit under them. I didn't move my shoulders as they settled in his lap.

"Can I send the girl some of those little bottles like you have in your room, May?"

My sister put down her magazine and joined Cory on the floor. I waited for her to snap at the importance of perfume, but instead her voice was soft. "Sure, Cory. But what does a tribute need perfume for? All it will do is attract the others towards her when they smell it."

"Good, then she can die and the one I'm backing will win." I laughed loudly along with my father as he took a sip of a cocktail on the side table.

"Can I back 4 then, if he's going to win?" Cory smiled lightly, turning his gaze towards the TV and watched the girl from 6 for a moment.

"Of course, Cory. How about tonight I'll give December one of my bottles and she can take it to the center tomorrow. For you, I bet they'll send that exact one." May touched his hand, wrapping it in her own. "Cory, your hands are cold. Do you need another sweater?"

My mother pushed her papers to the side, focusing her attention on the two in the middle of the room before glancing at the clock. "It's late, Cory. You should get to bed if you aren't feeling well." She knelt beside him, pressing her hand on his forehead.

"Mother, he's fine. It's a bit cold in here, that's all." I rubbed my bare arms, pretending that I was shivering as well.

"Coriolanus, call for an Avox to raise the heat in this room." I sat up so my father could move away, and he walked towards the family room door.

"Mama, I am fine. It is just the room, even December said it was cold." I ignored the fact that a thin layer of sweat covered my stomach and pulled a blanket over me.

"Cory, come sit here with me, under the blanket. We can keep each other warm." Cory came over, burrowing under the blanket as May sat on his other side. His hands pressed against my bare arm and I shuddered at the cold touch. My sister and I placed our hands on his, touching each other without thought to the other. Our mind focused only on Cory.

"Can we go to the park tomorrow?" His voice was tiny and he burrowed further under the blanket, trying to hide how cold he truly was. I opened my mouth to speak, but May was faster.

"Not tomorrow, Cory. I have to help mama with planning the end of the games banquet and December has to go to the Training Center to help in the control room because one of the Game makers called her saying he was sick and asked if she could fill in tomorrow. Isn't that right, December?"

I nodded quietly, trying not to look him in the eye. "Right. We can't have the Games ending after mama's party tomorrow night because of a sick game maker, can we?"

Cory shook his head, closing his eyes softly. I hated lying to him; I could barely even stomach it. It wouldn't be hard to take him, I would lose the last day at the training center for him but it wasn't worth getting his hopes up. At this rate, he would barely make it out of bed tomorrow.

"Papa." My voice was harsh as Cory's breathing slowed down. "Papa!"

"What is it? He is having another one?" My mother rushed over from the door where she was waiting for my father to return.

"Nothing, mama. I had just reminded December that we have a fitting in the morning and she was calling for father to find a way out of it." May stood, quickly tucking the blanket around Cory's side. "Speaking of tomorrow, would you mind looking at my shoes before we all go to bed? I think they make my thighs look quite fat though my stylist claims they are fine."

"What about Cory?" My mother tried to get closer to him, but May lightly pushed her back the door.

"He's with December, and when father gets back the two of them will make sure Cory gets to bed alright." My mother continued to protest as May herded her from the room. It was an attack alright, and the last thing Cory needed was my mother shouting at doctors and the rest of us.

I threw the blanket to the side as his body warmed up quickly, a thin layer of sweat beading on his forehead. "Cory, it's going to be okay, I promise. Just listen to my voice, and everything will be fine." I tried to keep the panic out of the words, speaking calmly into his ear.

My father came back into the room, a doctor and an Avox right behind him. "Is it an attack again?" I only nodded before the doctor went to work checking my brother's pulse and pulling a cloth out of his bag. "Miss. Snow, if you please." He nodded towards my brother's head as the Avox turned him to lie flat on the couch. I kneeled on the ground and continued whispering in his ear about anything that could cross my mind.

Except for my mumblings, the room was silent. I could almost hear my mother's crying from the floor above as she waited in May's room for news of her son. Every single time was the same, she wasn't dumb enough to not realize what was happening.

My brother's breathing was steady, as if he was just asleep on the couch. I wanted to pull the blanket around him and turn of the lights so he could sleep better, but the doctor's presence reminded me how much more this was. In a little bit, he would be fully conscious again as if nothing ever happened, not even remember anything after the first heat flash on the couch. To him, we were all still laughing and talking about the Games and nothing more. And before anyone could say anything, he would try to stand and collapse form dizziness, finally understanding what had happened.

"December, my dear. It might be more helpful if you were talking about something a little more cheerful." My father's voice startled me, making me realize I had begun describing the last exam I had in my studies that was on some famine before the Dark Days.

"You know, Cory, I bet that after all the mentors and this year's victor leaves to go back to the Districts, we can get into the practice room in the training center and play in the camouflage station. I could paint you into a giant bumblebee, and I'd let you make me whatever you want. Then afterwards, we could go over to the stables and give all the horses carrots." I kept blabbering on, my attention only on my brother and his slowly rising and falling chest.

His eyes burst open and the doctor reached for his arms while my father tried to pin down his legs, but as always we were too late. "Where are mama and May?" Cory sat up for a moment, about to swing a leg over the side of the couch before falling back down. "Oh." He said nothing more as he shut his eyes to register what had just happened, and I knew he was trying desperately to pretend it never did.

"I'll take care of him from here. You should get to bed." My father gave me a hand to help me to my feet, yet I never took my eyes from my brother. "You've done very well, my little rose." For a moment, I could hear my mother shouting from upstairs, and I pictured May sitting on the bed, promising her it would all be okay.

"May is the month when roses bloom, papa." I though of my sister lying quickly to make Cory feel healthy, and how quickly she could get my mother from the room when needed.

"But December is when they are a luxury." He kissed my forehead, squeezing a hand on my shoulder before I walked from the room, the smell of his roses implanted in my nose forever.

**Sorry for the disjointed chapter- it's finals week but I couldn't bear letting this just wait around for two weeks so I wrote about the first thing on my mind for this story. Hope you enjoyed it anyways!**


	9. Mean

**Hey guys! So as I've been writing this I keep hearing parts of songs that make me think of the story, so I'm going to start each chapter with a few lines from the song and use the title as the chapter name. I had to incorporate them somehow!**

_All you are is mean_

_And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life_

_And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean_

_-Taylor Swift_

**Chapter 9: Mean**

We could hear the laughter and shouting from behind the doors into the Party Hall. Cory stood between May and I, each of us holding one of his hands. I couldn't help but touch the back of mine to his forehead, making sure everything was alright. He shouldn't be standing less then twenty-four hours after an attack, but he had no choice. None of us did, because the cameras were always watching.

"I almost can't tell you two apart." Cory laughs, looking back and forth from May and I. I glanced down at my skintight black dress with white gems sewed on in a swirling pattern, May's in white and black. Both of us wear the gloves that stretch up to our elbows, but clothes barely mask our differences. She looks comfortable, hair hanging perfectly down her back while I made Margarita braid mine. Dress us up, but we would always be different except for the two steady hands holding on to our brother.

"Now, what man could possibly have sired three wonderful children such as those?" I laughed at my father's voice, while May rolls her eyes.

"Not you of course, Papa." He kissed my cheek as he fell into place beside me and mother stopped next to May. "And remember, I was betting on our Victor from the beginning, no matter that I did back 4 a bit more in the end."

"Whatever you want to believe, darling." He squeezed my hand once before stepping forward and opening the door while I rolled my eyes. I was never wrong about the Games.

I fell into step behind him, pulling Cory lightly with my left hand as we entered the room. Cameras were flashing and people flocked towards us, each wanting a glimpse of the five Snows together before we broke apart. In public during Game season, this was a rare occurrence.

I waited for only the moment my mother my required before dropping Cory's hand and trying to approach the losing mentors. I saw Haymitch already by the bar and Finnick was swishing some drink absentmindedly. In part, I was glad when I felt a hand grab my arm, for now wasn't the time to apologize.

"Miss. Snow, would you care to join Darren and I? We were on our way to talk to your father about his take on the Games." Mr. Broderson, one of my father's trusted advisors, let go of my arm as he spoke and I turned slowly.

"Don't you look enchanting? I even told Dad for a moment when he pointed you out that he had the wrong twin. I'm not used to such glamour when we meet." Darren eyed me swiftly, pursing his lips in a light smirk.

"Thank you, Broderson, for the compliment. I do try ever so hard to please people like you." His father laughed before turning to lead us to the opposite side of the room.

"So, how does it feel to be wrong?" He snickered, hooking an arm through my own as if we were as close as the world wanted us to be.

"I was not wrong, thank you very much. I declared both of the final two on Opening Ceremonies, and I sent a fair amount of gifts to both of them. I'm amazed you haven't looked up my sponsor number on the stat boards considering you've had it memorized for years."

"I did actually. You might like to know that in the final two days that five/eights of your spending, including bets, went to District Four instead of 6. Therefore, you did not split it equally and therefore you were wrong."

"Please, all the news reels tomorrow will read that I called it right again. Only you care about the tiny sliver where I was wrong. Must I remind you of the 71st Games? Did you only bet on 10 because I didn't? Not smart to place it on only one district going in, considering you were out at the Cornucopia. And let's see, this year I remember something about five in your first listing. They didn't last long either, did they?"

"Shut up. It's not my fault you have an in with all the mentors who tell you the secrets."

"Right, like one of them will really say 'Oh, don't bet on my kid this year, they aren't even going to last five minutes'." Darren grumbled and took his arm away from mine, much to my pleasure.

"Fine, then next year we get a sponsor number together. Think of how we could reign over every bet together. You make the calls, I do the follow-up. Darren and December, the best sponsor team in history."

"Very funny. It would at least have to be my name first if all the calls are on me."

"Look at our children, Tauro. Those two fit together perfectly, don't they?" The crowd around our fathers broke into laugher and I couldn't help but scowl. "How about you talk to your boss and we take a few days off together to take the family on vacation?"

Mixed emotions filled me, and I could see it in Darren's eyes that he was feeling the same way. Vacation meant visiting an old arena and a week enjoying past games for ourselves. Together meant being constantly paired as two best friends and expected to play along.

"Well, Mr. Snow, considering you are my boss I take it that I may have a few vacation days? The real question is which one gets to pick the arena this time?"

"67." We spoke at the same time and I had the desire to punch him. We were not supposed to agree. Our fathers laughed and resumed their previous conversation, taking that as the final decision.

"Why did you pick 67?" I wanted to kick him for asking first, knowing he would change his answer based on mine.

"The girl, who dropped her token. Only one to ever set off the mines." I eyed him carefully. "Tell me that's not why you want to go." I didn't care about the truth, just let him tell me that I was wrong.

"No. That's why I wanted to go." In fourteen years I had never wanted to punch him as much as I did then. Either he was telling the truth, which with his game memory would have been easy to avoid, or he was lying to piss me off. "I guess we have something in common. I was beginning to worry there was nothing in you."

"Says the boy who was begging me to make a sponsor team with him next year."

"Fine, you can make a good bet. However, that's only while we stay on the current games. If I bet you twenty that I could list every death in order for the 67th Games faster then you, you wouldn't take it because I would win."

"That's the secret to betting Darren, you only bet when you know you are going to win, not when you want to keep your pride." He snickered, nodding towards the final scoreboard.

"You didn't win this time though."

"Don't you have anyone else to bother?" I knew the answer, there were few girls like me who would hold a conversation about the one thing he knew; the Games.

"I just want to know how you feel that you lost."

A voice called me from across the room and I answered Darren quickly. "I told you that I didn't. Do you know whose number the third spot is?" He glanced quickly to the board.

"Your father. That doesn't count, it has to be you."

"When you are done being pathetic, look up whom he signed his account over to on day 3. That makes me win." I turned quickly, anxious to end the conversation.

"I hate you." His voice was dark and slow.

My mouth twitched into a smile as I walked away. No matter what, I always had the winning hand.

**Sorry for the shorter chapter guys! Next one will be longer, I promise!**

**Please review!**


	10. White Liar

_Hey white liar_

_the truth comes out a little at a time_

_and it spreads just like a fire_

_slips off of your tongue like turpentine_

_and I don´t know why, white liar_

_-_Miranda Lambert

**Chapter 10: White Liar**

Deep breath. The door was heavy like every year, but never with the guilt I couldn't help but feel. Voices were soft from the mentors as I heard them place things in boxes and finish cleaning out the control room. I pushed on the door again, and found it swing open on my light touch.

Haymitch was there, ready for me with a box tucked under his arm. He most likely had been packed for days, ever since the Cornucopia bloodbath. He just wanted to get home. "Hurry up and say what you need to in here. I want to talk to you alone." He brushed by, stopping to lean up against the hallway wall.

I crossed the threshold silently, looking around for Finnick. His jaw was tightly set, eyes slightly bloodshot as he turned off the screen at his station. The knowledge that he had watched the death once more did nothing to ease my guilt.

"Finnick, you know I sent that bottle, right?" The room turned to look at me quickly, eyes shifting back and forth between the District 4 mentor and myself.

"Kid, you had no way to know a perfume bottle would be the perfect weapon in the arena. So, District 6 sprayed my kid in the eyes to momentarily blind him enough to cut his neck. That's what happens in the games." He was right, death happened all the time and I assumed he knew my guilt wasn't at the boy's death. It was the Games, but Capitol blood leads me to keep my Game deals and bet.

"I promised you to be his main sponsor and I betrayed you with that bottle. Like it or not, I cost you a victory and barely held on to my own." Finnick crossed the room swiftly, poking my nose like always.

"You just feel guilty you let me down. I'll just get them next year and I want a full dinner twice for my kid in return, deal?"

"Deal." In a moment, the guilt was gone and my bargains were ready to be made again. Promise is a promise, and though the boy meant nothing to me he meant something to Finnick.

He wrapped me in a light hug, the other mentors turning away from our conversation once they knew what District 4 was gaining for next year. Two meals were nothing from me, and they knew it.

Haymitch appeared I'm the doorway once more, clearing his throat loudly. "Didn't we agree this good bye in here would go quickly?" He looks back and forth from Finnick and I as Finnick gave my shoulder a final squeeze. "See you on the victory tour." without another word he turned back to his station.

Haymitch jerked his head towards the hall and I followed him away from the control room. His pace was quick, and I had to jog slightly to keep up.

"You still planning on doing the Victory Tour?" The question caught me in surprise and it took a moment to form an answer.

"Haven't missed it in almost 5 years. Why would I now?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go, that's all."

His soft tone stopped me suddenly. "Why?"

"You do enough that could get you locked up by your father already. You are talking with me, after all." There was no sarcasm in his voice, only the steady truth that sent shivers down my spine.

"He likes me on the Victory Tour. It's publicity thing." I crossed my hands over my chest, staring at him back.

"How great would it be for publicity matters when you get caught running around the Districts with some boy?"

"You are still mad about me sneaking out in 11." I was shocked; the words barely still a whisper.

"You thought I had forgotten that one? I'll tell you something, little one. I don't forget when someone disappoints me." Haymitch pushed me through an open door, locking it behind us. The room was small and I knew no one would come this way.

"And how is it that I disappointed you, of all people? You always say that it's important I make the Districts know I care. Now, one family in District 11 in convinced of it."

"One family? I thought I was just one boy?" Haymitch grabbed the collar of my shirt and pushed me up against the wall.

"He asked me if I wanted to meet them and I said yes." I met his cold eyes, trying to push the fear away from my own.

"You are a foolish child, little one." His tone was sneering, breath thick against my face and the smell of liquor overpowering. "I've spent years setting you up for your future and in one night you could have ruined all of it."

"My future? You have nothing to do with my future!" He let go of my collar, throwing my whole body back against the wall as I tried to push forward.

"Do you really think you live with perfect free will? Nothing's ever been you choice since you were born. Tell me, December, did the District boy talk politics with you? Did he mention your brother?"

I froze, Thresh's words echoing in my ears and trying desperately to block them out. His comments about Cory, the succession line and meetings in back rooms, just like the one I was having now. "Any boy would be a fool to say anything against Cory to my face. One word from my lips and I could have him dead."

"Not this boy though, you'll keep him alive to be your little toy. Don't deny that you like him, you like the way he tells you that you are different from the others. It makes you feel special." Haymitch spit the last word, the droplets landing on my face.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say as I looked into his eyes. Usuaully, he was like my father; when one looked hard enough there was feeling somewhere inside, but not today. Today was simply cold disgust.

"He cares about me, for me. Anyone around here works through me to get to my father. Thresh is different because he has nothing to gain. No matter how hard I tried my father would never pay attention to a District boy unless he was in the arena."

"And what happens when this one gets reaped, little one? Do you sit on the sidelines like you do for the others and bet on his survival, or do you try to save him? What happens when you can't?"

"He won't be reaped Haymitch. He won't be." I turned my head away from his face as I spoke, trying not to see the doubt on his. Haymitch hit his nerve, the way he always did when speaking of something I hadn't bother to think of before. Always one step ahead.

"Tell yourself that, little one. When he does, he'll use you just like the others do. Then what will you do but deny the boy you've been playing with freedom and he'll realize there is nothing you can do. I need you to trust me, little one."

He pulled my face back towards his and for a mere second warmth flooded his eyes before he pushed it back. "Why? You've dragged me off to some little room and pushed me against a wall? Why trust you now?"

"Because like it or not, I'm the only left who isn't using you, and won't ever use you."

"Use me? You already are Haymitch! Aren't you the one who spoke of setting up my future! Didn't you start the talk about Cory years back and that I would be behind him? I see the way you smile at the camera when we are on the screen together, and I know it's to get back at my father. You use me the most of everybody!"

"Not against your father like you think. I use you by pushing you towards the people so that if other arrangements don't work out we might have you to pick up the pieces of this country. I use you, little one, for your potential, not against your father. He's already using you enough against me."

Before I could say a word, a loud rattling pounded on the door. "Haymitch, trains are leaving for the Districts in five minutes and if you don't show up soon they'll start looking for you!" Mags' voice was loud, vibrating painfully against my ears.

"Go. If I'm right, you're already late for school. First day of classes since reaping and you have already messed up." I wanted to hit him more then anything, but instead I clenched my fists and ran from the room. Because he was right, Haymitch was already right though it burned more then any lie.


	11. Imagine

_Imagine there's no Heaven_

_It's easy if you try_

_No hell below us_

_Above us only sky _

-John Lennon

**Chapter 11: Imagine**

I walked the street cautiously, trying to keep the eyes of the PA, Panem Academy, students running through the city. I cursed Haymitch in my head for keeping me so long, judging the time from the fact that the doors to Panem Academy were filled with students, who start class two hours after us.

"Hey, CP! Forget your blazer?" I turned to find a girl one year above me holding out a scarlet blazer much like the one I must have left at the Training center, or sitting on my bed. Most likely still in my closest, actually. "Take mine. Rumors said I could pawn it off well at PA but I think you need it more then I need the money considering you are already late."

I grabbed the blazer, pulling it over my shoulders quickly. "What about you? You're the year ahead of me, right? I've seen you in the halls."

"My dad switched jobs, so I'm out of Capitol Prep. He was on the emergency peacekeeping force here in the Capitol but had some trouble with his eye sight during Game break and decided to switch to a different path. Pays better, but we lost some status for school at least." She smiled lightly, folding the collar of the blazer back down for me.

"Why not get the eyes fixed up at the hospital?"

"The old man's dead scared of surgery. I think it's crazy but at least I'm not in that position." She pointed to a woman holding the hand of her child and trying to push money into the door guard's hand. Both the woman and child were dressed in plain colored clothing, simply hanging on their bodies and I knew they were Outskirts trying to buy their way through the system. "Why even have a school for them? I hear that most outskirt kids don't even ever walk through the doors of Outer Hall since it's so pathetic. We got it pretty well, Snow." She nudged me lightly and I smiled in return.

"Thanks for the Blazer. I'll send it back to you tonight once I find mine."

"Don't worry about it. I'm now free to dress however I want. Free dress under a blazer doesn't really count." The girl smiled before waving to another girl climbing the school's steps.

As I continued walking, I thought of all the others who might have changed schools over break based on their parents' jobs. Sure, no one wanted to go to OH but once you were there you knew there was no chance of ever getting out. Only 79 jobs in the Capitol allowed children to go to CP, 79 jobs that were always changing except the top few. Like my father. Then there were the children so high up they requested private tutoring, like Cory. Well, that was the story for Cory anyways.

The guard at the front door winked an eye as I raced into the school, running up the stairs to my year's class. I pushed open the door quickly, allowing it to bang against the wall as it opened. A loud round of cheers broke through the initial silence, and students gave me a standing ovation.

"Congratulations Miss. Snow. In all eight years that I have been this class's teacher this is the earliest you have arrived on the first day of term after Game Break." Mrs. Penninger did not smile as she spoke, only pointing towards my seat. I glanced at the clock to realize she was right. Somehow I had broken my record by forty-five minutes. "You missed our math lesson, Miss. Snow."

"Perfect, that's the one I hate the most." Most of my classmates snickered softly, Darren turning to give me a high five.

"Get out your history books. I may have the children of basically the four most powerful people in Panem in this room, but I still have the authority in my class room." Looking around the room, I felt bad for Mrs. Penninger. There was May, myself, and Darren Broderson. Then Macey Kieger, whose father ran the Peacekeeper offices, and Keith Crane, third child of the Head Gamemaker. All five of us who had been told all our lives no single person could stop us. Yeah, she had no chance.

Yet, in that moment we listened. It wasn't the nicer building, smaller classes, or social ranks that set our school apart. It was the lessons, where we were told more then any District student would dream of knowing. No matter which child took over their parent's job, the others would still have rank. We were the ones being trained to head Panem.

I looked at Darren, his father's only child, and tried to think of him standing next to my father's desk with a thick pad of notes and whispering urgently in the ear of my brother. I couldn't help but see their differences, the small pale boy who would always try to be sitting and the tall tanned man who walked with a look of power already at fifteen. Without warning, Haymitch's voice broke into my mind and the picture changed to me sitting behind that desk. I wanted to hurl.

"Miss. Snow. Just because you are earlier then usual does not mean you can not pay attention now that you are here." I snapped back into reality as my sister rolled her eyes at me. "Now, we are starting this term with religions, concepts in history that I will be introducing you to for the first time. These topics fall into that category of material only taught at this school. As part of your oath when you walked through these doors for the first time it is not to be discussed with just anyone outside these walls, am I understood?" Each of the twelve students in the class nodded their heads vigorously. "Good. Open your books to page 254."

I could hear everyone flipping pages quickly as I found my own and read the heading; Ancient Ideas of Gods and the Spiritual. The others around me did the same, and as each became just as puzzled as myself we looked forward.

"Now, religion was the idea that there is something more then humanity in the universe, something that controlled each of our destinies and our fates." A few students started to laugh at such foolishness and I couldn't help but join them. Mrs. Penninger only smiled lightly and continued with her lecture. "This was practiced in many ways from the earliest forms of humans until the establishment of Panem. It is rumored some even followed such a practice until the Dark Days, and all of the believers were wiped away with District 13. We teach this subject so that none of you will ever be swayed by its appealing forces in the future, and are in no way condoning such a practice."

Out of habit the class was reading ahead on the page while she spoke, small comments being made throughout the room. "This, my friends, is why we have Panem!" Darren's voice boomed through the room. "Listen to this." He picked up his book and started to read. "Humans prayed to their gods for anything from rain to a long and happy life, mostly done on their knees looking up into the sky." He dropped the book, standing to address everyone better. "How could anyone who believed in some guy controlling everything in the sky, control society?"

"Sounds like something a District idiot would believe in?" We all laughed as two kids got on the floor and clamped their hands together to fake pray. He was right, those stupid ideals only came about in the Districts.

"Right, because we all need a Gamemaker controlling the Capitol." Macey Kieger could barely get out her words as she laughed.

"Exactly, Macey." Mrs. Penninger motioned for everyone to take their seats once more. "The people back then believed there was the ultimate Gamemaker. However, he effected everyone, not only those who were being taught a lesson like our tributes are reminded for the wrongs of their ancestors."

"So they would have treated us, some of the best blood in Panem like a dirty tribute?" May wrinkled her nose in disgust while she spoke.

"Exactly, which is why we no longer follow such a bizarre belief." I watched the faces of my classmates turn back and forth from confusion, to ridicule to disgust and couldn't help but simply smile myself. "Miss. December, I would like to hear your opinon on the matter so far since you seem so happy right now."

I stood, turning to face the rest of the room, knowing they expected me to have the perfect answer. And I did. "I'm no tribute. There are only two people who control me, and that is not some crazy old guy or group of immortals in the sky. Only me and all of our parents who formed this city and brought us up and above the Districts. Anyone else is lunatic."

The class erupted in cheers and Mrs. Penninger was beaming. Sure, I was constantly late and disruptive but still her favorite. I always grasped the point of the lesson right away.

**Disclaimer: This chapter in no way expresses my views on religion or demotes anyone who is a strong believer. It is for the purpose of this story entirely and nothing more. **

**Hope you enjoyed! R&R!**


	12. Watching You

**Chapter 12: Watching You**

_"By then I'll be strong as superman_

_We'll be just alike, hey, won't we dad?_

_When I can do everything you do_

_'Cause I've been watching you"_

_-Rodney Atkins_

"There's something to say for the peace between Game activities." Papa breathed deeply, throwing an arm over my shoulder as I felt his side expand and contract against my back.

"For you, Coriolanus. Nothing crosses your desk for the Tour until it begins while I'm planning the final party like a madwoman." Once again, my mother had a planning book open on her lap, and a wine glass to her right balanced on a pile of catalogs.

"You're always planning a party, mama." May leaned against her legs, textbook open on the ground. She scribbled a few notes before looking towards me. "How come you are never studying? I doubt you actually do it before dinner."

"Yes, December, I wanted to have a word with you about that. I do call the Penninger woman once in a while during term to check in and she says you never do anything." Mother folded her catalog shut, eyeing me slowly as she sipped the wine.

"Don't worry. Only May and Darren have higher scores then me on examinations and those are the only reported grades at CP anyhow. I am fantastic at this religion unit anyway, so maybe I'll even pass Darren."

"That's just because you've decided no one can control you." My twin never even looked up from her book.

"Isn't that right papa?" I shut my eyes, a smile wide on my lips.

"Of course, my rose. Except for me." I felt his hand pat my head.

"And me too, Ember. One day I'm gonna be in charge." Papa laughed loudly, pulling Cory onto his lap and my little brother grabbed my hand.

"That's right, my boy. It will be a sight when you can tell December Everett Snow what to do." No one couldn't smile, and no one couldn't laugh.

"Papa, tell us a story. One of the ones from when you were younger." Even mother and May closed their books, pushing them to the side on anticipation. "The one of you becoming President." It was Cory's favorite, the one of glory and leadership in a desperate time. The story of the man I brother wanted to be.

Papa took a deep breath before beginning. "My father was a Political, working closely with a man named Indigo, who ran the Political offices, and Stephan Broderson, Darren's grandfather. Now, Stephan and my father noticing something; Indigo had no children, no family to leave his position to. Tauro and I were young, only 7 and 8 respectively as it was the year of the 29th games.

Seeing potential in the two of us, our father chose to teach us at home, as there was no Capitol Prep back then. When we reached around the ages of 13, Tauro decided he wanted to go to school with other kids. That's what set us apart back then. Stephan realized his son was special, yes, but I was the one they needed to count on. Each day, Stephan and my father would tutor me and Tauro would come over after classes for dinner and the same subjects taught to you now.

Then, at 17, Indigo died. The Capitol was in an uproar, people trying to decide who to look at for their next leader. My father was a young man by some standards but poor in health and he did not wish to run. Only determined to support his friend, Stephan did not run either. One night my father came home, looked at me and said "Son, tomorrow you shall give a speech to run as our future President. You will win, and your sons shall keep our family name in the history books for years."

Papa ran his hands through Cory's hair, smiling lightly with the little boy. "I did as he told me, finding fierce opposition but no one else as right for Panem. Tauro accompanied me at each turn, alerting me of those set against my rise as President. A few died suddenly," He smirked softly, mischief gleaming in his eyes, the same look I wore constantly. "The stress must have been getting to them all. Another reason they could have never ruled the country. Three years after chaos, the final election was held between one another and me. The choice was simple, and the people voted for me in vast majority. At age twenty, I became the President of Panem. And then I met your mother."

Each of us perked in interest, getting to a part of the story we had never heard before. Mother rolled her eyes, picking up the catalog once more trying to show no interest. "Well, she was a looker then. The thickest blond hair a man could know, the most piercing emerald eyes that I could never look away from. It was the celebration party and she walked in, a clipboard in hand. I recognized her father from the media department, and never even looked him in the eye as we were introduced. She captivated me in that very moment. What exactly was it that your father did again, sweetheart?"

"Hush, Coriolanus. You know quite well." Her eyes were cold as she flipped pages without a purpose.

"Alright, just trying to include you, my love. Your grandfather ran the office of media announcements directly dealing with District news, such as shortages in products or some news about a district peacekeeping officer, like a marriage."

"But papa, I thought Grandpa ran Victor media until he retired."

"Quiet, my rose. I might have just put in a small word for his promotion." Papa laughed cheerfully. "Now, your mother was a hard shell, not very interested in me for almost five years. Each time her father came to a party, I asked her to dine with me the following night and each time she said no."

"What made her change her mind?" Cory's voice was soft, sleep apparent in his eyes.

"That's enough." Mother snapped the catalog closed. "Children, to bed. You each have classes tomorrow and December needs to work on packing for the Victory tour. You leave in two weeks, and still have that religion exam before you go."

"Come now, Maribelle. Just a bit of fun."

"I said that's enough." She stood briskly, knocking May with her legs.

Cory rubbed his eyes, taking Mother's hand but turning to look at Papa. "What ever happened to the man you ran against, Papa?"

"Let's just say he didn't last very long afterwards, son." Even Mother laughed as my father's eyes twinkled.

"Will I really be like you one day?"

"Of course, my son. Of course. Everyone in the Capitol will always know you; everyone in Panem will see your face forever. All three of you." Papa kissed each of us on the forehead and disappeared through the door into his office.

Silently, I climbed the stairs to my bedroom, shutting the door softly and crossing to the vanity table. I looked at my face in the mirror's reflection, seeing the open bags across the room with a few comfort clothes stuffed in for the tour. Papa was right; everyone would forever know my face. I saw the ember gem reflecting from the corner of my eye, a strand of red hair falling in my face as always. These were the things the public knew me by.

For the first time in years I traced my nail along the outer rim of the gem, sticking on a small bit of metal. I tapped it lightly, forcing the gem to pop from my face. I grabbed a small jar of foundation from the drawer, filling in my scar with the make up. I quickly braided my hair, tucking the red strand away.

For a moment, I convinced myself no one would notice me, no one could possibly find me in that face, but I was wrong. The blond hair was obvious, a trademark of the Snow family for generations.

That's what I would have to hide above all. I knew then exactly what needed to be done. The whole thing was getting dyed red.

**R&R as always! Thanks to all my readers!**


	13. Pray For You

**Chapter 13: Pray For You**

_Pray your birthday comes and nobody calls_

_I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls_

_I pray all your dreams never come true_

_Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your_

_car,_

_Wherever you are honey, I pray for you._

_I pray for you_

_-Jaron and the Long Road to Love_

I placed my fiddle back in its stand as the slight knock sounded once more on the door. I called for the visitor to come in, tracing my finger down the bow's smooth wood. The Avox made a deep guttural sound to get my attention as he entered the room. I turned quickly, reaching for the note I assumed he carried. The paper was small, the handwriting perfectly printed, as any Avox would write while the sender dictated. The punishment for confusion was too risky for messy handwriting.

_Noticed you haven't had a ditch day in a little more then a month. Might be a record for you. I stole the dad's key to the training center. Meet you there?_

It didn't matter that he didn't sign it. There was only one person in the world that would ditch with me to break into the training center for no purpose. I stared in the mirror, seeing bags packed for the tour. I missed the last day of term to leave for the Victory district every year, which was in two days. Was there really a point to a ditch day? Yet, pointless opportunities were my favorite.

"Take him my reply." I waited only a moment for the Avox to grab his pad and pen. "Sure. Warm up before I get there or I'll beat you to a pulp." I paused for another moment, walking to my closet to grab clothes to exchange for my blazer. "You may go." I waved the Avox away and he darted from the room swiftly. I followed him less then a moment later, after I slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans with an orange tank top under a emerald green sweater.

Voices filled the hall from my father's office as I tried to race pass the door, yet they stopped suddenly as Crane caught sight of me. "There she is. Don't you usually pop your head in here before heading out for school in the morning?" He was right, on most mornings I did. On most mornings I wasn't sneaking out early without my blazer.

"Your fiddle sounded good, my rose. Don't you have some more time before school starts? I thought something might be up when you stopped playing so soon." Papa joined Crane at the doorway beckoning me inside the office. I couldn't help but glance up at the ceiling in annoyance. It was the price I had to pay for getting the room right above. Papa offered for me to switch when I was younger, but I always liked it as a little girl. At night, when I could hear voices from below after waking from a bad dream I just had to tap the floor a few times loudly and he would send everyone home to come upstairs and hold me.

"I thought I would run down to the kitchens and get some juice or something. I'm just thirsty and anything I had in my room wasn't that appealing." Papa raised his eyebrow softly, eyeing me carefully. The kitchens were the opposite way, and I would never go myself if I could send an Avox. I smiled playfully as he walked to the speaking tube and asked for a glass of orange juice to be brought to his office.

From the chair's angle, I could tell which one of the two across from my father's seat that Crane had occupied and made a beeline for it, pushing his papers towards the second one before grabbing the top piece.

"Hunger Games 74, classified document." I read it out loudly, laughing as Crane hurried to shush me. Both men took their seats again as I continued to flip through the papers.

"Alright, that's enough preview Miss. Snow. I don't need you sharing all my secrets while on the tour." Crane grabbed the stack, pushing them sloppily into a briefcase.

"Oh Seneca, who would I tell?"

"Just those crazy mentors, and Abernathy especially." I glanced at my father, seeing his face in the usual state whenever someone brought up Haymitch's friendship with me. His lips were set in a strong scowl, but his eyes gleamed as though there wasn't anything better in the world.

"You're starting planning early. Usually nothing crosses Papa's desk for the next Games until after the tour." I crossed my legs as the Avox entered to drop off my juice. I took it quickly; shaking my head to tell her I required nothing more.

"We do have a Quell after this one. That takes extreme planning even before the rule change is announced. I thought I should get a head start. It would be nice to be working on the next Game before this one starts for once."

I slurped at my juice, tapping the floor constantly with my foot. "You seem anxious." Papa peered at me once more, trying to decipher what was on my mind.

"Keith was the same way last night. You all get your term grades back today, don't you?" I nodded, playing along with the lie Crane made for me without even knowing.

"Really? You never worry about school."

"Oh Papa. Mother is so keen that I do well this term that I really did put in effort and I would just like to see it pay off."

He still didn't seem to believe me, yet he responded gleefully. "Someone must get this on camera. December Snow is admitting to caring about her schoolwork." I laughed along with him as the door opened and Mr. Broderson walked in. "Run along. I don't want to make you late."

I leaned over the desk to get a kiss on the forehead before bounding from the room. "Don't tell me that was December skipping out to school on time. It was the strangest thing this morning. Darren was fully dressed by breakfast with his bag packed and left right away saying he wanted to get to class early so he could…" Mr. Broderson's voice drifted off and I knew both he and my father had put the truth together. I raced from the hall before either had time to call me back.

Darren had left the door slightly ajar and I slipped through quietly. There was always a few Avox at least in the training center during off-season, ones whose sole job was to keep out intruders and keep the gamemakers undisturbed.

I stayed close to the foyer walls, creeping along the right side of the room to a door leading down a back way to the training room. Once through, I shuddered anyway any chance of being seen, as the Avoxes never thought someone could get in this far. Most people couldn't, since their parents didn't have keys.

Darren stood in the center of the room, tossing knives at an archery target. "Hurry up and get out those swords. I want to beat you today." He waved his hand towards the spear rack and I walked over swiftly, opening the bottom trunk that was built into the floor. Few tributes ever noticed it there, and the ones who did were always rewarded in the arena somehow. I grabbed the two swords, pulling the cloth away from them and sliding one across the floor to Darren.

I wrapped my hand around the hilt, eyes glancing down the blade to make sure it was still sharp. The balance felt right, like an extension of my arm just as much as a fiddle bow. "Arm yourself."

"I've been here almost an hour. It's only fair you get your chance to warm up too." He picked up the blade slowly, twisting it in his hands. I stopped for a moment, just long enough to pull of my sweater before lunging forward.

He blocked the first blow fast, twisting the sword underneath my own in hopes of an attack move. Metal clanged against metal, sweat breaking out over our entire bodies. I could feel my pony tail whip against my face, watching Darren's eyes change from playful enjoyment to determination.

"Do you really think you have a chance of beating me?" I laughed as he grunted in response, his sole focus on the swords. Starting to feel sore in my left arm, I disarmed him quickly, leaving a panting boy down on the floor with a sword at his throat.

"I'll practice while your gone so I can beat you on our trip to 67." He sneered as I let him up.

"Be careful boy, or one day I'll just slit your throat."

"You wouldn't dare." He smiled for a moment before I shoved him back down.

"Try me." I pushed the blade tip towards his throat again, eyes cold as stone.

A slight cough came from the door and I turned quickly following Darren's gaze. Crane leaned in the doorframe and I wanted to hurl. "Your fathers told me that if I happened to see you two on your ditch day, suggesting I would find you here, to let you know they've decided to have a bonding day with each of you. However, it's a good thing they have separate plans considering you are both literally at each other's throat. Put the swords back before you go. I don't want them laying around by accident when we get tributes." Message delivered, he turned to leave but I knew an Avox would be told to tail us home. He couldn't afford us not showing up.

Darren placed the swords back, glancing once at the other stations. "Don't you dare brag about winning today. We didn't get a chance to do anything else and you know I would have won."

"Hard to believe that someone who can't lift a single piece of metal can de anything else. Maybe that's why they don't allow you on the tour." I stuck out my tongue as we shut the door behind us, walking through the center's dark halls.

"I hope something bad happens to you on the tour. Maybe I'll even pray for it."

"Try it, it won't possibly work." We both broke out in laughter before I pushed open the center door and sunlight streamed inside.


	14. What Do You Want From Me?

**Special thanks goes to Howlyn for all the awesome reviews! (Hopefully some answers to your questions will be in here)**

Chapter 14: What Do You Want From Me?

_Hey slow it down whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Yeah i'm afraid whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_-Adam Lambert_

"Lady December, we will be at District 12 in a few minutes."

"Thank you. When we arrive tell anyone who wishes to see me that I will only take visitors here on the train. I would also like dinner here, as I do not wish to attend the dinner 12 has prepared."

"Very well. I shall pass these orders along right away." I shut the door crossing over to the room's mirror and sitting down on the small bench in front. I sighed deeply, closing my eyes as my finger unwound the towel from my head. Silently, I brushed through the strands with the drying brush, frightened to look.

The train rolled to a stop and I stood, gaze avoiding the mirror as I grabbed the clothes laid out on the bed, tucking my hair under a cloth winter hat.

"Lady December," Another knock pounded on the door as I scrambled around the room. "A Highmitch Ab..."

"Hay-mitch you fool. With an a! Say ah, then hay." The door flew open and he burst into the room, slamming it shut behind him. "Humph. Lady December, I can't take you seriously every time they say it."

"It's an outskirts thing that I'll never understand. At least Papa doesn't supply the train with Avoxes alone. Notes do get ever so annoying after a few months. How are you, Highmitch?" I sneered lightly as he threw a pillow my way.

He said nothing, taking a seat across from the bed, which I plopped on to. His eyes were tired, large black rings underneath them. Light stubble trickled across his face and I could smell the liquor on his jacket.

"Do I take it the fact you are meeting me on the train means you heeded my advice for once?"

"Which advice? The one where I'm not supposed to associate with the Districts or the part where I need to try harder in case I take my brother's place?" I sat up straight, leaning forward to meet his dark gaze.

"They go together little one, both are there to keep you safe when you want to be stupid. Tell me you aren't leaving this train in 11."

"Fine. I'm not leaving the train."

"You're lying. I can see it in your eyes."

I looked away from him, "There's nothing from stopping me from doing so. You'll just have to trust me."

Haymitch sprung to his feet, crossing the distance in two steps. "You trust me, little one. It's not the other way around."

I swung my feet to stand, still coming up a head shorter. "There are a lot of things I can't anymore. What about Cory? You keep saying he will get better, and then you say I need to be ready in case he never is. What kind of trust does that create?"

"Think about it. I'm positive one of those is in the future." He snickered, walking back to his chair. "Aren't I the one who thought you not to make a bet unless you were sure?"

"No. That was my father."

"Well look at that. We do have something in common. Alert the press, this is a once in a lifetime finding." He smiled, meeting my eyes softly. "Or maybe not. There is one other thing."

"What is it Haymitch?" My patience was thin already; he had a way of doing that.

"We both have you." He stood once more, before kneeling down in front of me and taking my hands. "We are the only two people in the entire world who can see past that stupid hard shell you wear, and you're the only one who can see past our's."

I stayed silent, unsure of the moment. Yet, this was how we were constantly. In a moment, bickering became caring and affection changed to full out shouting in an instant. The soft moments were the ones to play for whatever they were worth.

He produced a thin box from his pocket. "It's not much, little one. Nothing good is available in the District, but happy belated 15th birthday. I'm sorry I didn't call on the 4th."

"My birthday is August 18th, Haymitch. It's been years and you still think it's the 4th." I smiled lightly, untying the box strings slowly. "And there was no way for you to call, as I seem to remember you disconnected your phone three years back." He laughed, helping with a knot my fingers found unbreakable. The wrappings fell away, and I opened the lid to be greeted by thick dark green yarn. I tugged on it lightly, removing a single glove from the box, noticing red roses embroidered on the cuff.

"Haymitch! They are beautiful!" I removed the second glove to find a matching knitted hat as well. "How could you have possibly gotten these in 12?"

"It's amazing what talents show up when a bit of money is offered. A woman named Hazelle runs a laundry business in the seam and when I stopped in and mentioned I needed a present for someone, she suggested something like this and offered to make it. I came up with the design and colors though.

"I don't know what I am more surprised about, the fact you managed to pull this off, or the fact you remember to get your clothes washed." I laughed as he tossed the box in my face.

"Alright, that's enough. Now, how was the Capitol faring without me?" Haymitch moved to sit beside me on the bed, and I carefully rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's boring without the Games. Mother constantly throws foolish parties and papa makes me sit in on his meetings to keep him entertained when I'm not in school." I paused for a moment before continuing on. "Haymitch, do you think there is a God?"

"A God? Like some master mind watching us all in the sky?"

"I guess. Our special unit this term was religion, all about the different kinds of Gods and how they used to pray and stuff, way before the Dark Days. You think it could be true?"

"Of course not. The last thing we all need is another game maker in our lives."

I thought of Crane, imagining his face blown up and hovering in the sky as he played with a bunch of buttons. "That's what Macey Kieger said. Then why do certain things happen we can't control?"

He was silent, turning his head to look down at mine and wrapping my hand in his palm. "I don't know, little one. You must think it could be true, considering all the questions."

"Of course I don't. I'm no fool." That was the truth, but I always had questions. My parents would never answer them and Penninger expected me to be her star student, which only left Haymitch.

"No more of this. You aren't supposed to bring it up outside of school. Try on your hat and gloves. I want to see them before I go."

I stood abruptly, placing a hand on the edge of the hat I already wore. "It's fine. They look so pretty in the book, no sense ruining the hat with my ugly face." I backed away slowly as he came forward.

"It's not like you to deny anything pretty. What did you do? Get a haircut you don't like?" Haymitch sneered as he caught the hat before pulling it away from my head.

Red strands burst from confinement, splattering against my skin, as his eyes grew wide. He backed away slowly, bumping into the edge of the bed and falling into a sitting position. I glanced in the mirror, seeing the full head of red hair and only recognizing myself in my eyes, and the ember stone reflecting in the light. In the reflection I could see him still watching me, jaw dropped and eyes full of disbelief.

"You dyed your hair." Haymitch stood slowly, crossing the room and anger flashing in his eyes. "Why the hell did you dye it?"

"You said I needed to be careful! No one will recognize me once I take the gem out tomorrow! I'll be free to see the District on my own terms and no one else's."

His hands grabbed the collar of my shirt, pushing me against the vanity, the wood edge digging into my lower spine. "Does your father know what you did? Does he know you died it red?"

For a moment I couldn't tell if his agitation came from the color or the dye in general, but I decided not to care. "People in the Capitol do weird things all the time, it's completely normal to experiment…"

"I said, does he know!" He pushed me harder against the vanity, eyes even with mine and the stench of liquor thick on his breath.

"No. I just did it today on the train. I didn't tell him."

"Get rid of it now. Make everything blond, even that stupid strand. Look like the girl you are supposed to be."

"Stop thinking you have control over me, Haymitch Abernathy!" My shove on his chest surprised him enough to force him a few steps back. One word and I could make your darkest fears come true."

"And what are those fears, do you think? Have you ever thought that maybe your father has made them come true?" He continued to eye my hair, backing slowly to the door. "I keep a fucking photo album of my family because that's all I have left."

"None of that is my fault! You've said so yourself, Finnick has said so! Make up your mind about who I am, because if you don't then there is no way I can be that girl for you."

"If only you knew, little one. I've had my mind made up for years." Haymitch tossed open the door, banging it shut as he stomped away, leaving me to sink down to the floor, crying and clasping a single glove as though it was the only worth something thing I had left.

**Please Review! And guess what? A certain District 11 you all know who gets to appear next chapter ;) (Sadly I leave to go out of town in two days so it might not be up for a while- I promised my parents all my summer homework would be done before we go so tomorrow will be busy)**


	15. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?

**Authors Note: Back from vacation guys! Good news is that school starts next week and that's the time of year I do the most writing! This update is for Secretlya Ninja who gave a very nice review right as I was doing my final edit on this!**

_Are you gonna kiss me or not_

_Are we gonna do this or what_

_I think you know I like you a lot_

_But you're 'bout to miss your shot_

_Are you gonna kiss me or not_

_-_Thompson Square

**Chapter 15: Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?**

The final drops of makeup filled my scar as the train rolled to a stop. Someone knocked on my door, alerting me we had arrived in District 11. Would I like a peacekeeping escort or did I prefer to stay on the train? Shall they bring me dinner in a little bit? I replied that I was fine and heard footsteps walking away from the door. Quickly, I slipped on the new gloves and hat, making sure the red hair showed.

Microphones blasted noise from the district town square and I opened the compartment door quietly, slipping away with no one eyes turned on me.

He was waiting just like promised. For a moment, I just stopped, taking in his lean frame leaning against the same doorway where I last saw him. His dark skin shone against the lightly frostbitten ground, eyes gleaming in the sun. Thresh's jacket was light with a tear at the cuff but he didn't look cold as I wrapped my own tighter.

His eyes passed over me once before stopping to stare as I walked closer.

In the thickest Capitol accent I could manage I was the first to speak. "Could you help me? My father is working on the train for the tour and said I could explore the District. I do not know where to go."

He smiled wide as he looked into my eyes, reaching out a hand to take my own. "Of course. Shall we go out to the fields?" I nodded, desperate to snuggle up against him once more while we walked but I knew we had to get out of town.

"So, what shall I call you?"

"Ember." I answered flatly, checking that no one was close enough to hear us. "I might forget to respond to anything else."

He just squeezed my hand, walking on and speaking in whispers. "I thought for months that I had imagined it all, that it was all a dream and then I saw you standing in front of me without your gem and your hair dyed and for a moment I was convinced none of it was true. But then I saw you past the disguise and something flipped inside of me. Tell me it was the same for you."

Thresh pulled me down a side path and into a row of bare orchard trees. "No one comes this way during the winter. We are safe." He pulled the hat from my head, running his fingers through the red strands. "The color suits you. All the blond in your family gets a bit much for me." His head flung back in laughter, pushing me into the small shed on the path.

There was a blanket spread on the floor, a picnic basket in the middle and a few candles around the edge to light the dark area. "You never answered my question. I asked you if it was the same."

As I nodded, I realized for the first time the pain that had been growing while waiting to see him again. I thought of every moment my day dreams turned to him. "It was. It really was." He pulled me against him in the floor, so close I could feel every breath he took as the tears started to fall.

"Don't cry. This is beautiful, that's what these feelings are and nothing more. We are lucky, my sweet." A steady finger wiped the drops from my face.

"And it's stupid. I'm always stupid. It's not possible." Tears dried as frustration filled my soul. I pushed myself into situations constantly, ones that were pointless to even conceive.

"Have you ever thought that maybe Fate has already made it possible? We met for a reason. Maybe it's a sign that things will soon change for the better."

"Don't tell me you're one of those religion freaks hiding in the Districts. There is no fate, there is nothing controlling this, except my father and his advisors. That's how fate is determined. Trust me when I say that they have not made it possible." His lips pressed against my forehead, and I sighed at the soft touch.

"You have. Don't deny the power you have as a birthright. That's what you used to get here and wander the district the night we met. You can make anything possible if you play your cards right."

I lifted my hand to silence him. "Not now Thresh, please. I have no wish to think of Capitol politics."

"You don't have the luxury to ever stop." He lifted my chin so again our eyes met. "Everything you do is creating a new future."

"You sound like Haymitch." I mumbled under my breath softly but he heard me anyways.

"The district 12 mentor? And what is it that he says that brings him to your memory as I hold you in my arms?" For a moment his eyes flashed in anger, and I thought he might be jealous.

"None of the sweet words you give me or the soft touches. He only ever speaks of my family." I paused for a minute, realizing it was all information too dangerous to share. Yet, as I peered at the moss covered walls and the peace surrounding us, I had never felt safer. "He tells me that Cory can't succeed my father, I have to become his heir." Never had I ever stated it so simply, and the simplicity frightened me.

"You have every right. This isn't a patriarchal society like in the old days. Inheritance should be based on worth, not gender."

"That's not true, even in the Districts. Who will the baker in the town here leave his shop to? His eldest son. When a woman marries she leaves her family's occupation to go to her husbands. Perhaps you don't sense it in the fields as much, though I've never heard of a father taking care of the baby while its mother works the fields, but it's there all the same. I'm last in line, I always will be. Cory is a boy, and May is the eldest girl, Haymitch is stupid to think it could ever be me." I picked up a bread roll, ripping off a corner to jam in my mouth. Admittance felt good, weights lifted from my chest as Thresh wrapped his arms tighter.

"It's alright, my sweet. Hush, for your burden is heavy and now is a chance to get away from it all."

"My burden? What burden do I possibly have, when others even in the Capitol go starving and I am taught foolish subjects simply because I have no other work to do. My burden is not yours, and nor will it ever be. Tell me Thresh, how long did you save bites of food for this one day? How many tessare do you have?"

His eyes darkened slowly, a finger wiping a tear from my face. "Nothing I can't handle. At least I don't play two lives instead of just living one. Do not pity me when there is so much of your life I could never desire. You fight yourself above all, I see it now and I see it on the screen. Tell me, my dear, if you had thirty seconds to cancel the Games forever, would you?"

I forced my gaze away; trying to imagine the moment when I would make the decision he wanted above all. It was their penance for their ancestor's actions, as we are rewarded for the work of our own. Lives in the Capitol focus on the games, the calendar revolves around them and so many people make their livelihood that way. The rich take their vacations, the poor outskirts still celebrating in their own parties. I thought of Cory's future, one that could be in ruins without the discipline of the Games. And I knew that would be my thirty seconds, though I cringed while I shook my head no.

"It's the way you were raised, there is no reason you should feel any other way. But there are things where you do, where part of your heart disagrees with your head more then anyone else. You can't help but hate yourself because of it. That is your burden, and I shall always remember my own blessings."

My pride was too high for pity from others, yet this was different and it would take years to understand for myself the things he knew just by looking in my eyes. As Thresh brushed away tears, I felt the makeup filling in my scar slowly wash away, and then he kissed it. Just soft lips brushing against it and nothing more.

"So this is the secret of December Snow's gem. How did you scar yourself so bad young enough that we all remember you always wearing that stone?"

I rubbed a finger along the side of my face, feeling the tiny dip. "Papa tells a story about it, but I was too little to remember for myself. He says I never liked being held, even at one day old. Into those first few months he and my mother would hold May like a china doll, while Papa would have to dangle me by a leg to even get close. One day, at barely a month old, we were getting check ups by the doctor and when Our nursemaid handed me to the doctor and in the moment between their hands I squirmed and knocked my head on a glass bottle that shattered. My mother wanted to get it fixed, but Papa said it only helped me live up to my name. May is the month of the games, a victory for the Capitol as in the first born child, but December is when the ones who never stopped fighting are left standing."

Thresh laughed with me, still resting his finger on it. "I'm glad that Snow left it. It's beautiful just alone, without the gem. It reminds that beneath the thick layer there is something more delicate inside." He kissed my forehead and handed me an apple. "Dare I ask why they died a strand of hair red?"

"Anyone could tell the moment we were born that May and I were nothing alike. It was Papa's doing as well, he wanted to make sure we always recognized as different, no matter how much mother tries to dress us the same."

"I doubt your sister would even imagine sitting here in a District boys arms, and here you are."

"There was a time when I wouldn't have dreamed it either, but now I'm not giving it up for anything."

"Then kiss me, December Snow. Don't let me dare think this is just my dream and in a few minutes I'm going to wake up. Kiss me like we have nothing to hide and that this means more then anything in the world. It's now or never for the likes of us." His eyes glistened, a playful smirk on his face as he leaned in to me.

Yet I pulled him in closer, banishing any space between us as our lips met, a soft touch turning into a lock never designed to be opened again. I felt his fingers weaving through my hair and I just tightened my grip around his torso. This was meant to be, it was too perfect to not be real.

And a little voice in the back of my head knew one thing; there was no turning back now.

**Hope you enjoyed this long chapter! Please review!**


	16. Don't Think I Can't Love You

_So, girl, I can't buy you a big diamond ring_

_No house on a hill full of life's finer things_

_And I'll tell you right now there's a whole lot that I just can't do_

_Oh, but baby, don't think I can't love you_

-Jake Owen

**Chapter 16: Don't Think I Can't Love You**

I hated the sounds of train whistles, shrieks piercing through the air and pushing between our lips as we lay on the shed floor, watching the sunset in crimson lights. "My sweet, you have to go."

"No, that's just to say the Victor is leaving the train for dinner." I closed my eyes, snuggling my body close to him once more.

"December," Cold hit my back as he leaned away, caressing my chin to look straight at his face. "That was the whistle an hour ago. Then you said once the next one sounded you would have to go."

"Bloody 13, how could I have forgotten?" I reach for the green knitted hat, Thresh taking it from my hands to smooth the hair under.

"Don't think I want to see you go, but we must." He stood slowly, taking my hand to bring me to my feet before blowing out the candles. "Trina and Grandmother would have liked to see you. Trina's pregnant, just found out a few days ago and she's due a bit after the Games."

"How could you not have brought this up before? That's so exciting! Tell her that I think she'll be a great mother." His hand clasped mine tighter, squeezing lightly with every breath. He stayed silent, looking off into the distance. For some reason, it wasn't a topic he wanted to discuss anymore. "Thresh?" His response was just a soft grunt. "What do you watch on the television?"

"The mandatory programming, and anything having to do with you. Grandmother watches in the morning to tell me when I might have a chance to see you." He stopped walking, turning so I could see his eyes clearly and note the smile on his face. "No matter how much I pretend, it's nothing like touching you right now. You're too different on there."

I laughed, not knowing what else to do. "I don't know how I can ever get in front of a camera again if I know you might be watching."

"Always, not might. I wouldn't miss a moment of your face for the world. I'm always watching, my sweet." I nestled my face against his chest, simply wanting to take enough of his touch to remember it.

"It's not fair. I never get to see you, or even hear your voice. All I have is right now."

"Unless I take a Capitol internship." He said it so suddenly I lost my footing and fell straight on my face. "December!" He knelt quickly, helping me back up.

"Don't you dare think about Thresh Frawley! Those jobs are miserable, increase game chances and most of those boys never make it into a real job afterwards."

"I could be in the Capitol at least, find a way that we could see each other." He looked desperate, his eyes searching mine.

The Capitol internships were a crazy concept, even to Capitol citizens. A district child over fifteen could opt to triple their chances in the reaping in exchange for a life outside the district in the Capitol. The boys were put to hard labor, most girls ending up as street sweepers in the lower town. At twenty, you were granted freedom to live in the Capitol, but no one hired district kids. Those kids always ended up moving from lower town homes that were charitable under they died from starvation or raised enough money to get a train back to their district. The Capitol officials tried to sell it off as a great chance, but everyone knew it was a scam. Few even dreamed of considering it these days, only 1 every ten years or so taking up the offer.

"You asked me if I believed in God, December Snow. That answer is yes. If it wasn't for God, I wouldn't love you this much if it wanted for some higher being. Something brought us together, and all you need to do is say the word that you don't feel the same and I'll go away like I should."

"Thresh! Stop it!" Tears started falling from my eyes as I worked to decipher his hidden meaning, understand the reason was his eyes were flashing from cold to warm.

"What life is this creating for you back home? You have thousands of options, so why pick me? That son of your father's advisor would make things much easier for you."

_Darren. _I froze, words echoing in my mind. _I'm always watching, my sweet. _I racked my brain trying to remember the latest clips of me on the screen, and grimaced as I remembered one a week or two ago.

_I tapped my foot impatiently on the stone steps of CP, anxious to get away from the camera and the boy to my right. The interview woman was asking questions for a clip on education or something that they wanted to rub in the faces of the districts. I copied Darren's public smile, flashing my teeth and making some remark about the way we were passed out new pens every week. She asked another question; yet this wasn't one of the usual how many ways are we better than the districts questions. _

_ "So, what is the social scene like for you two at school? Of course, you are both famous in Panem and our viewers want to know how that effects you in this building of remarkable children like yourselves. Since your fathers are so close, is there ever any pressure for the two of you to be closer?" Her eyes sparkled and I wanted to hit her in the face. _

_ "All our fellow students are friends and family. They know December and I are close enough, right Ember?" He took my hand and I looked at him curiously before realizing he had saved me in front of the camera and I felt my lips rise into a large smile of thanks. Yet, no one else could understand exactly why I was happy._

I sighed, trying to decide how to handle things with Thresh. How could he think I loved that violent monster the same way I cared for him?

"Tell me it's not true, what all those reporters say about the two of you. That you are destined to get engaged after school, that you are inseparable and are often cutting classes on the same days."

"We cut class together, but because I want to run him through with a sword and I haven't been able to succeed yet. Thresh, that's all it will ever be." For once, I was the one reaching up to stroke his face and I stretched on my tip-toes to kiss his lips. He didn't move, except to stroke to collar of my coat.

"If everything worked out between us, if they let us be together it still wouldn't work. I couldn't pay for a coat like this, we barely have enough to feed ourselves not to mention take care of a baby in seven months. I can't give you the life you were born for." I cursed myself for wearing what made me look pretty instead of simpler garb. I opened my mouth to speak but he hushed me. "I do have one thing that doesn't cost me any money, and that's my love for you. I can always afford that if you will accept that is all I have to give."

The tears continued to fall out of happiness, a smile returned to my face as we walked towards the train I could now see. "That's all I'll ever ask you for." He swept me back into his arms, standing there in the middle of an empty street as his lips pushed against mine and my whole body felt elated above control.

When I opened my eyes, I gasped and pull away. Seeder was leaning against a light post, arms crossed over her chest. "December Snow, get on the train now. Some peacekeepers just realized you aren't in your compartment. You better convince them it was just a short walk."

I nodded, understanding our time was up. Thresh squeezed my hand before letting go and cold air whipped against the now exposed skin. I tried not to look back as I walked to the train, only hearing Seeder speak to Thresh. "Frawley, you better come with me so we can figure some things out."

When I turned, they were both gone. I lifted my chin and walked to the train with a light skip in my step, remembering the feel of his lips on mine.

The peacekeepers took it as simple innocence, and that's what I let them believe. How could they guess the sin it hid instead?

**School is finally starting to settle down and I'm back in a schedule so I really hope that I can get a lot more writing in now!**

**Please review! **


	17. I'd Lie

_His favorite color's green_

_He likes to argue_

_Born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you ask me if I love him..._

_I'd lie_

-Taylor Swift

**Chapter 17: I'd Lie**

The train rolled steadily deeper into Panem, away from District 11. I lay on my bed, imagining stars glistening on the ceiling as the light from the window diminished while the sun fell below the horizon. My dinner lay untouched on the table since it was brought in.

My fingers ran through the ends of my hair, trying to feel his touch one more time. Closing my eyes, I pictured his sweet face smiling at me again, laughing at my red hair. Someone was laughing in the train hallway and I grinned like a fool, remembering his laugh. Images flashed in my mind, everything from my first glance in the darkness, playing the fiddle during sunset and kissing in alleyways.

I stood slowly, reaching for my fiddle case. I ran the bow against the tips of my fingers, my whole body tingling as I pressed my fingers against the strings, playing a soft love ballad from the Dark Days. I thought of the little book of music Darren and I grabbed the time we broke into the files at age eight, the only time we ever managed to get in. I memorized every song to play when no one else was around, hiding the book in one of the Palace storerooms.

I loved him. It just hit my square on the chest as I played the ballad thinking of him. I loved Thresh Frawley. I yelped in excitement, tossing the fiddle back into its case lightly and flinging myself on the bed once more. I loved him, but I couldn't tell anyone. I knew so much of him, but to the world we must be complete strangers. I had lied before, but how could I about this feeling inside me? How could I lie about something that just felt beautiful?

It wasn't fiery or mind controlling. It was peaceful and calming, shown in the soft gestures he used to comfort me and the way he gazed into my eyes. I wanted nothing more then to reach for the smooth skin of his hands and feel the hard calluses against my cheek. However, I still felt a fire inside me, burning my very chest as I smiled foolishly in the confines of my compartment.

I sought to understand these feelings, describe the gleeful emotion boiling through my skin. Though words flashed in my mind, bringing back a week of drills on love, definitions from the Home Life textbook. _Lust;_ an intense feeling of desperate want that lasts a night or two, a relationship unworthy of marriage or such because there is no change in one's social status for the better and therefore is banned for higher level citizens. _Marriage Duty; _relationships formed for society's betterment, in both the individual and Capitol as well. An ultimate sacrifice made constantly by the social elite. _Love; _a mutual feeling between a man and woman that may result or even lead to Marriage duty, a simple stroke of luck for many and nothing to base a home on.

By definition, Thresh was my lust, my fleeting desire that could never amount to anything. Though, I couldn't imagine it ever going away, the feeling I had for him fading like the sun at dusk. He was there, his words in my ears and touch on my lips, as though if those small touches and whispers were gone I would no longer be whole. If that was lust, then what was love?

Was it the cold yet sweet touches of my parents, the way Papa would reach for Mother's hand and she would take it without looking at him, turning her head away when he bent to whisper in her ear? Was it the way Mr. Broderson patted his wife on the head when she spoke any words of endearment, and said nothing in return.

_"Papa?" My small hands tried to fill his as he held it in the corner of the ballroom._

_"Yes, my rose? What troubles you so this evening? I thought you were excited for your first late night party." He smiled lightly, following my gaze across the room to Mother, her arm around May as they spoke to some high-class citizen or another._

"_Does Mother love me?" My five-year-old voice was small, quiet enough that my father had to lean in so his ear was next to my mouth. I repeated my question once more. "Does Mother love me?"_

_He snapped upright in surprise, a solemn grin taking over his face as he stroked my strand of red hair and looked straight in my eyes. "My rose, of course she does. I love you, you know that." I nodded, light tears forming in my eyes. "And I love your mother, and she loves me. When we love, we love the loved ones of the other so of course your mother loves you."_

It took me years to see the difference between her loving me because papa did, and her loving me as her own beloved daughter. By then, I had gone so long thinking her coldness was the only way she knew how to show me love, that I no longer cared. I had Papa, which years had taught me was something May did not.

The word lust felt dirty on my lips, terrible and forbidden above all, something of the lower Districts and not worth my time. Love sounded more free, more caring and respectful. My heart raced in my chest, confusion wrapping around my every muscle so tight I could barely move my fingers.

Something forbidden or something worthy of awe. I knew which one it was, and which one I wanted it be. My brother's face flashed through my mind, future family portraits in the paper in which three powerful families were represented; all through my father's three children. We owed it to each other; we owed it to the success of my brother's presidency and to fill the legacy of my father.

_My lips squished together in a tight scowl as the Avox tried to brush through my hair while I waited impatiently in Papa's office for the news feed about to be shot. _

"_Smile, my rose. The boys of the Capitol won't like you very much if you get on camera not smiling with your hair in a mess." At ten, I could have cared less about boys and remained silent, narrowing my eyes to glare at him. "Well, if you want to be difficult then go ahead. Any boy would be a fool not to want you anyhow."_

"_Am I really that pretty Papa?"_

"_To me, yes child. Now, give it a few years and you'll see that there are a good amount who will want you just because you are my daughter. The boy you pick to marry will have his whole life changed for the better."_

"_Are there any boys who would make _my_ life better?" Papa laughed, taking my hand as the camera men announced they were ready. _

"_No, but a fair few who would make things easier for your brother when he is President."_

"_I think I'll want one of those, then."  
>"And what about a boy you love?" His face grew serious, kneeling down for a moment to meet my eyes.<em>

_I shook my head no, with a smile, never imagining falling in love. "Did you marry mother for love, Papa?"_

_He looked thoughtful, standing slowly and walking me towards the camera. "That was part of it, my rose. Definitely a part of it."_

For a moment, I knew it didn't matter if he was Capitol or not. All that matter was he wasn't the one my family needed. If someone ever asked me if I knew Thresh Frawley, I'd have to look him or her in the eye and lie. Sighing, I walked towards the bathroom to wash the dye from my hair.

**Hope you enjoyed! Sorry that it was a good 400 words shorter than normal!**


	18. Slipping Through My Fingers

**Chapter 18: Slipping Through My Fingers**

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

_I try to capture every minute_

_The feeling in it slipping through my fingers all the time_

_Do I really see what's in her mind_

_Each time I think I'm close to knowing_

_She keeps on growing_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

_-_ABBA

"What in the world is going on?" I walked into Cory's room, shooing the Avox towards my room to drop off my bag. Clothes covered his bed, a seamstress measuring him in the middle of the room while Mother stood watching carefully and May sprawled on the couch flipping through a boy's fashion magazine. "You better be careful, Cory, or you'll have more clothes then May."

He smiled, and I ignored the seamstress as I rushed to hug my baby brother. "Glad your home."

"Me too. I missed you." I ruffled his hair before noticing the navy blue blazer he was being sized for. "So you've finally decided to go with your idea of being a CP student for the costume festival. Problem is, little brother, anyone past the closest families and they will assume you already go there."

"You should go down to the classroom with the kids my age when term starts tomorrow. I might just be there." In panic, I looked towards mother who was smiling, saying nothing against his words.

We never allowed him to believe the impossible, we weren't a family to live with We never allowed him to believe the impossible, we weren't a family to live with false hopes. Power, no matter how secure, will topple in a moment if a single card is played at slightly the wrong angle. In this family, each of us grew up knowing that everyday so naturally we learned what was possible and what was not. Cory couldn't risk being seen weak by anybody, couldn't risk having some junior advisor remembering that weakness of his childhood. They heard, we had no way to avoid that overtime. They must never see.

"I'm serious December, I'm starting school this term."

"Cory..." I stammered, waiting for someone to step in. "That's impossible. Don't you dare let father hear you utter a word such as that."

"Now, my own children better not be speaking treason to this democratic government we happily live in." Father laughed as he entered the room, tucking a red rose into my hair. "Welcome back, my rose." He kissed me on the forehead, yet I couldn't manage a smile. "What is wrong?"

I looked at Cory tauntingly, smiling cruelly as if to ask if he would tell our father or should I. "December doesn't believe me that I'm starting at CP this term."

"And why wouldn't you?" Father turned on me quickly, and I just stared back in disbelief.

"Why? Is it all worth the risk, papa?" May, Cory and Mother just watched me simply, while father eyed me acidly.

"The doctors have declared him healthy, with no attacks in three months. It's time he got to know other boys." He silently willed me to retort, yet I remained silent. "I want everyone out of this room. All of you need to make ready for the party tonight. December, after you are dressed come to my office." It was not a pretend request as usual, just a forefront order. I hurried to comply.

Arriving in my room I already found it a flurry of clothes and make-up as Margarita and the prep team waited for me. "About time you got here."

"Papa wants to see me before the party starts. We'll need to be quick."

"Then sit yourself in that chair," She gestured to the bottle and container covered vanity table. "And don't make a sound. Tia, starts her make-up please and Beanie get her hair brushed out for me. I need to finish a few things on the dress." The two nodded and set to work.

Though to me it felt like eternity, Margarita assured me only thirty minutes had past by the time I stood in front of my room's full length mirror, admiring her handiwork as always. "How do you never run out of ideas for me?"

"Design is what I do. Plus, you are too easy to please." I laughed once before leaving the room.

"Come in." I didn't have to knock for him to know I was there. No doubt he sat still simply waiting to hear my footsteps. The office was dark, curtains drawn tight and only a pair of wall sconces on by his desk. "Your behavior upstairs was unacceptable. I refuse to hear another word of you doubting your brother in anything from this moment on. Am I understood?"

I was frightened, the man behind the desk looked up only once coldly, a business man and not a father. Somberly, I nodded. "Do you know what I was doing at Cory's age? I was being taught in secret everything you learn in school now, I was being trained not only as a future leader but the future leader of this nation. My father most of all put nothing above the well being of this family, and that is something you must learn as well. Cory can not afford to have you, his own sister, saying he is not fit for public education. You must never speak out against your brother."

"Father, this is different. This..."

"Is a stepping stone to a path that must be demolished! Now it is his schooling, whose to say it won't turn to his new district policy or changes in the way this city operates? Who is to say that your beliefs will lead you to oppose him, perhaps even on the ballot." He was standing now, fist clenched on his desk as I cowered in fear.

"Never, papa, I swear. The seat of the presidency is Cory's after you, the entire Capitol knows that!"

"And do you, December Everett Snow? Do you know that not only is Cory before you to sit that in that seat? Do you ever remember your sister?" I wanted to yell yes, that I knew all of this and never thought to upset that balance. I couldn't though, since others had carefully placed those thoughts throughout the years. "You would do well to remember your place, girl. Never let me believe for a moment that you have forgotten it again."

As I nodded, he walked around the corner of his desk, the sharpness of his posture fading into the relaxed man few were allowed to see. "My little boy, he's growing up, isn't he? I'm losing all three of you slowly." I made no move towards him as he opened his arms for me. My knees were still shaking. In two strides he crossed to me. "I am sorry for frightening you, my rose. I've spent the time you gone coming to terms with the fact your brother has begun to grow up. Then I noticed how much of a young woman May has become as she sat beside your mother planning tonight's party. Somehow I think I convinced myself I still had you, my baby girl. I've never been so wrong."

If my father knew how to cry, I'm sure he would have in that moment. For a mere second, I saw a glisten of a single tear in his eyes before it disappeared. "Cory is a lot like you, the same spitfire spirit that I didn't see until recently. It was hiding behind his illness and the second he had a chance, your brother latched on to it so fast the whole house shook. He begged me to let him go, I won't pretend behind closed doors that I don't think he should go. That's why I need you to be careful what you say, for if this backfires as I fear it will we must never act as though we expected him to fail."

"He won't fail Papa, he's too much like you." My father smiled widely, leaning in to kiss me on the forehead.

"I'm getting old, December. One day I'm going to have to leave Panem in the hands of your brother and Darren Broderson. At least I know that he will always have you and May to look to for advice. I don't foresee a future where he will not listen to you two. Come, my rose, let us go join the others for the party." I took his arm as he offered it, walking with him towards the doors to the ballroom. May, Mother and Cory were waiting for us, Cory pushing away Mothers hand as she reached to feel his forehead.

"Hush Cory. I just want to check that's all." He rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand and pressing it to his face.

"There, mother. I'm fine, just as the doctor said I was. Would you like to call for a heartbeat monitor as well?" he smiled wickedly as we all watched in silence.

"That won't be necessary of course. Just promise me you'll be upstairs by ten"

"No." His voice was firmed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Mother took a slight step backwards before regaining herself. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I will be staying for the entire party tonight mother." I could only watch in sheer shock as he straightened his tie. "We should head in, they are all waiting." Cory gestured to the Avox who moved to throw open the door.

Father was right, Cory had grown up and we all missed the signs. Though something else told me I wouldn't have the control over him in the future I had always imagined. He had found his own power and was starting to like it.

Though before I could do anything else I looked in the room too see a tall, tanned woman with stark white hair. No matter how old we seemed to be, nothing stopped the three of us from running forward and embracing her warmly.

"I was starting to wonder when I would see my three favorite nieces and nephews." She smiled wide, laughing cheerfully.

"Sister, they are your only three nieces and nephews." My father joined in her laugh as she released us to grip our father's hand firmly.

"My dear brother, I just assumed these three took all my attention from the others! Surely I have another brother, for I do feel as though I see one all the time and another so little. Perhaps it is just you on the television screen when I get so confused." The entire hall laughed at her wit before turning away from our family reunion and back to whatever they had been doing before.

"Did you bring mother with you?" As Aunt Everett nodded, an icy chill infected my blood. I didn't even see here before I heard her.

"December Snow, you must watch yourself child or you'll lose the small amount of beauty you have thus far maintained." I turned to face her slowly, anger flushing my cheeks red. Before I could open my mouth, she addressed my siblings. "May, look at how beautiful you are. I can see true Snow blood in your veins. And Cory, how big and strong you have become. I see a man where there was once a boy, dear lad. Both of you must come to the rooms your father shall loan me after this party. I have gifts."

She didn't need to say anything for me to know that no shiny box with ribbon awaited me.

**Sorry for some of the problems with skipping down to the next line in the middle of a word… not sure why it's doing that… hope you enjoyed!**


	19. Those Were the Days

**Those were the days my friend,**

**We thought they'd never end,**

**We'd sing and dance forever and a day.**

**We'd live the life we choose,**

**We'd fight and never lose,**

**For we were young and sure to have our way**

_-Mary Hopkins_

**Chapter 19: Those Were the Days**

"Wake up, December! Papa told us last night to be awake for family breakfast with Grandmamma and Aunt Everett. We need to eat before school." I grumbled at my brother's voice before turning to face his eager smile.

"Maybe I'm planning to ditch school today. I'm never on time for term." He wandered over to my closet, pulling out a blazer and laying it over my vanity chair.

"Today you will be. It's my first day and you aren't going to mess it up for me. Now get out of bed." Cory said nothing else as he vanished from the room, leaving me to brave unraveling from my blankets on my own.

I dressed slowly, not bothering with anything fancy as I dreaded the morning. I longed for the day after the Victory Tour party to be the last day of term break, yet never was granted that one wish. Most of all, I dreaded to start the morning with my grandmother.

"I came to walk you down." I startled at my father's voice, pulling the brush painfully through a knot. "I assumed you would dally as long as possible on a day like today. Do try to be civil this morning to both your grandmother and your teacher. It would be a welcome surprise for both of them.

"I'll be civil as long as she is." I switched my tone to a high pitch mockery. "Oh December, you are the ugliest girl in the world. Oh December, look how pretty your sister is; I don't see how you two could be twins. Oh December sweetie, be careful not to ruin the family name."

"She has a point there." My father's speech from last night came back in a sudden flash and I clamped my mouth shut. "I know it's hard for you, but she only raised Everett and I. She's used to a girl and a boy in the house, not three in total. It's too much for her aging mind to handle." I wanted to point out there were thousands of medicines to cure an aging mind; yet desperate to comply I remained silent. "See, you are already doing much better. If you can't manage to stay silent for one single meal, at least talk to Everett. Maybe she could tell you a bit more about 67's arena for our trip with the Brodersons soon." again, I held back the urge to gag as he mentioned Darren's family. I was getting better.

"Alright Papa, I'll be good all day." I smiled sweetly as I stood from the vanity and followed him downstairs.

We walked in silence, and I shuddered as a piercing shrill echoed from the dining room upon our approach. "December, do you really need your father to get you to be on time? Can you not read a clock?" I hated her talent for speaking before I could even see her. A retort formed on my lips, yet I bit my tongue and instead offered a light good morning. She looked shock and I told myself I was doing it all for Cory.

"Where are my three lovely children?" Everett came from around the corner, her white hair wrapped elegantly on her head and wearing white pants to match it with a neon orange top.

"Oh hush Everett, you didn't go into labor twice for them. You wouldn't love those three so much after that. I'm just lucky two were in one night." My mother barely looked up from the papers dictating the success of the party.

"Well, because I've never had that experience these three are in my full love." She smiled brightly as we all settled at the table.

"You could stay in the Capitol instead of running around the Arenas. You could settle down with a nice bachelor. Name any man you have in mind, my sister, I'll make it happen."

Everett laughed, tossing back her head. "If you insist I marry, find me the oldest, sickest and wealthiest man you have. I wouldn't mind a fortune."

"If you didn't already have a fortune, you wouldn't be able to pay for all these foolish trips to the arena where you cart me around as a child." Grandmother wrinkled her nose as she sipped her coffee.

"You don't have to come, Mother. I'm thirty-nine now which I believed is old enough not to have a chaperone."

"Thirty nine? How is it that you stay so young when I am fifty two this year?"

"Being thirteen years older is nothing to gloat about Coriolanus. It just means you'll die first." Everett didn't even look up as she buttered a piece of bread, smiling sweetly.

"Be careful not to speak treason, sister."

"I shall guard my neck with my life." The two stared at each other before laughing loudly and my father rested his hand on his sister's shoulder.

"It's good to have you home. Stay with us, at least through the games. We are taking a trip to 67. I know the children would love to have you with us."

"Perhaps Mother and I will be there, but you know that I am needed all that month at the opening for 73."  
>"Well, considering I appointed you to the job I'm sure I could pull a few strings to make you available."<p>

"Nice try. I'm head of opening ceremonies for Games arenas and I intended to keep that post thank you very much." As she spoke, it was as if a light flickered on in her eye. "Cory, who are you going to give my job to once you're our president?"

My brother tilted his head to the side, thinking carefully before he peered at me, speaking my name. "December."

I laughed loudly. "Cory, I don't think that would be the job for me."

"Why not? You love visiting the arenas and there is a lot of free time to do whatever it is you do when you aren't somewhere you are supposed to be." The entire table, except Grandmother who sported a never-ending scowl, burst into laughter as I smirked.

"I would have to plan a party, brother. We all know that is not something I should ever be allowed to do. You will have to find somewhere else to put me."

"True." He seemed to ponder for a moment, confusion never leaving his face. "What do you think, papa? What job shall I give my sister?"

"Make her in charge of game media. Your sister never leaves the screens anyways, she might as well being choosing the clips to show the public." I nodded, thinking of myself standing next to all the controls in the video room, painting the year's game story all on my own.

"You are all fools. The only place right for that girl is in the home, acting like a good wife to her husband. He'll no doubt have all the power needed for that household." I clenched my fist while my grandmother spoke, desperately trying to remain quiet.

"I dare you to try keeping December locked up in a house all day. I can barely keep her in a classroom for a few hours and I'm the President of Panem, mother."

"Well, then teach your child some manners Coriolanus. I won't have any more of this business of her causing trouble. I am constantly mortified when those talk show hosts joke about pulling her out of classes for interviews, saying they would probably never even find her there. What kind of message does that send to the public?"

"She's a teenager and teenagers have to get in a bit of trouble at some point."

"She's been in enough trouble and I would say you are going soft when it comes to her. The media talks about it all the time, how much power she has over you."

"I am right here! Do not talk about me like some common fool!" I stood quickly, shoving my napkin onto the table and walking towards the door.

"Coriolanus, I have decided to accept your offer for me to live here. Everett is right; she can handle the world by herself. If I don't act soon, that bastard girl might as well poison us now."

I wanted to scream, slap her across the face and I only did not turn because I knew father's face would convince me not to, that I shouldn't be angry. Yet, I wasn't one to give up anger easily and I stormed from the dining room.


	20. 87,000 part 1

**Chapter 20: 87,000 (part 1)**

_8700 miles apart_

_That number has done damage to my heart_

_You say you're near but it feels so far_

_When we are 8700 miles apart_

_A postcard can't hold all the words I need to say_

_And I can't send my kisses through the mail_

_When you're in the sun, I'm looking at the moon_

_Why'd you have to go away so soon_

_-Gabriela Carrillo_

_Song note: Gabriela is a senior at my high school and the student director of our top choir. Check out the song on YouTube (.com/watch?v=YBEmBkCMznY&list=FLLW3MMSlDEi_AvJp4V8wYvw&index=1&feature=plpp_video) to hear the song. She's done a lot to help me with my own music and acting so please support her even half as much as you guys have supported me with this story. When she performed this the other night at a fundraiser for our school, I immediately thought of Thresh and December and knew I had to share with all of you._

Walking home was relief, a time of quiet for myself in the days of being ridiculed. Being out under the open sky reminded me of him, my District boy miles away. Yet, we were under the same sky, weren't we? The air was different, it was an air of watchful eyes and whispered words in the Capitol. Yet the sky was the same, always the same. As clouds moved, we watched them together, though we were so far apart.

A small girl sneaked to me slowly, tapping my shoulder as I jumped in surprise. "My mama has something for you. Come." Before I could catch any detail except her outskirts clothing, she dashed away towards a small park that was empty on the cloudy day. She approached a equally poor dressed woman standing in the shadows of a tree branch and I followed her carefully, checking around for any other signs that this was not a usual day.

Her mother peered at me beneath hooded eyes, never blinking as I approached. She only motioned me closer so she could practically whisper in my ear. "Inside the tree is a letter. Have your response here in two weeks. Don't come yourself, only send someone you trust."

"Who are you?" She said nothing, took her daughter's hand, and disappeared. Before anyone else caught notice of me, I reached my hand into the tree, clasping a crinkled envelope. The air felt thick, as though I had to push through layers of fear. Nothing made sense, nothing seemed real.

I stuffed the letter in my pocket, quickly following the path away from the tree and back towards the City Circle. Bounding up the steps once home, I ignored the any staff and made a beeline for my room. Anxiously, I ripped open the envelope, kicking the door shut and sliding a lock into place.

_My Sweet,_

_ I have to trust you know it is I, for I cannot risk your safety to put my name, or yours, into this note. For the safety of others, I cannot reveal to you how these notes will be passed but you must remember you have allies in the most unlikely places. _

_ I miss you, and sometimes it sickens me to know how much I care for you. It makes life here hard, but then I catch a glimpse of your face on the TVs and it's all worth it for some unknown reason. You make me happier then any other girl and I want you to know that. I can't imagine holding anyone else the way I last held you. My grandmother says that she once thought my love for you might pass, that it was just a short obsession and I think it scares her now that she's released it is not. I don't know what to expect in my future now._

_ It hurts that my only news of you is through the talk shows, only ever hearing their take on the latest capitol parties, etc. I swear that I know more about the latest outfit you were seen in then anything else. I personally disagree with the one woman who said your silver dressed at the one gala about a week ago was a terrible match attempt with your eyes. From the pictures, I've never seen them sparkle more. _

_ I count the days until May, when you will return and I can touch you once more. An image on a screen is nothing worthwhile, so do not still be jealous that I have that and you do not. If you deem it safe, write back to me. No matter what, do not risk your safety for anything. I couldn't live knowing you were hurt doing something for me. If you miss me, know that you are in my heart and always near._

_Always yours_

_P.S: Grandmother requests that for the next televised event you wear the one necklace with the black circle and the white rose. It's her favorite. I wouldn't mind as well, my sweet, for that way I shall be certain you have received this and still care for me as you swore you would forever do. I don't hold you to that promise, for I must make your life as hard as you make mine and I hate knowing that. _

Tears ran down my cheek while I reread his words, smearing the ink as they fell on the page. I clutched the paper to my chest, trying to pretend it was his hand instead. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, hadn't I heard that somewhere? Had Aunt Everett once said it to us before she was leaving? I didn't think it was true, for how can the heart grow fonder if it's breaking?

What was our future to bring? The only thing I could think of was stolen moments on trips to District 11, at most twice a year. We were fools yet I couldn't help it. I needed his words; I needed them to gather strength to go on pretending like he didn't exist. Did it help that we were together through screen, that he held me in his heart? No. I wanted him, not small dreams of Thresh, but the actual flesh and bones rocking me in strong arms.

He seemed so unsure if I loved him back, so certain I wasn't suffering the same. I wanted to reach for him, kiss him softly and then harder. That's how I wanted to convince him I loved him, but words couldn't do that. Sending back a letter seemed pointless, for even in the allotted two weeks how could I ever say what I could so easily show?

"December! Open the door so we can get you ready. Cameras start rolling in less then an hour." I sighed, carefully folding his note and tucking it into the back of a drawer before unlocking the door for Margarita. "They did drop off the dress this morning, didn't they?"

"Blue box in the closet. I'll grab it." She nodded, dumping the contents of her make-up bag on the vanity table and quickly organizing the bottles and compacts. Immediately I saw the blue box on top of the stack, yet I traced one label reading 'Silver open-back mid-length; semi-formal'. That was the one he liked, the one that made my eyes sparkle. I snapped from my trance, grabbing the newest box labeled 'red/white lace underskirt, strapless, jeweled, floor length- President's birthday, night 1, 74 A.D.D'

"Jeweled? Are you serious?"

"Did you honestly not even look when they dropped it off?" She smiled, taking the box from my hands and removing the gown to lay it on the bed. "Your budget always gets a bit raised for your father's birthday. I believe he takes it as his day to be selfish with the most richly dressed daughters in the Capitol. Just wait until you see May. Drina ordered glass roses with pearl centers as an entire belt. I thought you might want something a little less…"

"My sister?" I raised an eyebrow, not expecting any less.

"Exactly." Margarita laughed, and I picked up an edge of the dress, examining the intricate beading under the bust. Instead of the usual roses, the pattern consisted of tiny snowflakes reflecting off the overhead light. "The flakes are real diamond, so do try and be careful. The fabric is the most expensive I could get my hands on and if you are nice to it, this dress should last until you have your own daughter."

"Its genius, Margarita, like always." I quickly removed my school clothes and slipped on the dress, feeling the softest touch as it glided across my bare skin. She worked in silence, adjusting the fabric before elegantly twisting my hair on top of my head, the red strand weaving in and out of sight.

"I just need to grab your diamond set then you're ready." She walked towards the closet, typing in the code for the jewelry section before I stopped her.

"No. Get the black and white, rose set, with the olive leaves."

"Why not the diamonds? We could even use the set with the ruby in the middle if you wish."

"No. Papa gave me the rose set for the Games, didn't he? Sure, he paid for the diamonds but May and I each picked ours out. I'm wearing my games gift." How could I explain it to her, why I had to wear that single necklace out of all my others? How could I explain there was a single boy watching for the white rose, not a ruby set in diamonds?

She huffed in annoyance before handing me the correct box, and clasping the necklace around my neck while I pushed the earrings into place. "Get going. You are set to record after May and she should almost be done by now." She squeezed my shoulder, watching my reflection as I tilted my head to look as well. "You are beautiful, child. No wonder the Capitol loves you. Maybe tonight you'll even capture some lucky boy's heart." I smiled, thinking that if only she knew I already had.

Beams of light slipped in the window from the setting sun as I walked towards my bedroom door, illuminating the jewels on the dress. It was _his _sun, _our _sun that touched my skin and made me feel warm. For a moment, I just stopped, smiling and hoping my smile might tickle his face as he walked beneath the open sky.

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sad news (well, not for me exactly and I hope it's sad for u)…. I am doing NaNoWriMo this year so all of November I'm focusing my attention to my original fiction novel and hoping to add 18,000 words at least (I'm signed up in the young writers category so u can set your own limit… 50,000 seemed a bit ambiguous for me :D) I'll be back in December! **


	21. 87,000 part 2

**Chapter 21: 87,000 (Part 2)**

_So I'll just make believe that I'm alright_

_My false smile is the mask I hide behind_

_And I'll try not to let you too close to the front of my mind_

_But it's okay, it's just one of those days, I'll be alright_

-Gabi Carillo

"Ms. Snow, is there a speech you prepared that we must upload to a prompter for you?" I shook my head lightly as Margarita applied a touch more of powder to my cheeks. "Are you sure? Both of your siblings spent weeks writing theirs. Surely you have something?"

"The president is my father. Do you honestly believe I don't have enough to say off the top of my head? Do you believe he is not loving enough for that?" The cameraman shrunk away as I took my seat, never flinching under the lights.

"Now, just a reminder. Unlike your siblings, your message will be played live in the party hall and throughout Panem while we record it in here. Your father is watching the party from his office and will join the party with you after we are done here. The rest of your family is already watching their clips and now yours. Any questions, Ms. Snow?" I shook my head, smiling at his unnecessary reminder after doing this for years. The shot director motioned for silence, calmly counting down on his fingers.

"Happy Holiday, Panem. Did you miss me?" I waited for the director's nod to continue as he factored in time for their shouts. "Happy birthday, papa! I guess I'll start by saying how much the holiday planners have outdone themselves this year. The festivities planned for tomorrow especially could rival even game events. Yet, you are worth it. Why, you even dressed me up so lovely for this evening, diamond snow flakes and all! It is your birthday, so why am I the one getting the presents? That's what you constantly do; you give to others as you give all your time to run this spectacular country. I could not be more proud to be your daughter. How else could I have such beautiful things?'

My gaze flickered past the camera lens and on to a small screen that showed the live video feed. I imagined the ballroom in this same building where Capitol elite were gathered, the other Capitol citizens clustering around screens all over the city and some still in their bathrooms preparing for these two nights of frivolity. Then I thought of the Districts, sitting on small and dusty couches watching all the fun in jealous rage, as they deserved. The Districts. Thresh was watching. Suddenly I could feel him through the camera and staring at the necklace I saw hanging on my pale white neck.

"Papa, you always call me your rose and I hope I live up to such love as the love you give me. This necklace," I brushed it with my fingers before wrapping my palm around the pendant. "The one you gave me for the games, means so much because it makes me think of you. Sometimes, I don't think you realize how much I love you, that you mean the world with me, and whatever tries to keep us apart, I can't live without you. I would risk anything for you, I promise." One of the cameramen began eying me strangely but the shot director shushed him. I was pushing it, but I had to try. "I'll never love anyone as much as I love you."

I let go of the necklace, unsure how to proceed anymore for Thresh without risking too much. "Papa, you are the best father in the world. Do you remember at the last Games when I was placing my bets and you thought I was wrong but you just said 'One day I'll learn to shut up because you are always right, my rose.' If you meant it, considering it's true, know that you mean the world to me and Panem wouldn't be the same without you. Whatever I ask for, whether it is a material object or intangible, you always provide for me. I know you try hard to balance family and the country, but it all pays off.

I realize that sometimes, I am wrong. That I make you upset and disappoint you. I know you expect the best of me, because you know I can be the best that this country could ask for and you only want to give me that chance. Your expectations come from a loving place and I only wish I could always meet them for you. In a few years, when I'm grown and ready to take the country by storm, I just want you to be able to look at me and say 'I raised that wonderful girl to be the woman she is today.' I wish I could give you all you've given me, but I don't have the money or pure heart you do. I can give you my love and obedience always and please know that's the best I have to give.

I'm thankful I get to look up to you, take advice from you alone. It's a privilege to watch your strength, kindness and be under your wing while learning the true lessons of life. I love you, papa. Happy birthday."

I didn't realize I was crying until the shot ended and Margarita rushed over to wipe the tears from my face. Each word had been true, from my very heart. Even the parts to Thresh, those we true in their own way. I was blessed for my father and he deserved to know it. "Good job." Margarita placed her hand on my shoulder and I realized tears had formed in her eyes as well. "Let's find your father. It's time the party really starts." I nodded, following her from the studio and towards his office.

He was waiting for me, a large smile on his face as he finished watching a replay of my speech he must have asked for. I didn't know if it was a private viewing, or the whole of Panem was watching it again on his order. I didn't care.

"My rose, my beautiful adoring rose." He grabbed my waist; lifting me a bit off my toes to twirl me, as though I were still a little girl. "You are much too kind to me." He held me close for a moment, his head resting on my own.

"You deserve it, papa. That was the whole point of my video feed." Papa laughed, kissing me on the forehead and squeezing my hand. I smelled the rose perfumed he wore to cover the stench of his genetic sores and smiled widely, enjoying the smell of my childhood love.

"I love you child, always remember that. You're my favorite child, no matter what." His eyes seemed slightly moist, but he didn't cry because he never could. "I have one question for you however. What in the world would tear us apart?"

I cringed, somewhat caught in my own trap. "Just a precaution papa, nothing more."

He looked at me curiously once more before grabbing a single rose from a vase on his desk. Quietly, he turned my head slightly and tucked the rose into the pinned up curls. "How quickly you grow, my rose. I can still perfectly remember the first time Margarita made a dress for you, that night I let you come to a party for the first time. It was a soft pink with white lace and a forest green sash. I never made a better decision then assigning her to you."

I laughed, feeling the rose with the tips of my fingers. "Imagine if you had given me Drina. I would look so strange in those outfits she makes for May."

He laughed, taking my arm as we walked from the office. "Margarita was always the more elegant of the two, and I thought she would better suit you."

"Why?"

"Because roses might bloom in May, but in December they the most elegant center piece one could ask for. You only like to stand out when you want to in the moment otherwise you try to blend in, whereas your sister likes to constantly outshine the world. Both are equally powerful, my rose."

I remained silent, just walking beside him and feeling his strong grip to hold me balanced. I couldn't help but wish it was Thresh's hand instead.

Two peacekeepers stood at the door to the party hall, straightening their stance as we approached. "Mr. President. Ms. Snow." They both nodded as they addressed us, reaching for the door handles.

"Remember what your grandmother's been teaching you. She told me tonight I should experience an entirely new daughter if you've listened."

"Please papa. Like I needed instruction on how to keep people hanging on my every word and how to make an entrance. I have listened to her droning on and it's nothing I didn't already know, just things I decided were foolish."

Papa shook his head lightly, a smile creeping onto his face. From behind the doors, I heard a herald announcing our arrival. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome our beloved President, the leader of this free nation who we celebrate this evening. Accompanying him is one of our favorites as well, Miss. December Snow. I give you, President Snow!" A loud cheer erupted as the doors swung open and we entered, the cameras following our every motion down the center aisle.

I felt the waxy smile slid onto my face, only radiating happiness from within and burying everything else like a forgotten memory. Even though I could only think of Thresh when the cameras caught my eye, I buried him with the rest as he continued to claw through the dirt of hidden emotions.

"Ms. Snow, may I have a dance?" My father released my arm before handing me off to Broderson and disappearing in a mass of admirers vying for attention.

"Do I have a choice, Darren?"

"Of course not. I have appearances to keep up and having you enjoy my presence is one of them." I allowed my fake smile to be replaced by a real one for a moment, before remembering what his false appearances lead others to believe.

"Excited to leave for 67 later this week?"

"With you, no. In general, yes."

"You're a hard shell, December Everett Snow."

"And you are the world's harshest critic, Darren Blake Broderson." He laughed once more, twirling me along with the music, tightening his grip every beat. He pulled me in close, my heart racing next to deep breathing as I pictured my district boy standing in his place.

"You alright, Snow? You seem distant." Darren stopped all motion, releasing me from the bondage of dance.

And as I simply breathed and remembered the scent of candles in that small shed, I replied with "Never better."

**Hope you enjoyed! Please please review!**


	22. Power

**Chapter 22: Power**

_Last years rivals share their blood_

_Sailor sworn to secrecy_

_Ride the waves and stem the flood_

_The tides of endless enmity_

_-Tears for Fears_

"Head up, child, shoulders back. You must appear above to be above." If the Avox playing server in the corner could snicker, I was sure he would be.

"Grandmother, if this is a family dinner with close friends as you claim we are practicing, why must I be above them?"

"You must always be above them, and the moment you show differently someone will take your place when you want it most."

"Then I'll just take it back." The Avox smirked in the corner, grandmother slapping my hand as I reached for a bun from the table center. I paused a moment, allowing her to withdraw her claw before swooping in once more.

"You are a headstrong fool." She waved the Avox from the room, her flaring anger in her eyes never turning from my face. "We don't share power outside this family easily. Who runs ceremonies at the arenas? Your aunt. Who is the head of peacekeepers? The husband of your mother's cousin. Your father's chief advisor is the son of your grandfather's best friend. Who is head game maker?"

"Seneca Crane, who isn't family at all."

"Not family, but heavily in debt to us. For the sake of my youngest we covered up that scandal years ago. If he slips, we take him down in more ways then one now that Rosa passed on." I remained silent in horror, my dead aunt's name ringing in my ears. No one ever mentioned her; it was practically against the law. "Don't gape, girl. I don't use that name lightly but you need to know this is serious. Rosa cost us dearly, even before she died. Did you know your father wanted to name you after her when you were born? He said you reminded him of her. The more I watch you, the more frightened I am." Grandmother didn't tear up as Aunt Everett did, didn't fall silent as my father did when their sister came up in conversation. She just looked on as if she didn't care, as if this was regular daily conversation.

"If only I had her courage." The moment it slipped from my lips, I regretted the comment.

"What?" Grandmother's whole body snapped in shock, her limbs violently shaking as she looked at me.

It was too late to go back. "I said I wish I had her courage. You never liked Aunt Rosa, at least that's what it sounds like. Every time someone mentions her when you are around you act like she committed treason or something, but papa misses her. Papa loved her, and you didn't because she fought back to you. You're too power hungry to have anyone oppose you." _And she acted on love, not hiding it and playing the game._

"Your aunt did commit treason! She committed adultery, against this family!"

"With Seneca Crane, who is now Head Gamemaker because of it!"  
>"Let me ask you something. If you had that power, would you dare risk losing it? Do you think the Capitol would let him keep his job if we breathed a word? In any other position he might have said something but now he wouldn't dare. Anyways, he knows that the smallest slip up at this point would be enough to have your father sign the execution papers. You have much to learn, you stupid fool. Put your enemies in the eyes of others, then you aren't the only one to catch them."<p>

"You're just mad that Rosa didn't listen to you, just like you are when Aunt Everett has power over you at the arenas. What do you plan to do if you live longer then Papa? How will you bear to give your place as Mother President to my mother instead? One day, I'll make sure Cory puts you in your place. Papa may be president, but that wasn't your doing. It was grandfather, papa, and the late Mr. Broderson. Without papa, you'd be nothing. Ask anyone on the streets. The Capitol loves me more then you."

I felt her palm on my cheek before I even saw it, felt the harsh stinging as tears filled my eyes. I screamed as the flesh burned for a moment after, leading to the peacekeepers stationed in the hall flinging open the doors, one rushing towards me and scooping me in his arms.

"Miss. Snow, are you alright?" I nodded, the pain gone from my cheek, yet anger boiling in my blood. "Deputy, call for the president."

"I hardly think that will be necessary." My grandmother rose, walking towards the peacekeeper holding me as he backed up at her approach.

"We are under direct orders that if anyone hurts any of the children the president is to be contacted immediately. I apologize Mother President, but that rule applies even to you."

"Surely the children have hit each other before. Did you honestly call their father then?"

"Of course not. The children ordered us not to." I smirked as she looked like she was about to slap him.

"December, tell them it's nothing to worry about it. We just had a small disagreement, that's all." The peacekeeper looked at me, waiting for confirmation.

"Wasn't papa's other part of that order that anyone who hurts us must be confined?" The peacekeeper laughed as horror covered my grandmother's face.

"I believe it was." He gestured to another peacekeeper who grabbed Grandmother, pulling her arms behind her back.

"December Everett Snow! How dare you even try to arrest me! You ungrateful, miserable brat of a girl!"  
>The peacekeeper holding her covered her mouth with his hand. "Watch your tongue, Mother President. You are talking to the Lady December Snow." I wanted to laugh desperately as she glared while the peacekeeper used my outskirts title.<p>

"December! Are you alright?" My father rushed in the room, ignoring everything else as he came directly towards me. "My rose, my sweet rose."

"Put me down." The peacekeeper obliged, still smiling widely as he kept his eyes on my grandmother.

"What happened?"

"President Snow, Miss. December was in this room with her grandmother when we heard her scream. It is my understanding that the Mother President slapped her, sir."

My father looked at me, smirking playfully, slowly turning to see my grandmother in custody of the peacekeeper before he started laughing. "Really mother? You hit her and got arrested? Well, I'm glad to know my forces listen to me so well. Release my mother will you? She looks about to have a heart attack."

The peacekeeper obeyed quickly, yet grabbed her again as she angrily rushed towards me. "Mr. President. The palace guard force is vowed to protect the inhabitants of this palace at all costs, and I don't believe letting the Mother President loose is in Lady December's best interests."

"You're an outskirts kid, aren't you boy?" The peacekeeper nodded. "The outskirts have a very admirable trait of loyalty, better then many in the Upper city, especially to my children. In that case, I'll let December issue to final decision on this matter." Excitement gleamed in my father's eyes as he watched me, no doubt enjoying every moment of this disruption from his workday.

"You may release her, but please escort her back to her room until dinner time." The peacekeeper smiled, grabbing her wrist to lead her from the room and the door shut loudly behind them

"Your grandmother won't ever forgive you for that." My father sat, pouring himself a cup of wine from the table. I pranced over, joining him carelessly.

"I won't forget her slapping me either."

"Where in the world do you get your fiery temper from?"

"Most say it's from my father."

He studied me carefully for a moment before sipping the wine, swishing it lightly in the glass. "Your father indeed." He gulped the rest of the drink, dabbing his lips with a napkin, before refilling the cup. "Do try to keep it in check sometimes however. I may have found it funny this once, but I can't let it slide again."

"Did you really want to name me Rosa?"

He choked on the wine, a peacekeeper rushing forward before he waved her away and from the room. "I should rephrase my safety proclamation to the guard, they are starting to do their job overwhelming well."

"Papa, you're avoiding my question."

"I did. I remember her when she was a baby and she fought just barely more then you did. Your mother and I agreed on December originally, then you nicked your eye and I brought it up for a mere moment, nothing more. Her death was still a fresh wound when you were born. Yet, she defied this family and the principles we stand for. Even as an honor in death, you couldn't possibly be named after her. She deserved no honor."

I nodded, silently ripping chunks off a bread roll and stuffing my mouth. "I need to get back to work. There's a man who broke a few too many laws in District 8 that's down in the cells I think I owe a visit too." His eyes glistened as he smiled. "Would you care to join me, my rose? I think he might enjoy seeing something beautiful before he experiences the rest of his evening."

A smile grew on my lips to match my father's excitement. "Of course."

_My ultimate care, _

_I hope you saw that broadcast, when I wore what you asked for. I meant if for you, though it was hiding under other pretenses. How often otherwise have you watched me? How often have I disappointed you? _

_Don't worry about the future; we can work it out. I have some of the strongest influence in this city. They follow my words to humor a child, not realizing the effect my words have. They love me dearly; listen to my commands above some of my elders. If only you could have seen my grandmother's face today! Well, that is a story for later._

_I love you. If I didn't know it before, I know it now. Trust me when I say I love you, how many times do I have to tell you for you believe it? I miss you, I miss the large open land we sat together in, the unobstructed sky that watched as you kissed me. Trust me please. It hurts when I think that you don't know how much I care about it. Hold me again, in your mind so I can imagine it as well. Kiss me again, for my thoughts are constantly on you._

_I used to love my life, excel in the constant attention but now I want nothing more then those open skies and quiet hills when no one is watching me, where we are free. I've learned a lot about freedom over these past months since I met you, I've learned that the constant cameras and microphones isn't freedom, that it is prison and a trap my family suffers. My grandmother has been giving me lessons on proper behavior and what to say to the public. It's never lies, just stretches. Yet she tries to bind me in them, more so then anyone else. _

_I need you by me, I need your help as everything starts to blur for me. Soon, I will be back, I promise. Nothing seems more appealing now then being with you._

_Love always, I promise._

**Thanks for reading everyone! Just 3.5 more days of school and then Christmas break! More updates coming soon! Please review!**


	23. What is this Feeling?

**Chapter 23: What is this Feeling?**

_Ev'ry little trait, however small_

_Makes my very flesh begin to crawl_

_With simple utter loathing_

_There's a strange exhilaration_

_In such total detestation_

_It's so pure, so strong!_

_-Wicked_

The train rolled steadily through the countryside, a book propped open on my lap in the main carriage. I refused to look up as Darren sat down beside me, denting the cushion lightly in a sick way that made me roll closer to him. "Is that book any good? I know Mrs. Penninger recommended it, but you've never struck me as the type to read off that list." He leaned against the window behind us, casually resting his hands on the back of his head.

"It's fine." I snapped the book shut, desperate to leave the carriage. Mother, May and Mrs. Broderson were engaged in a conversation in one corner. Father and Tauro played a card game on the table, both trying to use Cory to spy on the other's hand. No one would notice if I disappeared, no one but Darren.

"Smile and enjoy yourself, you are vacation."

"Isn't vacation supposed to mean peace and relaxation? You are slightly ruining that." Darren laughed, spreading his left arm out so it fell behind my shoulders. I made a move to slip away, yet he grasped my far shoulder, squeezing to keep me in place.

"You should know there is no relaxation for a daughter of the President." he glanced towards the door to another carriage, my eyes following to glimpse an Avox peering in. Darren leaned in closer as I faked a smile, breath hot on my ear. "There is always someone watching people like us."

In honest laughter I flung back my head, hair wiping past my cheek. "Like us, Broderson? We are nothing alike."

"Just because I don't carry the Noted Blood doesn't mean I'm not important. At least my own blood doesn't make me stubborn, impatient, cold and boring."

"Boring? If I am so boring, Darren Broderson, then why are you wasting your valuable time with me?"

"I only wish to grace your pathetic presence." He lighted a lopsided grin, mischief gleaming in his eyes.

"Like I need you. You are a slimy coward who can't even find something valuable to fill your insignificant existence so instead you constantly bother people of true quality."

"True quality? You can't even get through a day without being vain enough to fret over your latest outfit!"

"Fret? I don't fret! At least I'm not a two-sided lousy Thirteen-tribute"

"December!" I cringed as my parents snapped, knowing that they had been listening for ages anyway. Somehow it was always me that got the blame and was quieted first. No doubt it was because Broderson couldn't go as far without risking being imprisoned. A slight smile crossed my lips as the picture of him shaking behind iron bars filled my mind. I would have to try that.

Tauro eyed his son coolly as Darren stammered over words, trying to find a proper insult. "Honestly, can you two ever just keep hush?" May rolled her eyes, obviously finding joy in our misfortune.

"Let's have some music, shall we?"

"Coriolanus! We should be punishing such behavior, not skimming over it!" Mother sounded exasperated, as though we were all crazy.

"What would you have me do? Send them to their carriages?" Darren and I quickly gave our assent for that before being hushed. "See? That's exactly what they want! December, my rose, get your fiddle down and play for us. I'm sure Darren wouldn't mind helping us all with the lyrics."

I moved slowly to a side shelf, never taking my eyes off Broderson while I reached for the sleek black case. "Moon's Dawn?" He nodded in response as I tuned quickly, watching him think through the words to our common performance when it was required. It was the song that no one didn't know, and the one I first learned to play.

_One soft boy he left the home_

_Pockets full of old man's coin_

_He's wandering the streets tonight_

_He came upon a group of boys_

_Newly painted, done powerfully_

_Off they run towards the City Circle_

_Hearing music, heart's a pound_

_There's a moon a'glaze on the Capitol Square_

_Coin's left the pocket, smile on the lips_

_Take your girl by the arm_

_And kiss her in the break of dawn_

_So this young kid, feeling good_

_Scans the crowd impatiently_

_Looking for the neighbor's daughter_

_With her shining gold locks of joy_

_She's standing, waiting patiently_

_He takes her hand leading her astray_

_They dance as the world falls away_

_There's a moon a'glaze on the Capitol Square_

_Coin's left the pocket, smile on the lips_

_Take your girl by the arm_

_And kiss her in the break of dawn_

I heard the others join in with Darren to finish the last verse, the one where the boy and girl get married under the stars. I simply closed my eyes, following Darren's tempo and adding a little extra to try and throw him off track. Yet, he plowed on as that strong voice filled the carriage, covering the sound of the moaning train rails.

The song is only over a moment before someone calls for another, _The Sock, _and I play the first note before another word is spoken, eagerly trying to postpone conversation.

_Father's raise their boys mighty strong_

_Mothers hold their daughters dear_

_Well, never forget the single gift_

_That a parent must hold most dear_

_When your son sends a flying punch_

_Sock him till he apologize_

_While your daughter runs her tongue off leash_

_Sock her till she reconciles_

_Sock them hard, sock them true_

_Remind them of their cold blessings _

_For we have fire in hearths and meals in bed_

_So sock them like a district scum_

_Oh ho remember now_

_The sword of mighty saviors_

_Those smart men years ago_

_Who saw our pure hearts_

_Every year we celebrate, the niceness of our freedom _

_While district imps play our games_

_Sock them till they remember _

Father clapped loudly, the others joining in with equal enthusiam. "Alright, we should all get some rest. Tomorrow, we arrive at 67." The crowd nodded and trickled from the room, leaving Darren alone watching me slid the fiddle into it's case.

"You play a mean fiddle, Snow. It's as cruel as your heart."

"Sure, and I still loathe your very presence." I smirked calmly, watching for any pain in his face but none showed. We were both mask professionals.

"Do you still have that book? The Dark Days music?" His voice dropped to barely a whisper, leaning in close to my cheek and I wanted nothing more then to swat him away. I nodded carefully. "You always said you'd play me something from it. I want to learn the music too."

"Not here, and I didn't memorize words."  
>"Right, because you sing like a sick mule. I've never heard a more painful sound in my life."<p>

I ignored him, thinking of his attempt to learn to play a few years back but decided silence would aggravate him more. As I stretched to reach the shelf for my fiddle, he grabbed it from my hands and easily slid it into place. I hated being short. I hated families bonding with other families. Most of all, I despised Darren Broderson.

**Hey guys. Sorry for the "short and rough" chapter this was. It honestly just came to me and I wrote it down quick. Happy Holidays everyone! **

**Dear Santa,**

**Please bring me many reviews ;)**


	24. Kill Me For Loving You

**Chapter 24: Kill Me For Loving You**

_I don't want to start over_

_With someone new_

_Yeah I'd gotten so damn good at loving you._

_-Jaron and the Long Road to Love_

"Alright. The boys should have hid the package inside the Cornucopia. December, pick a weapon."

"Sword." I grinned as the Avox under Aunt's command handed me a sleek blade.

"Darren? Your pick." He scanned the items in the storeroom meticulously, brow furrowed together as he struggled to make a choice.

"There. The shield in the corner with the dagger stuck in it." The Avox rushed to get the weapon, and I wanted to punch his patience.

"Not fair Broderson, that's two."

"Technically it's one stuck together." Aunt Everett made no move to straighten him out so I just grumbled and let an Avox retie my hair. I wasn't planning on letting him get close enough for a dagger anyways.

"You two know the rules. Just remember that any actual injures will be fixed the moment you call for help, and ending the game before one of us has the box due to mending an injury isn't folding, it's postponement for safety. I don't even know where the box key is hidden, but there is one for each of you." I barely heard her reminders, my mind replaying the 67 games and trying to remember every detail.

An Avox led us to a checkpoint where electric neon bracelets were fastened to our wrists to make us findable in the arena.

Excitement pulsed through my veins as we rose out of the catacombs and into the arena. 67 was beautiful, a masterpiece with rolling hills covered in flowers and the mountain peaks rising behind them. The Cornucopia shone brightly and I glanced to Darren, trying to read his plan.

A single platform to our left was destroyed, edges around a empty circle charred and twisted. I laughed looking at it, remembering the girl's ball rolling away, and her face slowly changing to horror as she realized what her clumsiness caused.

A horn sounded and Darren rushed ahead of me into the hills, disappearing from view in a matter of moments. I stopped, fingering the hilt of my sword as I thought. Darren was faster, taller, and stronger than me by far. He had the world's best memory of the Games and would know the best spots to hide a key. Lastly, quite terrible may I admit, he knew how I operate and probably had a belief on my first move before I could even think of it.

I looked at the Cornucopia, glistening in the sun and an idea struck me. I looked up o the fake sky, waving and smiling brightly for the cameras. This year, the headlines will read "December Snow Could Win the Games".

I raced for the cornucopia, watching for any sign of Darren as my hands locked around the victory box. A few feet away I found a hole in the ground, one I remember tripping up a district boy before another beheaded him. I smirked again, thinking of the hole's wondrous uses. Carefully, desperate not to break anything, I slipped the box into the hole and ran back to the Cornucopia, crouching on the inside and drawing out my sword, waiting for my prey.

Something about the way the flowers stretched to the sun reminded me of District 11, the time the train plowed down the tracks and through the meadows boarding the districts. The flowers were like those rows and rows of crops and I imagined Thresh standing in the fields, picking apples or plowing or something. Even in the thrill of playing the Games didn't stop me from just wanting to be with him. I counted the weeks left on one hand, four. Just one month.

Had he received my letter? I pictured him sitting on one of those hills, watching the sunset and reading the note, a smile covering his face. I only wanted to make him happy. Was his grandmother feeling well, did she still like me at all? What of Trina and the growing baby? My heart yearned to hear from him but I knew I was lucky for the one letter and getting to send one back. That was more then I could ask for.

A canon sounded in the distance, the signal that a key had been found. I glanced at my watch to see it only took him twenty minutes. Maybe partnering on Game bets wasn't so bad of an idea. But then who was there to compete with? Macey Kieger wasn't too bad, and neither was Crane's youngest son considering his father was a Gamemaker. They usually were in the top ten or fifteen, but Darren and I together always filled the top spots and we would be easy victors. Too much of the fun was seeing him try so desperately and still get crushed.

Who, except Broderson, was even decent enough company to spend the morning on the phones with like my sister constantly did? They were all shallow bubbleheads thinking of the next frilly party in our year, even Kieger just got her bets from people who couldn't afford it as much. The mentors had phones, but even Finnick was too quiet and reserved to hold much of a conversation with. Well, at least Broderson is a bit better.

He plowed into view, glancing around once before lunging towards the Cornucopia. I tenses, crouching on my heels and counting down on my breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

As Darren raced through the opening, I jumped for him. He raised his shield in just enough time so that shoulder whacked the metal. "Blasted Thirteen Snow! What are you even doing?"

"Surprising you." I cocked my head, trying to ignore the pain in my shoulder. Like whenever I was on camera, I could hear the crowd roaring in my head. "Did you miss me?" I thought that just might send them squealing. They should put smarter people in these Games sometimes.

"You didn't even try to find a key. You have up easily." Darren started laughing. "Where did you hide it?" I shrugged my shoulders, bracing myself and raising up the sword for another lunge. "Really Snow? I hate to break it to you, but your talents do not lie in strength."

"I might have more up my sleeves then you think."

He looked me over once, trying to decide if I really was hiding anything else. " I have a feeling your short of all munitions, except courage."

"Hmm. A backhand complement. I'll take it." He just laughed once more, taking up his own stance with shield and dagger. I didn't wait another second, pushing my body off the ground by my toes, getting in enough that he had to jump, avoiding my sword slashing his feet. He regained his balance fast enough, blocking me again and pushing me up against the Cornucopia wall with the shield.

"Do you really think I don't know where you hid it?" My eyes shifted to the right against my will, looking towards that hole. He followed my gaze and I realized I had given it away when he released me and rushed in that direction. I tried to follow; yet he was already far ahead and in a moment held the box in his hands.

I rushed him one more time with the sword, trying to snap victory from the jaws of defeat but it was too late. Darren only showed the silver parachute for a moment before tucking it into his pocket as our wristbands vibrated, signaling that the cameras were done filming and we could walk around the arena and explore however much we wanted to.

"I'll give it to Cory when we go back for lunch. He would like that, wouldn't he?" I nodded, grateful for that which I hadn't even thought of. You don't buy parachutes as memorabilia in the Capitol. You have to win them. I slipped the sword back into its hip case, dragging my feet in pursuit as he made for a grove of trees.

"What's in there?"

"That's where the last three became two. If I remember right there is a small water hole when we can get something to drink." I bit my tongue to remind him that if we wanted a drink all we had to do was double tap the bracelets to get serviced. I knew he wouldn't listen. Drinking water from a hole was all part of the experience.

We sat beneath a tree after taking drinks from the hole, just resting. Darren had a light gash on the side of his neck, probably something from finding the key. I didn't ask so he wouldn't brag.

"You know what my favorite part of these trips is?" I shrugged. "Missing school." That I understood. Most families took their trips during the Victory Tour break, watching the tour from the arenas. However, that was not a time for my father to be away from the Capitol.

"Think about Penninger's face every morning as she calls rolls and three of us are missing."

"Class is probably a lot quieter without you though, and I bet no one comes in late or ditches. It must be like teacher heaven." He sighed, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. "Well, maybe not today with the news about Macey."

"What about Macey?" I wanted to hurl having to get information from Broderson and I could tell he was enjoying it.

"She's engaged, mother told me this morning. I guess she's marrying a son, Charlen, of the Captain of the Capitol Guard who's about two years older then us."

"She's sixteen!"

"They won't get married for a few years, it's just for the public and to support the position to Macey." Darren looked at me like this was obvious, that I show know better. It bothered me because knew I should.

"Or they might be planning to name Charlen. Macey's always just wanted to be a pretty party wife."

"And you? Do you want to be a pretty party wife?"

I watched him for a moment, his eyes gleaming with curiosity and mischief. I thought of Thresh, thought of him with me in pretty dresses and a party planner walking around the Capitol and it just didn't fit. "You know what I need to do Broderson. I'm going to marry for the sake of my brother. If I have power, I'll use it. If I need to plan parties and be pretty so my husband can best serve Cory I will. I accepted that a long time ago." Father's words from my childhood echoed in my head. _There are a fair few boys who would make things easier for your brother when he is President._

He remained silent for a moment before looking off in the distance. "Have you ever thought how easy it would be if we married?" I felt m jaw drop and eyes grow wide before I started to laugh. He just rushed on talking. "Think about it. We could announce it in advance, pushing away all the other drama of engagements. I'll be Chief advisor, making my wife only second to your mother and Cory's wife. It would be the ultimate way to prove that I am pledged to Cory's service and that your family trusts me.

I couldn't stop laughing, waiting for Darren to join in as he did with his usual jokes. "If you want that, marry May. She'd be a bit easier to handle."

I watched as annoyance filled his eyes. "I don't care whatever happens behind closed doors. If you entertain yourself with some paramour I'll find my own. We just need to have a child or two and no one would care about what they don't know."

Anger boiled inside me. "You would marry me but then go off and sleep with some low class prostitute? What would you do? Find some pretty tribute and buy her something shiny for the arena to make her a victor? Go after May if you want some political alliance. I bet she'd be willing to go to your bed. She's prettier anyways so I'm sure you wouldn't mind going to hers!"

I started to stand but he grabbed my forearm, tugging me back to the ground. "Just think about it. You could find someone you loved, no matter who they were and what they could give your brother. Are you going to get that chance again?"

Thresh. In a cryptic way, this was our chance. I could have him moved into the Capitol, snuck into my room whenever I wanted and my _husband _wouldn't even care. It would be pre agreed. Honestly, could Thresh hope for a better life? He'd have anything he wanted on Darren's dime, get out of the slums that are districts. He'd be given a real life. A life away from his family, a life hiding in secrecy. I sighed, dropping my hands in my head, feeling a frustrating throbbing along with the quick beat of my heart. Then, in a simple swoop I jumped to my feet, pulling the sword back from its pouch.

"Do not draw a blade on me! Do you honestly want to kill me for this?" Darren stood quick, drawing the dagger and pushing me to the ground. The blade's cold side traced against my neck and I shivered as he loomed over me. "For one second I want you to look me in the eye December Everett Snow and listen.." I tried to turn my focus away from the blade at my throat, fixing in on a branch past his head. A cold sting whipped against my cheek. "Look at me!" Slowly, I turned my eyes to meet his, noticing that with all his anger Darren Broderson was crying. "I don't care about the political help we could provide your brother! I don't care how everyone says May is prettier, that May would be an easier woman to handle. For bloody tribute, I want you, you stubborn beautiful brat! I want to wake up in the morning when I'm old and see your eyes, whether that brilliant silver is next to me on the pillow or in the face of a child I can call my own while you are in someone else's bed. I don't care! I'll take you any damn way I can have you!"

I couldn't say a word, watching thick tears fall from his eyes and anger radiate off his red cheeks.

Darren flung the dagger away, standing up quick and looking down on me, waiting for my move. I couldn't move, couldn't speak. I didn't know what to do. "I'll say one more thing December Snow. I swear I'll love you forever, but I won't wait for you too long either. You need to learn you can't control everyone's lives. And trust me that no other Capitol Circle boy will ever care for you like I could."

Darren Broderson walked away, frustration and hurt powering his every step. I just smiled when he was out of sight, not caring if no Capitol boy, even outskirts, ever loved me. I already had my District jewel.


	25. Love Story

**Chapter 25: Love Story**

_'Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,_

_And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"_

_But you were everything to me,_

_-Taylor Swift_

I walked down to breakfast slowly; hair still wet and simply balled up on the back of my head. I left the red strand hanging out, nicely dried and smooth. There was sheer pleasure in reminding Darren I wasn't my sister.

Darren Broderson, the jump-back kid. Was it only four days ago that he confessed his stupid dire love for me with a dagger at my throat? Now every time I saw him he reached for my sister, playing with her hair and holding her hand. It was disgusting, yet consisted of perverse happiness for me considering May had no idea why he was doing it.

"Wake up a bit late this morning Snow?" His voice stopped me in my tracks, the voice that hadn't said a word to me in four days. I wanted to hurl.

"Yes. I was sleeping like a baby, not a thought of anything or anyone on my mind." I turned to see it obviously had not been the same for him. Darren had dark circles under his eyes, his hair completely disheveled.

"Well, we can't all be so… lucky." His voice was cold and he refused to meet my eyes again.

"Hush up, Broderson. It's not like I've been the one throwing myself at someone I don't care about all week." I clamped my mouth shut after I finished, realizing it should have never opened. Grandmother's stupid lessons never exactly prepared me for this.

"You aren't throwing yourself at anyone." That's when I laughed. _If only you knew. _"I told you December Snow. I told you I wouldn't wait and I'm not." We had reached the eating room doors in the area our families rented and he threw them open fast, crossing over to May in a hurry.

"Morning, my rose." Papa called to me from the table, flipping through a delivery of papers from the Capitol that required a signature.

"Where are Mother and Cory?"

"Your mother took Cory for a breakfast picnic by the Cornucopia." I nodded as he focused back on the papers. "The Gamemakers want a raise, Tauro. Two weeks until the 74th games and they are threatening to work half time if we don't."

"How much?"

"Up five percent, it isn't bad."

"I bet Crane is behind it, he always likes to cause last minute trouble." Tauro thought for a moment, leaning back in his chair. "We can afford it if we cut a bit from District 8, there's been a little extra I hear the Mayor is passing out on his own whim. It's you call."

Papa nodded, signing the paper to raise the Gamemakers' pay, then pushing the clipboard off to the side. "No more petty business today, we only have a short time left on this trip to enjoy ourselves. Plus, the kids need to spend the train ride home catching up on school work."

I moaned, taking my seat on Papa's left and motioning for an Avox to fill my plate. "Must we? We have a month before Game break to catch up before grades are due."

"Same argument Darren used on me last night." I couldn't help but look at Darren and May all cuddled up in the window seat across the room, Darren feeding her bits of fruit. Tauro followed my gaze before leaning into the table so just Papa and I could hear. "That's a sight I never thought I'd see."

"Why not?" I looked at them innocently as both men stared at me, not saying a word. "I think breakfast in the arena sounds like a great idea." I couldn't help that my voice was snappy; I just didn't want to be there anymore.

"I'll come with you, we haven't had much time just the two of us." He gave an Avox instruction to pack up a picnic brunch and deliver it outside when it was ready.

We walked in silence, arm in arm, through the doors into the arena and past the Cornucopia. Papa shouted to mother, promising we would stay away as this was scheduled time for the two of them. Papa picked a spot, and we stopped as the Avox following us set up the picnic.

Once alone with Papa, I smiled. This was easy and peaceful, just the two of us together liked we loved. I looked at his face, the face of the man who understood me better than anyone in the world. Papa leaned against a tree, and I sat beside him, resting my head on his shoulder and snuggling in close.

"Love is a funny thing, my rose, and I'll tell you that none of us ever can figure it out." I turned to look at him, stunned by the sudden topic my father was wasting no time in getting at. "You are the most like me out of my children, which has always surprised me. I guess it's your free spirit but sometimes that free spirit can get us into trouble. Souls like ours might hurt before we even know there was something there to be hurt."

"You have no hurt Papa, that I know."

"No, child. I've buried it all inside for better or for worse. Can I tell you a story?" I nodded, unsure of where he was going with this, but I knew somehow he deemed it important in the moment. That's what politicians did; they picked an important topic but talked it in circles for hours until hitting the target.

"When I became President, that very first night, I seemed to find myself suddenly alone in the world. In my youth, my parents were a dominating force that controlled every day, yet the moment my name was announced as the election victor, they stepped back. For a few years I had known that once my position was secure I would want, and need to, establish a family. There were countless girls I was introduced to, ones with powerful jobs but I didn't really care about any of them. Then, I met your mother.

She wasn't much in the way of fortune or connections, getting into the parties mostly as media and not a true guest, just by using her father's name loosely. I fell in love with her that night, I fell in love with the way she had a face that just said 'one day I will be better than all of you'. She had the most beautiful hair and the world's greenest eyes." He stopped speaking, but only for a moment before continuing on. No one ever spoke past that last part.

"For two years she said nothing to me but asking a few questions to try and get a press release out. When I realized she hated media, I pulled some strings to get her a job on the Presidential Palace party board. I think one day I might have gotten a 'Thank you, President Snow' one day passing her in the hall, but that was it for another year until they sent her into my office to go over a few details. It was for a more private party, not one of the full-blown and media covered ones, just a sit down dinner. She asked if there was anyone in particular I would like seated next to me and I replied I would very much like her there. She said 'Very well, Sir. I shall check with the rest of the board and see what can be done.' I got to the party and the seat was filled with someone else. When I inquired about the next morning it was made clear that she never even brought up my requested seating arrangements.

Our relationship continued on like that, her ignoring my advances until she started to realize I was her best option. I provided a future that no one else could, though your mother still was determined to have power on her own account and wary of me. Our dating life was off and on, never clear cut until…."

He stopped, growing eerily silent as he gazed off in the distance. My whole mind was entrapped in the story. "Until?"

"Your mother wouldn't like me telling you this story, my rose."

"You already started it."

He sighed, knowing I would continue on fighting him until he told me more. "Until we spent a night together and I got her pregnant." Immediately, I started added up years, the math not working. "She aborted the baby right away, but was still frightened about her reputation and agreed to marry me. It was another eleven years until she was pregnant again, the time with you and May." He just rambled on, never allowing me time to interrupt. "I loved her truly, and I convinced her to marry me by saying her reputation was in ruins. I couldn't live without her." I tried to process what he was telling me, clear the facts in my mind, but he only continued talking adding on more. "Love is a strange thing for us, for anyone in the Capitol. The world isn't an easy place, especially with cameras watching and looking for the next daily gossip. Yet, knowing its difficult makes it all the more exciting. You and me, my rose, we like challenges. Loving your mother then was a challenge, no matter how easy it is now. For you, loving Darren when he is more interested in May..."

"Loving Darren? Do you honestly think I love Darren?" He watched me as I laughed, finally understanding why he was telling me all of this. He thought I loved without anything in return.

"Then who is it?" That question stopped me. Suddenly my throat was dry and I couldn't make a sound. "Did you think I didn't notice? You've been smiling more, day dreaming and thinking about your appearance before we go anywhere public. Your sister even said that you told Margarita what necklace you wanted to wear once instead of letting her do anything."

"That was for the first night of your birthday celebrations. Of course I would want to wear something you directly gave me."

"Ember, I don't want you hurt. You are in a dangerous position because everyone in Panem wants an in with this family for their own gain. If you love Darren, just tell me, because I know then that the only way he can hurt you is not loving you back for innocent reasons. I don't trust young boys, I was one of them once." My father glanced off to mama in the distance, smiling softly as she played a hand game with him.

"Papa," I turned his face back to me with the palm of my hand. "He won't hurt me. I know you, denying things will do me nothing. Just trust me that he won't hurt me. He's not looking for the President's daughter."

Papa smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulder once more and kissing the top of my head. "So, who is he? A random boy from Capitol Prep, or one of the lesser elite kids who go to the Academy? Maybe he's homeschooled…"

"No Papa, you don't know him or his parents or any family, I promise."

"So, an outskirts boy, huh? You always like a challenge. All right, I'll keep out of this one, my rose, but just enjoy it for a while and know it can't get that far." He was laughing, knuckling my forehead and I just played along. "You should have seen my father's face when I was about your age. There was an Avox girl working in our house, exceptionally beautiful I might add, who I was a tad enamored with."

"Seriously? An avox?"

"A very interesting first kiss, and terrible conversation afterwards." I laughed along with him, tossing a grape into my mouth. "My father let it go onto for a while, then had her transferred. I want you to enjoy yourself, my rose, but if this little romance starts to get in the way of your duties I will have it ended, understood?"

I nodded, making a mental note to find some outskirts boy to play the part. I couldn't risk losing my luck on such a trivial detail. After all, papa was right when he said any Capitol boy would play for the president's daughter. "Understood, papa."

"Ah my little girl falling in love. It does make me feel a bit old. The natural white hair helps hide…"

A high scream interrupted him, my mother's scream. "Coriolanus! Coriolanus! Come quick!" We snapped into awareness, our attention turning to the other picnic set up in the arena. Mother was leaning over a small body trashing on the blanket, moaning and mother trying to hold it in place.

Cory was having an attack, worse then before and we had all thought him cured.

**Best thing I could want for the New Year: Reviews! They keep me so motivated guys!**

**(And 74****th**** games start next chapter :D- the time you've all been waiting for)**


	26. May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

**To my lovely readers who have stayed with me this far: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Today has been a collection of moments in which I snuck away from family to bring this to all of you, so I hope you enjoy! (I was writing at the kitchen table where everyone was talking but then my 10 year old cousin started telling me about how she's read Hunger Games but couldn't stand it so I decided it wasn't a good environment anymore. Also, kids killing other kids on TV is not something your 10 year old should be reading.  
>2011 Thank Yous: Howlynn, Confused-Sprite, Carmencielle. The three of you have become the major reason I write because your reviews are so uplifting and get me just as excited about whats coming next as I think you are! Your predictions have really influenced this story and given me new ideas and when you guess something big I get super excited. (Howlynn… you seem to know everything as soon as I do especially. Makes me incredibly proud of my fanbase's close reading!)<strong>

**Without further ado… LET THE 74****th**** HUNGER GAMES BEGIN! (p.s: I know I cheated and on the title, but nothing worked better than our favorite quote)**

**Chapter 26: May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor**

It hurt to pull myself from Cory's side, his frail body lying in his bed at home after two weeks of little improvement. The Capitol was supposed to have all the cures, all the remedies and no sickness. We all wanted to scream. Cory, Coriolanus Snow Jr, didn't have a cure. The President's own son, the heir to that seat of power, was sick and nothing could be done. If he didn't have hope, who would?

But today, we had to walk away for the sake of the cameras, it was reaping day. I felt a hand on my arm and looked up to see the Avox father had given me after our return tugging me away. She and May's were the only ones who could get us from the room, feed us and clothe us, no one else had the energy. She pointed to the clock that read 8 am. I had told her to get me at 8. In an hour, the train to 11 would be pulling into the District and Thresh would be waiting for me. I had to call Seeder.

I stumbled to my feet, grabbing the Avox's arm as she supported me from the room. "I'll be back, I promise." I kissed Cory's forehead and he grumbled in response.

"I'll watch him for another hour then mama is coming in. She's already getting ready for the reaping so she can be in here until the last minute."

"Are they setting up a dias in the circle?" She shook her head.

"No, but mama said we need to go out on the balcony after it's over Father, you and I are going to the party but mama will stay with Cory." A night of dressing up and smiling seemed the most painful experience of the next few months I could imagine. The Avox pulled me from the room and I thought through any reasonable excuse I could tell Seeder to pass on to Thresh, guilt tormented my mind. I promised him I would be there.

"Leave me." I waved the Avox away as soon as I walked into my room, reaching immediately for the phone. I felt my eyes filling with water as I dialed the number and the phone started to ring.

"Hello?" The voice that answered the phone was sharp, impatient.

"Seeder. It's Ember."

"Ember?" Her voice was confused and her words were followed by a slight gasp. "December Snow? The President's daughter?"

"Yes. Now listen to me. You have to find him. You have to find him before the train gets in and tell him I'm not on it. Tell him I'm sorry and I'll explain it all on the Victory Tour but papa wouldn't let me come…."

"Hush. You shouldn't be calling me, I'll tell him, I'll explain. You should know he'll be disappointed, but understand. He cares for you too much." I couldn't say another word before she slammed the phone off and the line went empty, beating annoyingly.

_He cares for you too much. _I collapsed on the bed, crying, only thinking of him laughing with his grandmother and Trina at the breakfast table, having their reaping feast. Would he already be thinking of me, of where we would meet up? Would he be trying to decide what disguise I would use? I laid down, tiredness overtaking my body and trying to sleep but I couldn't, I just couldn't move.

A knock sounded on the door and I wiped my eyes before calling for it to open. Margarita pushed in quietly, and when I glanced at the clock she spoke in barely a whisper. "I came early because I assumed you wouldn't want to be surrounded by a prep team right now." I gave a weak smile in gratitude, trying to push myself off the bed.

"Is my Avox in the hall or did she disappear somewhere?" Margarita nodded. "Call her in. I want tea and this room needs to be cleaned up. I can't stand it anymore." I was determined to make myself cheerful, brighten up a bit. It was reaping day after all, the beginning of the best season of the year. I heard Margarita passing on my orders, and the Avox scurrying away. At least the girl was clever enough to learn fast exactly how I liked things done.

"Come on. Let's get to work. We only have about two hours at this point. District 1 reaps at noon." She helped me over to the vanity, silently working as tears glistened in my eyes, equally for Cory and Thresh.

The next two hours passed in a flurry of activity. Margarita perfected every speck on my face and hands, while the Avox refilled my teacup forcing me to gulp every single one. She opened windows, airing out the dark room and for the first time in a few weeks I felt like I could breathe.

Walking into the family living room, I could convince myself everything was normal for a minute. May sat in her usual spot up against mother's chair, mother flipping through papers while holding a glass of wine. Papa was talking to Seneca Crane at the living room door, going over the last minute details of the arena.

"December! Come say hello to Seneca." I waved to the Head Gamemaker, crossing the room quickly to shake his hand.

"I can't wait to see your work soon, Head Gamemaker. From what I've heard, the arena will be spectacular."

"What you have heard, Miss. Snow, always surprises me. Will you tell me today your sources?"

"Why, your own meetings with my father of course! How many of those have you seen me in?" He laughed, knowing my father's office was never closed to me. I could get in there easier than May's room.

"I will make the necessary calls before I get into the Circle, President Snow. Your request shall be taken care of, as always." Seneca Crane shook my father's hand once more before leaving the room.

"What request?" I raised my eyebrows as he slung his arm around my shoulders.

"I just didn't want a dais set up tomorrow as the trains come in." He seemed distracted, glancing off towards the window. "Come, my rose, the Reapings are about to start."

I nodded, joining my family on the couch as the screen blared to life, our anthem filling our ears. Caesar Flickerman appeared, sporting powder blue as his color of the year.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the reaping of the 74th annual Hunger Games! Right now, the first reaped districts are reading their history and the people have been gathered in their town squares. In just a moment we will have the go to transfer screens to District 1, our provider for luxury items. While we wait, I've been asked to share an announcement from the beautiful Maribelle Snow, the lovely wife of our President." The crowd cheered and the cameras zoomed out to show the crowd in the Circle waving towards our home. Flickerman pulled a paper out of his pocket and started to read. "The Presidential family shares their excitement for the games and would like to propose that any pairs who successfully dress for the Opening Ceremonies ball tomorrow, will be given front row seats at the closing ceremonies. We would also like to invite an extra 1,000 citizens to the ball and tickets will be given out randomly in the crowds tomorrow as the trains come in. Happy Hunger Games!"

I could hear the cheers from outside the mansion, a real excitement bursting through the crowd. My mother was smart, throwing something new at the Capitol to distract them from our minimal presence. If anyone thought of it they would just assume it had to do with more surprises.

"We have the clear to switch to District 1. As our Lady President said, Happy Hunger Games!" The screen changed immediately, showing the semi-nice Justice Building, glittered with a fresh cleaning. Their victors were lined up behind the District escort, who smiled and dipped her hand into the bowl for girls.

"Glimmer Cervante!" A tall, sexy girl emerged from the roped off areas, soon join by a boy called Marvel.

The screen quickly switched to District two, a girl called Clove who appeared healthy, even for the Career districts. The boy who followed her volunteered and she seemed frustrated at his name. He must be strong and assumed successful by the District.

Tributes were continually called, my eyes focused on the screen as I measured up each one. There was a girl from 4 who seemed determined, and a girl from district 5 who sported the same mischievous smile I had sported myself. The district 7 boy would be gone in a matter of minutes, he was too distracted and was almost crying.

"District Eleven; agriculture." Flickerman's overvoice increased my attention and I leaned forward, hoping to glimpse Thresh in the crowd as the cameras scanned over the town square.

The escort dug her hand around the bowl, and calls forward a tiny girl from the twelve-year-old section named Rue. She was small, looked weak but I thought maybe worth something. Sometimes being small makes it easy to hide. She could score me a couple of points at least.

"Thresh Frawley." My heart stopped as I heard the name, my eyes still focused on the small girl standing behind the escort. _Thresh Frawley. Thresh Frawley, Thresh Frawley. _No. His name continued echoing in my mind as I struggled to catch a breath. Without thought I reached out for my father's arm, trying to grab onto something.

"What is it, my rose? You've gone pale." I tried to pull my gaze from the screen as I watched him walk up to the platform, shoulders back and strong as if nothing was wrong. Seeder seemed shock on the corner of the screen as he got closer, yet quickly hid her fear. I felt my family still staring at me and I stumbled for words.

"It's just… I… him…I know him. We met on one of my trips to 11." May continued looking on curiously as Papa just smugly smiled.

"Well, it's good to remind the Districts that getting in close doesn't save who they are."

_If only you knew how close. _I wanted to punch myself for not thinking it, I should have saved him, I should have thought of it.

The screen shifted to district 12 but Thresh was still all I could see. I vaguely saw a little blond girl get called up, then another volunteer for her. I think it was his sister. I paid no attention to the boy either, they would all be dead soon. 11 and 12 never lasted long.

_Thresh Frawley. _I must be dreaming, I must be. He's strong and he's going to win no matter how much more training the careers have. That's how dreams work, they have happy endings or you wake up.

I felt a hand grab my arm, papa pulling me to my feet. "Snap out of it, December, the cameras are waiting." Panem is waiting, I thought. They are all waiting to see my smile but I didn't feel as if I had anything left in me. Cory was laying upstairs sick in bed, Thresh was going into the Arena, my arena.

Right now, his grandmother and Trina would be walking into the Justice building, trying to see him one last time. Trina, carrying a baby that I couldn't promise would ever see his uncle. I wanted to hurl. Was this what it was like for Districts, pain and suffering? Why had we never seen it before?

Then I blamed myself for not listening. I should have known it would never work, that I was being stupid. I was Capitol, I was the elite and the ultimate victor, the high class and I shouldn't have been frolicking with the inferior. Papa was right, it was fun but sometimes fun had to stop. Then again, why did I feel such pain and sadness? Had my heart honestly broken? Can one die from a broken heart? I felt like I could.

The doors to the balcony was thrown open and I walked out with Papa holding my arm. I smiled brightly, seeing everyone cheering for us, our family, because we were above all the pain and hardships, weren't we?

Like a little girl, I looked to Papa for guidance, seeing his radiating smile, hearing his voice cheer back to the crowd. No matter how much pain I felt, it was my duty to hide it. Finnick's voice echoed in my ears, _Pretend the camera is your friend. _This wasn't just the camera's, this was the entire Capitol. But the Capitol was my friend, they wanted to support me and if I played it right would support Thresh. If I could show the pain, wouldn't they help. If they knew, even though I couldn't risk it for Cory, I could break my false smile for a moment. Success would be nothing difficult, success would be easy.

Welcome to the 74th annual Hunger Games. Let the rigging begin.


	27. All I Ask of You

**Chapter 27: All I Ask of You**

_Share each day with me_

_each night, each morning _

_Say you love me . . You know I do _

_Love me -that's all I ask of you too_

_Anywhere you go let me go too_

_Love me -that's all I ask of you too_

_-The Phantom of the Opera_

I leaned against the window of my bedroom, watching the first trains pull into the Capitol, waiting for 11's seal to appear in the distance. I glanced at my watch, waiting for Margarita to arrive. There wouldn't be time for me to come back between visiting with mentors and opening ceremonies. There was too much to be done.

"When did you become so excited about dressing? I know May spends the entire day of Opening Ceremonies with Drina. We'll do hair and make-up now but we need fifteen minutes about an hour before ceremony start for you to meet me and just slip it on, alright?" I turned and smiled at her, nodding in agreement. "Now, get those clothes off so we can do a quick fitting check."

"What is the surprise color? I've been awake all night with desperate curiosity." The jest was spoken without any excitement, just monotone and blank. I couldn't tell if Margarita noticed.

"White."

"White?"

"Yes. You will be in white, and May will be wearing a similar outfit in rainbow. No one will ever guess that. When they all see you in white during the interview, some will rush home and change into black or red." I struggled a smile while she laughed, motioning for my Avox hiding in the corner to remove the gown from the box.

Feathers seemed to explode, constantly streaming out of the box as layer and layer of feathered skirt emerged. "Margarita, what did you create?"

"A kid who studied under a friend of mine just got assigned to District 12 and I thought this might be a nice contrast to the darkness of the districts he's showing tonight. Come on, try it on. I have your Games gift too."

The Avox brought over the dress, slipping it over my head while I held up my arms. The skirt was wide, pooling out around me with feathers covering the entire bottom half of the gown, the top plain white and strapless. "Girl, go into the closet and grab the diamond set, with the cuffs." The Avox nodded, removing the box carefully and balancing it in her hands.

Margarita put on the jewelry, checking the length of the necklace with the dress neckline before pulling a crème colored box from her bag, handing it to me and I eagerly opened it, revealing a shimmering tiara set with rubies, the silver covered and curving into diamond roses circling the rubies. "We'll style your hair around it then nicely remove it out to stay in my safe keeping until right before the ceremony." I nodded, turning the tiara in different directions to reflect the light. Would that make my eyes sparkle for Thresh?

I sat in silence, letting Margarita work on my face and give all the direction to my Avox. Towards the end I impatiently tapped my foot, desperate to leave the confines of the room. "Alright, you can go, but remember to meet me!" I dashed from the room, my Avox following close behind as I ran through hallways.

"Have a message sent to papa that I'm going over the to Training Center but first send ahead a message that I'm on my way and Daisy needs to have my all-access pass ready for me when I get there." The brown haired girl nodded, rushing off to fulfill my instructions.

Daisy stood up from the desk in the main hall, coming towards me with my key. "Morning, Miss. Snow. Like always, Haymitch wants to see you as soon as possible and Finnick also requested that you stop by at some point. Seeder asks that you stay off the District 11 floor for today, promising it's just for today." I forced a smile, trying to convince her I didn't know why Seeder banned me, and I didn't care.

"Of course, Daisy. I got it." _I'm also the President's daughter. _I took my key, dashing towards the elevator and pounding the button to floor 11.

Seeder was pacing the hall as the elevator door opened, stopping when she saw me. "Did Daisy not see you come in? I told her to tell you..."

"Not to come, but I have to see him. Write me a pass into the Remake center or I'll find a way myself. Seeder, please."

"He's moved on, decided you won't worth it once he was reaped yesterday. You won't find anything there." My heart stopped, and I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes.

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth, little one." Haymitch's voice surprised me and I opened his eyes to see him getting out of an elevator that had just arrived. Seeder must have called for him. "December, go home or come up to 12. You don't need to be here."

"Yes I do! I should have been there yesterday, I promised him I would be! If he hates me, let me hear it myself!" Tears started to form in my eyes. Haymitch didn't lie to me, but Thresh's letter echoed in my mind. _You make me happier then any other girl. If you miss me, know that you are in my heart and always near. Always yours._Had he been wrong, never assuming he would be reaped, never thinking I would betray him? Did I betray him? I never promised anything.

Seeder and Haymitch were staring at each other, as though they were having a conversation inside their heads. I didn't care if Haymitch now knew about Thresh, I only wanted to see him. "Finnick?" Seeder's voice was pleading, as though it was a last resort. Haymitch just shook his head no.

"Why can't I just see him? If he's angry, then wouldn't he want to tell me himself?"

"He already told me he doesn't want to see you." There was pain in her eyes as she spoke, and I took it for pity. They weren't supposed to pity me.

Haymitch wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and walking me to an elevator. I just closed my eyes, crying into him as he pushed the button and we rose up a floor to 12. "You can stay up here until you need to get ready for tonight. Come on, I'll order us some warm drinks."

He let me go onto a couch, directing an Avox to bring him a spiced chocolate and a caramel apple cider for me. He just sat beside him, holding me until the Avox brought the drinks and set them down on the coffee table. He shooed the server from the room, bringing my mug to my lips. "Here, little one, drink." The drink felt good on my throat, I could feel the heat trickling through my body. "You two cared for each other, Seeder made that plain to me, but you must have known it would never work. You're the highest Capitol elite there is, and he's a district boy. I'm sorry, child."

I watched him take a sip of his chocolate, and a strange thought overtook me. "Haymitch, you aren't drinking."

"My tributes have spirit this year. They made me promise to stay somewhat sober." They had to be real fighters to convince him of that. I remembered the girl rushing forward to save her sister and a cold chill crept up my spine.

He said nothing else, just forcing me to drink the cider and holding me until the tears stopped and I was able to replace my outer shell against emotion. Hours ticked by, both of us lost in our own thoughts until I realized it was time to meet Margarita. When I looked up, Haymitch was sleeping and I crept out from under his arm slowly.

My Avox was waiting for me in the hall, immediately reaching to smooth my hair before Margarita could see what I mess I had made of it. I wanted to punch myself for losing time, I had meant to spend the day after I visited Thresh working on sponsors and making deals for his success, but none of that mattered anymore. If he didn't care, why should I?

Margarita made no comment as I finished dressing, just telling me to add a smile. "You look like a glittering swan." My avox made a low guttural sound in agreement, so I mustered a grin before whisking away from the room and down to the chariot holding. As I stood behind the door, my Avox squeezed my hand once, in a way I assumed was to show her support so I mumbled a weak thank you.

My gaze first fell on the District 12 chariot, the volunteer girl sitting proud in all black clothing with a large cape, talking to the blond boy in a matching outfit. They looked strange, and as strong as the first Districts lined up ahead. I didn't see Haymitch, Finnick or Seeder anywhere, but I did see him; Thresh.

His stylist dressed him in bright red, with a flimsy green and brown hat. He must be an apple, while the little girl was a banana. The apple cider in my stomach suddenly made me feel queasy. It didn't take him long to see me too, I was a beacon in white with my shining tiara.

His eyes were still golden brown, rich in color and pain, not anger that I thought I'd see. I knew my face met his sadness, and I started to walk towards him before I felt tears once more and focused my attention down the line. Gloss was waving towards me, but I tried to act as though I didn't see because I couldn't move.

That's when he jumped out of the chariot, surprising the little girl and a few other tributes that were watching. 12 didn't seem to notice, only staring straight ahead in her foolish pride. "Ms. Snow, I hope you might consider sponsoring me." Those were his first words, but I saw pleading in his eyes and beckoned him into a corner where we wouldn't be seen.

"Don't toy with me. If you hate me now, playing nice won't get you a sponsorship."

He stepped back slowly, watching me and looking as though he was trying to understand. "Why would I hate you? Didn't I promise to feel the same way about you forever? I don't break my promises, but you do. Seeder just told me your father wouldn't let you come before the reaping, but once we were on the train she told me the truth, that you didn't want to risk being seen with the likes of me anymore."

"Seeder? I was practically in tears when I called her! I wanted to be with you more then anything! It's not my fault you were reaped and if you blame me…"

"Why do you think I blame you?"  
>"Seeder said…" That's when I realized how we were being played, and he saw it too.<p>

"Blessed harvest, she lied. I've never been so happy to realize I was lied to." He kissed me once, firmly on the lips and I felt my heart melt once more. I would deal with Haymitch and Seeder later, right now I was with him. "Don't forget about me tonight, when out on that stage. I'll be watching."

"You're always watching, and I never forget. You're going to come home to me, and when you're a Victor things will be easier for us, everything is going to be okay, as long as you never leave me. Promise you won't leave me."

Thresh took my hands, placing one knee on the ground and looking up into my eyes. "December Everett Snow, I won't ever leave you if I have a choice. Every night I have, and every day shall always belong to you."

"That's all I could ever ask." I pulled him up into another kiss. "I'll can't get you a new stylist, that apple costume is not the great work you deserve, but I can get suggestions thrown his way. Tonight, I'll declare you, with a few others to avoid suspicion of any rigging, like the boy from 12 who could make it far but won't win."

"And the girl?"

"She makes me uncomfortable, the others will make her as a target immediately, I'm sure. She won't be a problem long." He smiled, playing with the edge of my tiara.

"I have a true princess on my side. I'm going to come home to you, I couldn't dream of anything else." He kissed me once more before slipping away. It was time.

I walked out into the crowds with my head raised high; I heard Caesar shout my name and flounced onto the stage. "Did you miss me?" The Capitol raised their cheers and I curtsied playfully, trying to make sure I didn't loose anyone's attention.

"Alright, Miss. Snow. We are a few minutes behind schedule tonight, so I'm going to cut right to it, who are we watching this year?"  
>I didn't play as though I didn't know, that it wasn't fair to start guessing this early. "1, 2, 5, though I'm not sure about the boy yet, the boy from 12 and 11, definitely 11."<p>

"Just the boy from 12, not the girl who volunteered?" For Haymitch's sake I started to change my mind, then realized that I didn't owe him anything tonight except anger.

"No, she volunteered to save her sister, didn't she? That just shows panic and a lack of the ability to think things through clearly." I smirked once, the Capitol laughing alongside me.

"Very well. To recap for our viewers, December Snow's initial bets are 1,2, 5, 11 and the boy from 12." I saw a few people in the front rows jotting down notes before turning their attention to the rising door of the Chariot garage.

The chariots rolled out slowly, making their way to the city circle and I sat poised, just smiling and refusing to clap until I saw Thresh emerging onto the street. I still kept my face free of emotion but my soft clapping was enough to tell the Capitol that this is who I wanted to win, this was my true bet. A few citizens pointed at me, looking towards the Chariot and making notes. It was working.

Then I saw 12 and my heart nearly stopped. No, I thought, no. What happened to naked bodies covered in coal dust? They were on fire, District 12 was on fire. I felt my jaw drop along with everyone else as we watched the pair roll onto the street, holding hands and smiling, the girl starting to blow kisses. What happened to the fright, the ones who we all knew were going to die?

12 wasn't an easy target this year, they were enemies and I knew Haymitch was ready for a victory. Was that why he lied to me about Thresh, he wanted all the support on his tributes? Thoughts raced through my head but I couldn't take my eyes off the flaming pair. No one could. _I thought this might be a nice contrast to the darkness of the districts he's showing tonight. _I should have listened closer to Margarita. That was my free warning to have done something earlier.

The chariots began rolling in front of me and I waved to my declared districts, seeing my chance to get attention back on Thresh. His chariot rolled closer, and even the little girl next to him was turning around to look at 12. He nudged her, trying to pull her attention away and I silently hoped he would succeed. If everyone looked at their chariot, gazes would shift to what the girl was looking at.

I walked to the edge of the platform, grabbing back the attention of the cameras as I clasped a feather from my dress in one hand, dangling it into the air as the District 10 chariot finished passing, smiling lightly to Thresh and hoping he would catch my plan. Feeling the cameras focused, I was getting ready to drop it when he nudged the girl again, pointing to the feather and pulling her over him so she could reach for it. I tried to give it to Thresh while she reached, but he just kept looking forward, a calm demeanor on his face. With a sigh, I handed the feather to the little girl.

But as I watched the camera's zoom in on Thresh for a moment, I realized he had done something better then my original plan. He was the boy who turned down the President's daughter. He was strong and proud, the best we could hope for as the cameras swiveled back to 12.

I wanted to shoot the cameramen as they spent most of Papa's speech focused on the flaming tributes. They were only on fire for blasted thirteen. I wondered how many were planning to sponsor 11 until they saw them. How was I going to find something to beat that?

A last minute plan formed in my head once more as I noticed my Avox hiding in the shadows and I motioned her forward when the cameras were looking away. In her ear, I whispered a quick order. "Get one of your friends in District 12 quarters. My orders if you get questioned." Her smile proved to me she grasped my meaning and she disappeared quickly.

I will have the winning card.

**Please review! The scary thing is that I am starting to imagine this as a musical movie… that's what assigning songs to chapters does for you!**


	28. Poker Face

**Chapter 28: Poker Face**

_I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas please_

_Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me_

_Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start_

_And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart_

_-Lady Gaga_

"It's not too early to start talking about his angle. He'll want to start using it this morning."

"It's his first morning in the training rooms, let him focus on training." Chaff and I stood toe to toe, him towering over me but I wouldn't let that mean he could win the argument.

"We don't want other tributes seeing it as an angle, it needs to become his personality."

"Haymitch said I shouldn't let you in." Chaff reached to the side for a bottle but I whacked it from his hand.

"Haymitch may have made a deal with his tributes for some drinking, but if you want to mentor Thresh you will not have a sip, or else I'll switch you and Seeder. Do you want to work with a little girl, Chaff?" He grunted.

"I should have let Seeder take him the second she told me about the two of you."

"Excuse me? Training does starts in less than forty-five minutes and I would like some sort of a plan." For a moment, I had forgotten Thresh was even in the room and both Chaff and I turned slowly. "We spent half of dinner yesterday arguing, and yes, December did accomplish something on my clothes but I'm sure there is more we can be doing."

He was right, and I knew that the arguments were a waste of time but it took me over an hour to convince Chaff what to tell the stylist, though I knew Chaff was secretly pleased with the look. The stark white of the shirt brought out the darkness in his skin; the tight form showcasing every muscle when he moved. I just hoped Crane would see the red metal cuffs as my mark, like I hoped he would.

"Alright, Miss. Snow, what angle do you say we go for then?" I walked over to the couch, sitting down and Thresh sat beside me immediately, taking my hand. We didn't have much time left for contact and both of us wanted to make use of what we had. How much time did we have left? Three days of training, interview day, and rest day. The Games began in six days, less then a week.

"Solemn, mysterious, threatening and proud. It already happened at Opening Ceremonies, with the feather, and I've heard good feedback. People want to know more about you, and denying them that will just intrigue them all the more."  
>"She has a point, Thresh. The less you talk the less risk we have of them hearing about you and Miss. Snow. The Capitol will love her attention on you, but if it gets too much then they might suspect game rigging which would not be good." Thresh nodded, silently taking in all our instructions.<p>

"So basically, I say nothing?" Chaff and I both nodded and I was glad we agreed on something.

"And stay away from the careers, you need to be separate, not part of a pack." I was thankful Chaff thought of that advice, it was good. "Today, just try things out, get a lay of the land and watch the others. Find one thing to show off with, but just one, got it?"

Thresh nodded, and a knock on the door announced his escort was here to take hi downstairs. He gave me a quick kiss before Chaff opened the door and he left with the woman while my Avox entered. She tapped her watch, specifically on the number 12 and I smiled, it was time.

"Chaff, I'll be back after dinner. I need to eat with my family and the less I am seen by all of the 11 staff. Tell Thresh I'll meet him, and I want to hear every detail."

"Miss. Snow, you do realize he is already losing? All the buzz is about 12." I wanted to hit him for even thinking it, but I refrained, looking at my Avox and knowing I was about to gain my edge.

"Who are you playing for these days, Chaff? Me, your tribute or Haymitch?"

"Last year all three of those would have been the same."

"Last year, 11 and 12 didn't stand a chance. Last year, you didn't have a chance at gaining anything, let alone Haymitch. Most of all, last year Haymitch didn't betray me. Make your choice Chaff, and for your sake you better choose Thresh and me."

He just nodded, sitting on the couch and flipping on the TV. I knew he would work on getting sponsors as soon as I left, he was just looking to instigate something but I didn't oblige.

My Avox led me down dark hallways on the bottom floors, finally turning into a room with two girls. One was tall, with striking red hair and porcelain white skin. She was in white serving garb and I knew she was my snitch. The other girl looked like a regular outskirts girl and surprised me when she started speaking.

"Miss. Snow, my name is Jenna and Kirsti asked me here to help translate the conversation." She kept glancing nervously towards my avox, the one the girl called Kirsti. It was a pretty name, and I thought I might start using it. "This is Lavinia." She gestured to the red head girl. "Can I tell her your story, Lav?" The red head nodded.

"All three of us live in the outskirts, and Lavinia ran away with a boy once because he told her rumors about the Capitol so they did some bad things and then ran away together. They made it pretty far, almost all the way to District 12 before they were caught, but as the hovercraft caught up with them she saw a girl in the woods who could have hidden here and the boy but the girl was selfish and only hid herself."

"That serves you right for being a traitor." Lavinia just bowed her head, honestly repenting her crimes.

"When they made her an Avox, she was allowed home and Lavinia realized the boy was wrong and she had been wrong in return. The district girl was selfish and mean, just like the screens say they are and in the Capitol they are people who care about Lav. That's why she wants to help you, Miss. Snow. That girl who left her to be caught is the District 12 tribute."

I started laughing, what else could I do? "Kirsti, you are wonderful. You couldn't have followed my orders more perfectly." My Avox seemed to be pleased to be addressed by name and beamed at the compliment.

"Has the tribute, Katniss Everdeen, recognized you?" Lavinia nodded. "What was her reaction?" She charaded a sudden gasp and petrified face. This was all too perfect. "Be extremely nice to her, convince her you are her friend and she will begin to trust you, think you have forgiven her. Have you learned anything about their tactics?"

Lavinia glanced towards Jenna who began speaking. "She explained it to me while you were on your way down. The mentor is telling them to hide their talents, and most of all always stay together. He wants the tributes seen as a set. The boy seems quite fond of the girl, but the girl is incredibly uncomfortable around him."

I tried to find Haymitch's plan, think like him. It should be easy, having been trained for years by watching him work but I felt as though this time he was planning directly to thwart me.

"Jenna, are you employed anywhere, or still in school?"

"No, Miss. Snow. I stopped attending Outer Hall before the last Victory Tour."

"Perfect, you are now employed in my direct service. I've been telling papa I wanted someone who could talk for ages but he keeps saying he'll work on it after the Games. He won't mind if I appoint someone myself." She nodded. "Your duties through the week up to the games will be to bring me any information from Lavinia, she can't be seen with either me or Kirsti too often. You will also carry messages I don't want written down."

I looked over the three girls, all three of them a few years older than me and I realized how much I was like my father. _Surround yourself with people who you know you can fully control. _That's exactly what I was doing.

"Kirsti, Lavinia, leave us." The two obeyed without a second thought, bounding from the room. "Your first message is to Haymitch Abernathy and Seneca Crane. Tell them both separately. The message is: I have a plan, you only have one chance to get in on it."

As Jenna left the room I knew neither of them would send a reply, but it would serve my purpose. Crane would be confused, watching for any sign and it would help him notice the cuffs and my claims on Thresh. For Haymitch, it would put him on edge that I was planning without him. He'll know it's about Thresh, but he won't like it and hopefully he might be distracted slightly.

My head ached with strategy and I glanced at the clock, realizing I had an etiquette lesson with my grandmother in an hour. I groaned inwardly, not wanting to deal with the witch of a woman but I knew I had no choice. The key to success was to play it as though everything was normal, and I was hiding nothing. That way, no one would come looking for my secrets.

**Short and sweet but I'm in final exam mode now so I wanted to get it up while I had the chance (+ I also posted 27 tonight and that one was a fair bit longer than usual so in the end it all evens out:D) We all hate finals, so wouldn't you all love to make my days a bit better with some reviews please?**


	29. One Step Closer

**Chapter 29: One Step Closer**

_Don't be afraid. Let go!_

_Soon as you surrender_

_What's inside will sweep on through_

_As the boundaries raised _

_Between us disappears_

_And every little step_

_Every single step_

_Is one step closer_

_To talking loud and clear_

_-Little Mermaid on Broadway_

"How was training? Who is the strongest? What did 12..."

"December, my sweet December. I already filled in Chaff, you can get the important details from him. Tonight, I just want to be with you. Can't we pretend for a moment that this is all a blessing and nothing more than a chance to see each other?" He came towards me quickly, lifting off the ground and twirling me as if I was a flimsy doll.

"You're stronger then you were on the Victory Tour, but I don't doubt that Cato could throw me across the room. Most of all, we need to learn Katniss's strengths. She looks like she has some secret up her sleeve. Were they dressed the same? How was the boy, Peeta? What about..."

"December, my sweet, my darling girl, no more. Be here with me, not the Games." I started to open my mouth and he blocked all words with a sweet kiss. I smiled, giving in to his kisses and trying to pull my mind from strategy. "You do have one thing to teach me though. When I win and come to the Victor ball I want to be able to dance with you perfectly, in Capitol style. Teach me."

I laughed, dragging him over to the music box on the wall and scanning through the choices until I found a simple dance tune, giggling from his kisses while the box warmed up.

"Hands on my waist." He immediately pulled me in, our fronts to using as he grasped me firm, planting another kiss on my neck. "Not that close, my love. There is a type of etiquette over dating in the upper class that the screens don't really show."

"And how is some lowly District boy supposed to know that? If he's taken by a beautiful woman that somehow he got in his arms, why should he risk letting go?" That time, I kissed him on the cheek with a light peck.

"Now, you count in 9, then repeat the numbers and for the first three sets of counting the steps always stay the same in most dances. Parties like the Victor ball don't usually have perfect dancing, it's one of the biggest parties of the year and not everyone there is used to the patterns. If you learn a few basic ones, then you can just switch back and forth every three." He nodded, never loosening his grip on my waist. "Ok, here we go. 1, left foot to the right. 2, right foot back. 3, half turn. 4, back to start. 5, lift me through 6. 7, down. 8 separate. 9, together. Then repeat."

I continued taking through the steps; slowly adding in the little flourishes Capitol citizens spent hours learning. I watched him mouthing the numbers, carefully watching his feet and slowly gaining confidence to raise his eyes to meet my face.

When he mastered it, I closed my eyes, leaning closer on his chest and the beat of heart overpowering the music. "You are going to catch every girl's eye at the ball."

He didn't reply at first, just placing a single finger over my lips before whispering softly. "Shh. Let me just have you in my arms and feel you. I get to hear your voice all the time, but I rarely can touch you." I smiled as he again tightened his grasp.

Dancing usually bored me, yet I wasn't even bothered that we continuously repeated the same set of 9 counts, solely focused on Thresh's skin against mine, the steadiness of his breathing and the soft gaze he focused on me with, the never ending loving look from his eyes.

"Why do I love you so much?" His voice was teasing, a thin whisper in my ear as the song ended and we stayed still, wrapped in each other's arms in the middle of the room.

"I have no idea." I threw my head back in laughter and he kissed my neck.

"I love you for your smile," He kissed the lowest part of my neck, right on my blouse hemline. "Your laughter," He planted another kiss a tad further up. "Your silly little gem in the corner of your eye, that stupid line you always say on the screens, our similarities, and our difference." He pecked me once for every thought, kisses overwhelming my neck. "I love your honesty, your fear and your bravery, your red strand of hair, your diamonds, the memory of you in Trina's straw hat, your carelessness, and your caution." I barely comprehended his words anymore, a light swoon coming over me though I didn't want to admit how weak anyone could make me feel. "Most of all, I love your love for me."

Tears moistened my eyes, and my voice was but a whisper. "Don't let me go." I couldn't imagine the feeling of his touch ever leaving my skin.

"Never." He scooped me up as I buried my face in shirt, him sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. "I couldn't ever to let you go." A knock on the door snapped me back into alertness, Kirsti slipping into the room and tapping her wrist watch. Time was up for the day and I started to move away slowly. "Don't go, you don't need to."

"Yes I do, you need rest for training tomorrow. The Game makers really start figuring out scores at this point, and you need yours to be high. The higher it is, people will question less if I back you."

"I don't need training right now, I need you." I waved Kirsti from the room, knowing she would head home to meet me there. "I need our time together, right now. Nothing else is worth anything to me."

"We'll have a lot of time in less than a month. Once you're a Victor, no one will care if you are always at my side." I placed my hand on his cheek and he rested his on top.

"Tell me you love me, let me hear it one more time."

I sat back in his lap, wrapping my legs around him as I leaned in towards his ear. "I love you, Thresh Frawley, and I always will." I kissed him lightly, ignoring the single tear running down his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning, the Game makers usually let me peak in on the second day for a little bit." He didn't say anything, just holding my face between his hands and staring into my eyes. "I need to go, you need sleep."

"What sleep could help me now, what training could help me?" His voice was distant, and it tingled my veins. I gave him one last kiss, slipping from the room, frightened that he had already lost hope. Didn't he see everything I was doing for him?

The walk home in the night air was calming, reminding me of that single night in District 11 where I walked under the stars and he found me. I felt warm again as I remembered his witty comments, his teasing as he pretended to not know who I was. I desired nothing more then his strong arm around me again as I walked.

I barely noticed the old woman standing in front of my door for a moment, yet it didn't take long to feel the usual chill once I did. She opened the door slowly, slipping into my bedroom and I followed her. "How was your evening, darling?" Her words were warm, but she used the same cold tone she always did to deliver them.

"Fine. Why are you here?" I had work to do, plans to make.

"I just thought I'd offer you some relationship advice. Come and sit with me." She grabbed my arm fast, jerking me to the bed. "Do you like it when he kisses you? What's his name again, the dirty tribute." I looked at her for a moment, unsure of what was happening. "Ah, I remember. Thresh Frawley." That's when my blood started to run cold, when I felt my limbs struggling for escape.

"Now, now, darling, we can work this out. He must be nice, lying to your face about how he likes you, I'm sure he makes you feel nice while he kisses you, maybe more." Would anyone hear me if I screamed? I hadn't seen any peacekeepers, and my family was out at a party at Crane's. I had timed it perfectly to slip in unnoticed, or maybe she had figured out the timing as well. "Hush, my sweet girl, there's no need to fight me. I know he forced you into it, scared you a bit but that's the danger of the Districts. Whatever he bribed you with will be taken care of. Imagine how Crane will treat him in the arena when he hears that the boy raped my adorable grandchild."

At that, I doubled my efforts, but she was strong for an old woman. As she pressed her hand stronger against my mouth, I bit her quickly, causing her to jerk the rotten flesh away. "He didn't rape me, you know that! What do you really want?"

She smiled lightly, releasing me fully as she walked towards the door. "You married off to someone for the sake of your brother and to never hear from your sorry ass again." The door slammed and I curled up in a ball, seeing Kirsti emerge from a darkened corner out of the corner of my eye as I simply began to cry.


	30. Point of No Return

**Chapter 30: Point of No Return**

_Past the point of no return_

_No backward glances_

_Our games of make-believe are at an end._

_Past all thought of if or when_

_No use resisting_

_Abandon thought and let the dream descend_

_-Phantom of the Opera_

My body was exhausted, yet adrenaline kept me going as I walked down the dark hall. The familiar vial was cold in my hand, yet I felt sweat dripping off my skin as I gripped it tight. I didn't question Kirsti's methods at getting her hands on it, as long as she wasn't caught.

The mansion's silence was terrifying, my heart racing as I entered the guest quarters without a soul in sight. Everyone was fast asleep, the few stationed peacekeepers in my way gone momentarily. I felt a cold smile creeping onto my face as I reached for the door handle, grasping the bronze and turning it slowly. A smart woman would sleep with her door locked.

I crossed the room silently, uncorking the vial and sniffing an icy drop on my finger. This was the perfect one. In a swift motion, I knelt at the edge of the bed, placing my mouth by her ear. "No one will hear you scream."

Her eyes opened in a flash, taking in my face in the shadows. "I thought you would at least wait to visit me until morning." She huffed, turning to face away but I grabbed her shoulder.

"This isn't a meeting to take place in daylight." She sat up straight, a glimmer of moonlight from the window reflecting off the bottle in my hand.

"Well, some one is starting to grow a backbone. Which is that? Fever, shattered ribs?"

"This one is new, grandmother. Four drops thickens the blood stream, painful, but not deadly." I laughed lightly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

There was no fear in her eyes as I hoped, just a cool stare. "You would play with the newest toy, that was always _her_ style too." The way she spat let me know exactly that she was speaking of Aunt Rosa.

"What is it about me that reminds you so much of her? You hate talking about her, yet we never have a private conservation without her being mentioned." I re-corked the bottle, tucking it into my pocket and noticing the small flash of hope in her eyes before it vanished.

"I thought she could be something more than she was. She was a strange child; always lusting after whatever she could get her hands on. She wanted your father's life and luck that my husband gave him. She was cold and jealous of him and Everett because she was too dumb to see that with a bit of effort she could have all of what they did, perhaps even more. Then she found the Crane boy, a few years after your father came into office. They played together often, yet no one caught on because they refused to speak in public. The brat remained silent when we arranged her marriage to your uncle Ansgar." I tried to picture the man who hid from sight in the Capitol archives, and nothing could come to mind. He didn't like to be seen. "Crane only wanted her back when he threatened to tell about their little affair years after the wedding, apparently they had kept it up. He said the child Rosa was carrying was his. We all wanted to silence him forever, but the little whore wouldn't have it and killed herself and the baby so he would have nothing to tell. Right away, the bastard helped organize her memorial and put himself into a place so that if he ever just disappeared the Capitol would realize it.

You are like Rosa. You are too weak to kept living if you didn't get your way, spoiled and constantly desperate for attention. I won't let you ruin this family with this new District toy, even Rosa never stooped that low."

"Stooping low? He loves me, and being loved by him is better than being hated by you all the time."

"Children never learn." She smiled confidently, opening her lips so I could see her perfect white teeth.

"I admit, he's my first love but that doesn't mean it won't work."

"Ah, darling, I didn't mean you learning from your past experiences, I meant those around you." My grandmother laughed as I press on her chest until she lay back down, yet I didn't let go. "You and Broderson would never have worked any way, that's what I told your father. It's a bummer this District boy has to be your rebound toy."

"Why does everyone think Darren and I wanted to be together? I turned him down, I turned him down for Thresh." It felt relieving it say it out loud, incredibly freeing, considering that statement wouldn't haunt me.

"Everyone assumed because they all believe in a perfect world, where nothing is haunting us here in this pretty mansion and that you are just perfectly safe to flitter away your life. In that case, you and Darren could have your petty arguments but be happy together forever. I know the truth, I was here before things got pretty. I saw the blood run in the streets in my fifth year and I won't forget how sudden that was. We were holding control, we still are but you will be the first one to break it."

I just smiled, uncorking the bottle once more and crawling onto the bed for better control once she lost her cool confidence. "Shall we begin, I'm growing bored of your chatter, and I do have things today once the sun comes up." Her eyes willed me to lose courage, willed me to just walk away. She didn't help raise me for me to be a coward. "We'll go slow, one drop at a time. This one," I pulled down her jaw, "Is for fifteen years of barely any presents. I do like presents, especially shiny ones." The blue drop formed slowly on the edge of the bottle, and I tapped the glass once so that it fell into her mouth.

She waited in silence, but I knew how this one worked, I had been in the lab down in the cells while they were working on it. The first drop began work, but so slowly that the receiver would assume what was coming wasn't going to be all too painful. As time went on, she started to smirk as nothing happened that she could feel. I smirked right back.

"Now this drop is for your cold words. Telling me I'm ugly and am going to ruin the family isn't very encouraging." I flicked the bottle quickly, the next drop splattering on her tongue. It took only a moment for the pain to grow in her eyes, her limbs trashing under me but I was ready and held them steady.

"Drop three, I heard this one hurts pretty bad, but not as much as four. We'll make this one for Aunt Rosa, I don't think you were very nice to her either." As soon as the blue liquid hit her lips I stuffed a pillow over her mouth just in time to block the scream as I laughed. "Anything you would like to say, grandmother? I'm completely open to you begging for mercy."

I let her think a moment before moving the pillow. "Perhaps you are a Snow after all. Is that all you wanted to hear?"

"I do like hearing that, but I would much prefer a desperate sob of pain." She didn't respond as my laughter grew so I just administered drop four, the one to paralyze the arms and legs. "That one was for that slip in the dining room a few weeks ago. Your lockdown only partially made up for it, as fun as that was."

"You never gave me one for your dearly beloved." She laughed lightly, not caring that she could barely move anymore.

"Did I forget to mention drop five?" Her eyes grew wide quickly, focusing in on the little glass vial. "This last one stops the blood entirely, so all the pain will be over in a minute." I leaned in so I could look right in her eyes as I prepared for the final drop. "This one is for Thresh, and don't you forget his name."

She didn't have time to form words before I tapped the final drop into her mouth, she only tried to spit it out, but it was too late, the other four had done their work. I could feel her heart rate increase under me momentarily until it began to slow, pumping a beat at a time, barely softer than my own steady pulse. I counted the seconds; they had said it would take twenty. We were down to five.

Five, tears formed in her eyes but she couldn't shape her mouth for sound, the energy was gone. Four, tears turned to the anger I was used to. Three, the veins in her neck turned a dark purple and I couldn't help but smirk at the gruesomeness. Two, her eyes rolled back in her head, turning from piercing black to defeated white. One, that last beat of her heart pounded under before all was silence.

As I slipped off the bed I thought of the cold irony I could create by leaving the poison vial in her chilling fingers, yet in the end I tucked it into my pocket. My grandmother committed a suicide would call for my investigation than was truly necessary.

Kirsti, loyal Kirsti, waited in the hall and silently reached for the empty vial and handed me a cloth to wipe my hands. "Once it is announced in the morning, get a message to Thresh that I won't be able to come to the center. I don't like the idea of breaking my promise to him that I would be there. Also, tell Jenna to get a report from Lavinia and bring it to me." She nodded, mentally cataloging my orders before turning around to head down the back hall. "And Kirsti?" She turned back slowly, eyeing me carefully. "Don't get caught with that bottle. I'd have to deny knowing anything about it, and I do like you." She just smiled before crossing her fingers in good luck and dashing away while I headed back to my room for a few hours of well deserved rest.

**I've been super pumped to get you guys this chapter for months so I hope you enjoyed it immensely! **


	31. No Remorse

**Chapter 31: No Remorse**

_No mercy for what we are doing_

_No thought to even what we have done_

_We don't need to feel the sorrow_

_No remorse for the helpless one_

_-Metallica_

"Papa?" I pretended to rub sleep from my eyes as I poked my head into his office. "I heard voices from my room and I wanted to make sure everything is alright. It's so early."

"Go make sure the Lady President and the other children aren't awake yet." He waved a peacekeeper from the room.

"Papa, what's going on?" I walked over to the desk slowly, Mr. Broderson gesturing for Mr. Kieger, the head peacekeeper, to give me his seat. I took it in a flourish, seating myself as proud as I could.

"My rose, your grandmother passed over the night. The doctors just sent a report that it was a heart attack." For once, I enjoyed to unspoken rule of hiding emotion in public. Everyone in the room took my steady face for strength and not pride. Heart attack, how well did they even examine the corpse?

"Oh papa, why?" I pushed my voice to crack lightly, just enough for a few to notice.

"She was old, almost eighty, even for Capitol standards. Medicine can't cure what we didn't see coming. The doctors say she kept pushing back appointments, her pride saying she didn't need check ups or any pills." I didn't say anything, knowing my silence was less risky then trying to feign sorrow in words.

"Mr. President, do we consider canceling the Games?"

"No, she wouldn't have wanted that. My mother was not a common face to the people. Today is the tributes second day in the center. I want the streets kept quiet and a small service tonight in the city circle for the elite. In the morning, have media prepare a tribute we can play on the screens tomorrow morning. Nothing for the games should change."

"My office will send orders out for mandatory programming in the Districts for the morning, sir. We will also make sure there is no repeat of past _issues._" My father gave no reaction to the reference to the parties in the Districts the night of granpapa's death. Anyways, they now knew better after the hosts ended up in our cells.

"Mr. President, may I make a private suggestion?" Mr. Broderson leaned forward in his chair to my left waiting for papa to clear the room.

"Kieger, you know your orders. Someone get Crane in here as soon as possible." The people nodded, hurrying away as they sensed their dismissal. As soon as the door closed, Tauro started speaking quickly.

"Coriolanus, you know the issues this will cause in the Districts so close to the Games if your mother's death becomes a central focus, right as we are about to celebrate the deaths of their children."

My father stood abruptly, walking towards the office window and peering out at the city circle. "What do you suggest, old friend? Things have become a balancing act so much recently. If we under do it, they will think we don't care about our own families."

"I suggest we use December to our advantage." My father turned slowly, eyeing me curiously. "If she continues to support the Games wholeheartedly, as though little has changed, while the rest of your family goes into mourning we may achieve that balance."

"Her grandmother just died, Tauro! Do you expect her to be able to smile and laugh and play with mentors after this morning? I admire her strength, right now as she didn't break into emotion while the room is full."

"It's no secret after years of parties to the elite that the Mother President and December were not close. Do no deny it, Coriolanus! I know you are hurting from your mother's death; you don't need to hide it in front of me. You've raised a strong girl who will do the best for her country that she can. There is nothing you need to protect her from."

I saw my chance, my chance to pretend that I still mourned my grandmother while I went on with life. "Papa, please, Tauro is right. For grandmother's sake, I will do my best."

He came over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "I know you will, my rose. Now go, and get ready for the day. Say nothing at the center but be back early for the funeral tonight." I nodded, leaving the room after kissing him lightly on the cheek, forcing light tears to my eyes. It was quite convincing.

"Her loyalty is spectacular, Coriolanus. I'm always surprised."

"Hush Tauro, we have work to do."

I smiled. _My loyalty. _I couldn't help but laugh as I walked through the hall. What of my loyalty involved me killing that awful woman? My true loyalty was paying attention all these years, learning the subtle arts so I could fool the master himself. Heart attack, please. I almost wished they could have had a slight hint at poison and run an investigation. That would have been a bit more fun.

I glanced at a clock. Margarita should already be upstairs since I sent Kirsti to get her, knowing I would either need to look pretty for the training center or a day of mourning on camera. If I could be ready in twenty minutes, I could just make it to see Thresh for breakfast, knowing he was safe.

"Make me beautiful, Margarita." I flung myself into the room, feigning exhaust with every step. "I feel terrible today, I need beauty to lighten my dark heart." Kirsti hid a slight chuckle at my theatrics. Margarita bought each word, sitting me down in the chair and clucking at why I was so sorrowful. Capitol citizens were so mindless sometimes. I mumbled that it was a terrible morning, but I promised papa I wouldn't say a word yet.

I struggled to repress my smiles and laughter at each hint of make-up, each curl of hair. How could he not love me, when I am so beautiful, so clever and wise? "Margarita, you may go. Kirsti can finish helping me." I ignored her protests, needing to get away from her words of comfort that were useless. She exited the room after another hug and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Pretenses are not easy, Kirsti. I'm exhausted and it's barely seven in the morning. It is amazing how quickly they found the body, I didn't realize that her staff brought her tea that early. It's good we went when we did." Kirsti's smile shone in the mirror's reflection while she pinned a few more strands of hair into place to finish Margarita's work. "I am running low on that special shampoo Margarita gives me, and it takes a while for the labs to make it special so please send an order for more. Last time I used a different one, the dye from my red strand leaked everywhere else." I smiled as Kirsti nodded, departing the room quickly.

"Lady December?" I smirked as I saw Jenna approaching, and before I could say anything she was whispering in my ear. "The girl, Katniss, Lavinia says she is cold towards the boy but he is incredibly friendly back. Katniss refuses to speak to him when no one except the mentor is around. The boy seems sad when she won't say anything, though. Lavinia said they don't talk much during after training sessions."

"Very well, thank you." I continued down the hall without another word. What was Haymitch planning? Katniss doesn't like Peeta, that could be valuable information and no matter what Haymitch says the two of them seem to be on different agendas that they seem to be creating themselves. It wasn't much, but enough to hope that Haymitch's plan might backfire.

When I arrived, Thresh was staring at Chaff and Seeder, who stared right back, from across the table. The little girl, Rue, ignored all three of them. She was the first to notice me, raising her eyes lightly. Thresh noticed me next, breaking his stare to lean back in his chair smugly. From his face, Chaff and Seeder didn't need to turn around to know I was there.

"Rue, Mitia thought she might be able to help you lower your shyness around the other tributes, didn't you Mitia?" I was starting to feel bad for the District 11 mentor who constantly was playing to my will but she took the hint quickly.

"Come on, child. I'll have you talking in no time." Mitia grabbed the little girl's arm, practically dragging her from the room.

"You shouldn't be here, December Snow." Seeder's voice was cold, obviously still frustrated that her original plan to keep us apart had failed.

"I want to be. I have full access to the training center; I've just never had a real reason to use it before. We have work to do, Seeder, or do you want to see him dead?"

"Your support is making him cocky. Just this morning he wouldn't listen to us, so if he ends up dead it won't be my fault!"

"Maybe he shouldn't be listening to you. How many have you successfully brought home?" My patience was thin, but the harshness shut the mentor up. "Good. Now, Chaff, rip up the edges of Thresh's shirt so it doesn't look so pristine. We want the other tributes to question him." I ignored Thresh's raised eyebrows as Chaff did his work, taking a seat at the table and biting into an apple. I couldn't help but simply wish I was eating it back in 11. "Today, hold back more then you did yesterday, and make sure you learn a few new skills. If you don't appear as strong as yesterday, the others will start to assume your hiding something."

Chaff started to yell, slamming his fist on the table while I just continued to eat my apple. "You are making him a target! The careers will want to get rid of him fast!"  
>"He's a target by mere looks. By playing it this way they will think twice before knocking him out." I raised my hand to silence the rest of Chaff's protests. "Also, and this is the most important instruction, use the spears a bit today. Well you are pulling on out, stop and pay attention to the bottom of the rack. Make sure the Gamemakers, especially Crane, see you looking but don't touch anything except the spears."<p>

"What on earth…"

"Trust me. I will explain more tomorrow."

"Alright, my dear sweet girl. I'll trust you." Thresh stood, the tear in his shirt showing a tense muscle, and kissed me on the lips once before leaving the room to head down to training.

"Seeder, leave us. Chaff and I have work to do." The mentor shot me a dirty stare, but dared not disobey. I barely waited for the door to shut before I spoke. "Haymitch is pushing twelve as a pair, and there might be some to say if we play it right with Thresh as big brother figure to the little girl. Also, if we could find a way to show that the twelve tributes don't actually get along."

"Do you honestly think you can beat Haymitch at his game? After our chat yesterday I cut off my contact with him for this game round, so I don't know exactly what he is planning, but this year he is excited and when he is excited he works fast and well. The best way to beat him is to ignore his game and just play our own. It won't take long for him to catch your spy, and when he does he won't be very appreciative." I thought for a moment, realizing Chaff was right. Even with a spy in there my information was too limited to build a full plan off of. "What we need is to figure out an arena strategy. How much can you give him without too much suspicion?"

"I'll have to pull my past sponsor charts but I would say at most a third of my cuts until we get down to about half, then a majority focus can go on him. The more my cuts go to him, the more sponsors we will reel in. How many do you have so far?"

"Your feather stunt seemed to work well, people are whispering about it though the majority of spoken words might be going to the tributes on fire. Turning you down brought in two from the outskirts, which might just raise some popularity though it's little money. Otherwise we have signed on seven from the Circle and another fifteen from the other sectors. In total, we have twenty four." It wasn't much, but it was a start for a lot more work to be done. "The trick will be keeping him alive. If we have you and his sponsors we could probably avoid the Cornucopia bloodbath and just have him run without supplies. Tonight, I'll focus on teaching him how to scavenge food and medicine so he can run into an area other tributes don't want to go. I'm not sure what it will be, but hopefully we can have him ready."

"You are starting to strategize well, Chaff. Maybe you will be useful after all. Keep him focused tonight, I won't be able to get here. I need to get down to meet with Seneca. Get more sponsors though, we need them in case of emergencies."

"One last thing, girl. You better know that I'm doing this for him, not for you." I just laughed as I walked away. It would be too easy if he was.

**Please review!**


	32. A Boy Like That

**Chapter 32: A Boy Like That**

_A boy like that_

_Who'd kill your brother_

_Forget that boy_

_And find another_

_One of your own kind_

_Stick to your own kind_

_-West Side Story_

I closed my eyes as Margarita brushed on a thin layer of eye shadow. For once I was happy it was a simple party, not the interviews and the smiles on cameras. I wouldn't have the strength tonight from nerves. Luckily, people would take my pale face for the loss of my grandmother; sometimes I can hear May weeping down the hall. It's almost been twenty-four hours since the funeral; I shouldn't have to fake it anymore.

Tonight, I would know if all my work had paid off. Tonight, I would finally know if he had any chance like I thought. I wanted to be with him, curled in his arms as the training scores were announced, but duty called.

"You're done. And don't continue being late or I'll get fired for never having you ready in time."

"Please Margarita, a Snow is never late. Everyone else is simply early." I smiled, flicking a strand of hair back over my shoulder.

"Who told you that, your father?"

"My grandmother actually." The crazy old women did have a few words of wisdom. Margarita gave a weak smile and silently cleaned up the make-up while I left my bedroom and walked to the party room a few floors below.

"So, December Snow, you still considering making a joint sponsor team?"

"I never was considering it, Broderson." I hated how he emerged from the shadows constantly, sneaking up on me whenever I walked into a room. "Shouldn't you be keeping May company? I thought boyfriends were supposed to comfort in times of need." He followed my gaze across the room, noticing May clutching onto my mother and lightly wiping her eyes. What did she see in the old witch anyways?

"I've been comforting her for almost two days now, then I wondered who was comforting you?" He raised an eyebrow before we smiled at a passing couple and waved lightly. "You haven't been in the mansion a lot."

"The Games are on. I'm never home during game season."

"Even during your grandmother's death?" He leaned in close, whispering in my ear. "Stop being strong for everyone else for a minute. My father told me what he and the President are having you do."

"Didn't your father tell you why? I wasn't ever close to her."

"Why do you never just be yourself?" He touched my hand and I recoiled quickly.

"I thought you moved on Broderson. I don't need you." My voice was sharp and I just continued walking, noticing the eldest Crane boy standing in the corner. They might be able to put in a few words for me, or know something I don't.

"Who is he? We are old enough now that you have to want someone in your life. Who is he?" He followed my focus, shaking his head. At least he wasn't dumb enough to think I desired an eighteen year old.

"No one, Darren. I don't work on that agenda." I waved to the Crane boy as I caught his eye, motioning him over towards us.

"Good job Broderson, two twins must be better than one." In my impatience, I hadn't noticed the Broderson had grabbed my hand once more, and as Abet got closer, he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"That twin connection makes it impossible to keep one happy if the other isn't." The two boys laughed and I slipped from Darren's grasp quickly.

"Then I shall take this one from you if you need help." Abet reached out his hand and I took it lightly, eager to get away and work on support for Thresh. As Darren began to protest, I gestured towards May who was glaring in the corner. A small happiness filled me that the boys were fighting over me for once. Tears bring you nothing, sister.

"My father said you were very upset with him today. I do hope you won't blame me." Still feeling Darren's eyes on me, I pushed into Abet a bit closer. "If I had been there I would have made him see reason. I wish my internship could start this year."

"Be glad this is your last year of education. To think that I still have three in that building. I don't blame you, but I won't be forgiving your father anytime soon. I was counting on a sneak peak on the tributes yesterday and he denied me, even though I get it every year. Then today he wouldn't even let me down to training level. I was intercepted by three Gamemakers and sent back upstairs. I don't like being sent places very much."

Abet laughed, so unaware how much I needed to be there. "I don't think you would like that at all. Father told Keith to be nice to you tonight and dance with you to make up for it. I thought I'd save you first."

I smiled, taking his arm firmly as the dancing finally began. There were few boys who were easy to dance with. Abet Crane was one of them, but Keith Crane was definitely not. "So, who are you betting on this year?"

"It doesn't take you long to get down to business. I was hoping we might discuss your bets first so I could alter mine accordingly."

"In my favor, of course."

"Being my father's son doesn't get me any more information then you have. The whole building might as well be wired to you, you have so many resources. You give me a fact, and I'll give you one."

"Fair game. Girl, 12's token is from another tribute who died in the 50th."

"Boy, 9, screamed while being shaved."

"I knew that. You'll have to do better."

"Alright. Girl, 12, is a fair singer." I didn't like that he focused in on twelve, proving I wasn't the only one watching that girl.

"Girl, 2, has a talent for knife throwing. She trained with a Victor."

"Boy, 7, has fathered a child that the girl aborted with poisonous weeds."

"Much better. Now you get the game. Let's see… I got one. The girl, 11, needed training to speak to others."

"11? I do hope you don't know my prize secret." I leaned in eagerly, ready to mop up every word and perhaps disprove it if necessary. "The boy spends a lot of time talking to Haymitch Abernathy when no one else is around."

"Haymitch? What could he possibly need Haymitch for?" I could feel my face growing red, my entire soul ready to dash from the room and hit both of them.

"Don't know, but it is interested isn't it? Maybe they are arranging an alliance, but the boy refuses to partner with careers and alliances are usually made mentor-to-mentor. It's quite peculiar."

"Very peculiar." I tensed my lip, trying not to scream in frustration. Either Abet was lying to me, and his past information never proved false, or Thresh was disobeying my direct instruction to stay away from that measly district.

"So, give me your updated bets."

"Training scores aren't up yet." I stayed with a simple answer, no longer wanting to play the sneaky information game when so much was at stake.

"They will be in less then two minutes. Tell me and I'll save a eight percent cut for the district of your choice at the end. It's not much, considering I can't bet a lot due to father's position but it's something."

I only agreed because if Thresh was letting Haymitch pollute his mind, he would need every cent I could get him. "1,2, boy from 3, girl from 5, 11."

"You've dropped the boy from 12."

"I don't trust Haymitch, especially if he's getting nosy with other districts. "

"Fair. Now, shall we see how right you are on training scores?" I nodded, shifting towards a screen as the lights began to dim.

The photos seemed to switch slower then usual, my eyes just waiting for his dark skin and golden eyes. There is a ten in District one, the boy from 3 bringing in a rather low five. The girl from five takes a eight, high for a non career district. They show Thresh before the little girl, my blood rushing as I wait for the number to appear below him. 10, just what I expected. Tributes to 'find' those swords were always rewarded for possessing a keen eye. I ignored the little girl's seven, the 12 boy's eight not meaning anything to me. Then she, that bratty coal-mining girl who is lucky to get dressed up pretty, is filling my vision and a number begins to flash. 1. I had never even heard of someone getting a 1. My major threat was solved. Then I heard the awing of the crowd, the chatter picking up fast and I look again, seeing double the number. 11. How could that idiot pull in an 11? I looked to Abet, but he looked just as shocked and I knew I wouldn't find my answers there.

"Darren!" I hadn't even realized I was shouting for him until he appeared at my side, and I instantly regretted it. No one was better at analyzing training scores then Darren Broderson, the walking game encyclopedia, but I shouldn't have involved him.

"You don't like that girl, do you?"

"Not a bit." I grabbed his arm, pulling him into a corner. "Tell me what you're thinking, tell me every little minuscule thought running through your head."

"My first thought is wondering why you are so agitated. You never have an exact tribute that you need to worry about rivals for this early. You could still bet on her."

"It's complicated." I stared at him coldly, trying to force out information.

"She has spirit, right? We saw that when she volunteered. My guess is that somehow she displayed that in there, not brute strength or a certain talent. Haymitch didn't get that high of a score in the 50th, but we do know his only talent was spirit and the Gamemakers were open to it. He probably gave that advice to Katniss."

"She needs to go, she needs to be the first one out. I don't trust spirit." He smiled, trying to make me look him straight in the eyes. The moment I did, his face fell flat.

"It's a tribute! I knew you were acting funny this year, different in your pre-game strategies. You've been participating, not watching and now I know why."

"What are you talking about Broderson?" I tried to move away but he held onto me, pulling me out a side door and into the hall.

"Which one? It would be one of your bets, so that leaves four boys. Tell me!" My face must have been enough to convince him he was right. He pushed me against a wall, holding my face so I had no choice but to look at him. "If you won't tell me with words, I'll make your eyes do it. You always show emotion in those blasted grey eyes. Marvel?" He waited a moment, staring at me before moving on. "2?" I focused in on a spot on his nose, trying not to change my stare. "3?" When I remained motionless, he looked disgusted. "You have got to be kidding me. Just tell me before I have to get the confession out of you. Tell me you'd rather have a stupid district planter kid instead of me."

"His name is Thresh." I raised my leg slightly to kick his shin, which was enough for him to drop his hands.

"I'm competing with a district boy? Are you serious?"

"You could forfeit. Didn't you say you were moving on?"  
>"You realize he is going to die. Then it will just be me, though I don't know how I could ever feel about you, knowing he's touched you. Tell me he hasn't kissed you?"<p>

"Look in my eyes, Broderson, if you are so good at reading them. He's kissed me, we've been together for a while and I'm going to keep him alive, if I have to murder 12 myself."

"That explains your constant desire to go to 11 for the reaping. I didn't need to suggest you get a paramour, you already have one!"

"He's not a paramour, he is a boy I care about and you will do well to remember that dare you ever try to cross me on it!"

"Do you realize what your doing? A boy like that is a threat to you! He'd get rid of your brother the moment he had the chance! If we kill them, shouldn't we worry that one day they might strike out at us!"

"Thresh is no lousy rebel! If he was, how could he care about me the way he does? He is loyal to this regime!"

"How do you know that? Sure, he's professed loyalty to you in moments of passion, but what about your father and your brother?" _Our president can't see past his nose. _I wanted to shut Thresh's words out of my head, but I didn't know how. "December, how do you know he isn't getting close to you to take his chance if he's already set to die, how much worse would prison for treason be? How do you know without a doubt that if he had an open shot at Cory and a gun in his hand he wouldn't fire? How do you know?"

"I do, Darren, just trust me that I do. He cares about me, and he knows I love Cory. He wouldn't hurt Cory." I ignored the tears running down my cheek, trying to forget about the secret that was slowly slipping into common knowledge.

"Look, I hate seeing you cry. Stop it, please." He used the edge of his sleeves to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Would it be so bad for a moment to just fall in love with someone you can have? Trust me, I know it's painful to love someone you can't be with. I also know that pain in exhilarating, I get a high off of it every time I look at you. But most of the time, it's suffering. Choose something else, stick with your own breed and let him stick with his. It's just plain logic."  
>Sure, it was logic, but I never liked logic. Thresh was a suffering exhilaration, and I couldn't imagine life without it. "Maybe you should decide who you want, Darren Broderson. I'm sure May is already missing you."<p>

"Do I detect jealously?"

"Only logic. If you're judging my relationship choices, why shouldn't I judge yours? You know, I'd never fall for you anyways now seeing how you play my sister. We aren't right for you, Darren Broderson. It's time you stuck with your own breed of slime." With a final kick, I got free of his grasp and fled down the hall.


	33. Name of the Game

**Chapter 33: Name of the Game**

_What's the name of the game?_

_Does it mean anything to you?_

_What's the name of the game? _

_Can you feel it the way I do? _

_-Mamma Mia_

I could hear voices coming from the room to my left as I walked down a dark part of the 11th floor. Anger flooded through my veins as I recognized the voices, clarifying that Abet had told me the truth.

"How dare you go against my orders!" Both of their faces just looked shock as they startled. Thresh started towards me but I gestured him to stay. "Both of you! I've been working like an Avox and you two have been making secret plans behind my back!"

"December…" I tried to ignore the pain in his voice, holding up a hand for silence.

"Thresh, leave us and get to Chaff. I'll deal with you later." He didn't say a word, realizing it was pointless as he slunk from the room.

"I'm disappointed in you Haymitch. You've never gone behind my back before. What do you want from him? He doesn't know what is good for him, he's not knowledgeable about the games like you and I, and so he wouldn't know how to tell if someone is hurting him with bad advice. Why Haymitch? You used to be on my side, how does one girl change that?"

"It's both of them that changes that. Twelve needs a victor that isn't me." His gaze was distant, just staring at a wall across the room, like I wasn't even there.

"Why shouldn't 11 have one? I love him, why do you want to hurt me so bad? I can't imagine seeing him die!" I walked towards him slowly, the thud of my steps gaining his attention.

He sighed, patting a seat on the couch next to him. "You should have stayed out of the Districts. I've told you time after time that..."

"I don't care what you've told me! I don't have to listen to you!"

"You are a child!" Haymitch grabbed my arm, pulling me down beside him so that our eyes matched levels. "Stop forgetting that for a moment and think this through. You can't save him on your own. They dress you up and make you look all pretty and mature but it doesn't hide the fact that you are just fifteen!"

"What about your tribute? She's sixteen and you think she has a shot! You won at sixteen!"

"There's a difference." His voice was matter of fact, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I lack to see it." Haymitch started a reply before cutting off the sound, realizing hearing him wasn't worth anything. "You've lost my blind trust Abernathy, and whatever you wanted from me I can't believe I was a fool for so long to trust you enough. I'm so sorry I ever thought you were on my side."

"I am on your side!" Haymitch took my hands, tugging them until I looked back at his face. I just pulled away and stood abruptly.

"Then be on my side! Stop sneaking around behind my back, stop trying new plans with your tributes that I don't understand! Stop setting them up to win and leaving Thresh in cold blood!"

"They have a chance, I can't abandon them."

"Then keep them and Thresh separate, don't let them cross in the arena. When they die, then you can forget them and move on."

"What is so magnetic about him for you? Why can't you step back and see a bigger picture?"

I paused for a moment, trying to come up with one exact thing about Thresh that stopped the world turning. There were his golden eyes, and his light laugh. I couldn't forget about his deep voice or endearing smile. "I love him, does that mean nothing to you!" Why couldn't Haymitch just see what love meant. Hadn't he felt it before? _There was a girl, named Selena. _Finnick had said. _They were in love._ "Just because your outskirts paramour..." The second I looked into his eyes, I regretted my words.

"Exactly. Didn't you ever think that I was trying to protect you?"

"When was trying to break my heart by telling me he didn't love me protecting me?" It was my first time directly confronting either of them, yet something about the way he looked at me made me realize maybe they hadn't been aiming for hurt.

"Seeder and I decided it would be better for both of you, if this ended before we got this far."

"When did you get the right to decide what's best for me?" I was sick of people telling me what to wear, how to smile, and most of all how to be.

"When I know what it feels to lose someone, and I decide you don't need that pain." Haymitch grabbed my shoulders for a moment, lightly shaking me before he stalked out the door.

"Where are you going?" I called after him down the hall, running behind as he got into an elevator.

"Screw Katniss and her bloody deals, I need a drink." The doors closed and he disappeared when all I wanted to do was punch him. I shuffled down the hall, entering the common room to see Chaff and Thresh, heads close together on the couch and whispering urgently. I cleared my throat.

"Chaff, leave us. I'll send for you to finish coaching later. I can get him started."

"Are you sure?" The regret in his face told me he knew, that he had known the entire time.

"The cameras are my specialty. Leave." I couldn't muster the energy to think straight, let alone be pleasant. Chaff moved quickly, shutting the door with a loud thud behind him. "What were you thinking, Thresh Frawley! I told you to stay away from the twelve tributes, so why in the world would you go towards their mentor?"

Thresh stood slowly, wrapping me in his arms as I lay my head on his shoulder. "I was thinking that I need every shot I can get. I was thinking that I was doing it for you."

"For me? What in the world has Haymitch been filling your innocent mind with?"

He let go abruptly, moving a way in two long strides. "I'm no child, December! I've spent years toiling in fields, feeding my family. My life wasn't a life for a child. I have a mind, an ability to make my own choices."

"You've promised me you'd come home, and making secret bargains with other districts won't help you fill that promise? I never trusted Chaff in all of this, I expected him to do something stupid, but not you!"

"Stop it! You've never gone into the arena, but Chaff and Haymitch have! All you know is the best way to bet and send nice little silver parachutes. You think that you can get me out safely with some money and begging, but they know you can't! For once admit you don't know everything, admit you can't do everything because your father has you wrapped around his finger! Admit it!"

"I am not his to order around! I answer to myself!"

"Then ask him if he truly doesn't know what you did, two nights ago. Ask him if he doesn't know you poisoned her!"

"How do you know?" My voice was weak, sick of arguing. He wasn't supposed to know, no one but Kirsti should know.

"I saw it in your eyes, I saw your glee when you first came to me afterwards. I don't like your father, I won't lie that I don't, but he is smart and I doubt he fell for such a foolish trick." Thresh was wrong, my father thought it was a heart attack, he was too much in grief to not trust the doctors.

"Why did you kill her? You're better then that, December Snow. You are better then all the petty citizens in this bloody city, yet you committed murder!"

"I did it for you! She knew, she was going to tell the game makers. She was going to say that you were forcing me, make sure they punished you in the arena! I silenced her within a few hours before she could do anything! I didn't do it so you could throw away your life so stupidly!"

"Why can't you ever trust me? I've given everything to you, everything I have to give and now I'm ready to give you my life! "

"I liked the life I had before I meant you, but I choose to add you into it! You were right months ago when you said things would be easier for me with a Capitol boy, with Darren, who by the way professed his love for me and knows about us…"

"Knows about us? You told him! He loves you, so I'm keeping him from you and you told him?" Thresh pounded his fist on the coffee table before collapsing on the couch.

"He figured it out! Why would I tell him?" I sat down beside him, trying to touch him but he flinched away.

"Do you love me, or do you love the games? I'm starting to wonder if there is even a difference." His jaw was set tight, the menacing man I had been trying to create the last few days showing.

"Of course I love you! I'm doing all of this so you can come back to me!"

"Why? So I can be your toy? I won't want to live here forever, hiding in back rooms!"

"What did Haymitch say to you to make you hate me so much?"

"Hate you? I hate you? I'd been fine with these games if it wasn't for how much I love you! Maybe there is a different way to save you." Thresh stood, crossing to a window and peering out.

"Save me? From what?" He said nothing, his shoulders relaxing as I walked closer.

"Forget it. I have to meet with Chaff for instructions for tomorrow night. Didn't you say yesterday that you have a meeting this afternoon?" I would never understand his mood changes, never understand how he could be so angry then so loving as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the lips lightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, after the interviews, like you promised."

"Thresh, are we alright?" My voice was shaken, too weak to make much sound.

"I love you, I swear. Now go, I don't want you late on my account. Any last advice for interviews?"

"Be strong, make them want to know more and keep them puzzled. Curt answers, that's it. Stay menacing." I stood on my tiptoes, kissing him once more as he squeezed my hands goodbye.

I jumped in fright as I exited the elevator on the lobby level, Broderson leaning against the wall across the door. "I came to make sure you'd be on time to our fathers' meeting. You were up with him, weren't you?" Not knowing what else to do, I nodded as I tried to walk past, his strong hand grabbing hold of my arm. "I did some thinking last night, about you and your paramour. I'll cut you a deal." Deals were my specialty so I stopped trying to pull away, listening intently. "I'll sponsor the district kid, on one condition; you agree to fall for me. My original offer still stands, you can have your paramour."

I thought for a moment, seeing a way out with some extra cash. If both Darren and I agreed on a bet for once, the Capitol would fall head over heels to support us. "After he survives. Until the end of the games, I'm focusing on him. You can do whatever you want, just give Thresh money and this deal stands the moment the final cannon blares. Deal?"

"Deal." I shook his hand, a tight smile on my face. I felt as though I had just sold my life, but in a way I was gaining it at well. Who knows, maybe Darren will decide not to fall for me and I'll be free, with my one true love forever mine.

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	34. Just a Kiss

**Chapter 34: Just a Kiss**

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_

_So baby, I'm all right with just a kiss goodnight_

_-Lady Antebellum_

"You should be happy I convinced May to have your mother send orders to your stylist. The two of you should keep some eyes off of District twelve tonight." My blood cooled as Darren snuck up behind me, slipping a hand into mine.

"So this was your doing? I did wonder why my mother suddenly cared."

"I convinced May that she deserved more attention and the best way to get it was to make both of you something…" He wet his lips, running his hand up my arm "new."

I snorted lightly before checking myself and placing a hand over myself. New was right. The gown, or not even a gown at this point, was long in the black with a slit up my front, the train made of fresh roses dyed multiple colors. I never went for the latest capitol styles, mother had been determined May and I stayed elegant. Somehow Broderson played them both. "You did well." I pulled away from his touch, moving towards the opposite end of the balcony. "Aren't you up here on May's invitation, not mine?"

"Soon, it shall be on yours." He glanced to the side, making sure no one was looking before kissing my hand.

"When he comes out alive, that was the deal."

"Very well, my beauty. I won't forget to claim my prize in the end."

"I know." How many days did I have left? The games usually lasted about twenty days, meaning I had less then three weeks before I lost my soul. What would Thresh say when he comes out? Though, if he makes secret deals with Haymitch, why can't I make my own?

Again, my mind started flowing with worry, as I desired to know what had been discussed between them. I replayed both conversations over and over but all I found was where they lost their tempers instead of giving me patience. _Maybe there is a different way to save you. _The only thing I needed savior from was Darren pesky Broderson, yet I made that choice after Thresh's words.

I saw the mentors moving into their seats, Chaff giving me a curt nod and I replied with the same. "My rose, will you sit beside me?" I tore my gaze from the back of Haymitch's head, settling into my seat on my father's right with a light smile. For once I didn't think of how Cory should be sitting in my place, everything else was going as planned.

Caesar Flickerman came onto the stage below us, smiling in the usual midnight blue suit before introducing the tributes. I constantly looked towards the door, waiting for Thresh to emerge, while laughing softly to my father's whispered comments in my ear. I breath I didn't realize I was holding was released when Thresh walked onto the stage, following Rue who was dressed in fairy wings. His black suit was perfect, tightly fitting his skin, the fabric giving off a slight shimmer as the platform lights hit him. Every other tribute was dressed brightly, their stylists vying for attention but Thresh's darkness caught his own attention.

Until twelve walked out, until that stupid girl showed up in a jeweled dress that looked like fire, and the boy in a practically matching suit. It was high time I met this Cinna and Portia. They were making things complicated. A hand rested on my shoulder from behind, giving me a moment squeeze before releasing, I didn't need to look to know it was Darren.

The interviews seemed to drag on, some notable lines being said but nothing that caught my attention from my boy in black. I started taping my foot impatiently as the little girl fluttered around the platform in those frilly wings, my heart racing as her buzzer sounded.

"May I have a round of applause as we call up our next tribute, Thresh Frawley of District 11?" I clapped my hands lightly, the Capitol below our balcony hooting and hollering, a very good sign.

Thresh stood calmly, a stern gaze set on his face as he walked with confidence to the seat beside Caesar. "So, Thresh, I understand you come from a field hand family. Can you tell us anything about your family back home?"

He didn't respond for a moment, gazing towards me in the balcony while I saw pain flash in his eyes for a moment, my mind remembering the sweetness of his grandmother, imagining Trina pregnant with her first child. "They are all I have left." Caesar prodded him for more of an answer, but Thresh just maintained a stony silence. I glanced over the rail, noticing multiple citizens at the edge of their seats, dying for more.

"What are your favorite things in our brilliant city so far?"

"One thing."

"Do you care to elaborate?"

"No." The audience laughed, even my father joining in.

"That one has spirit, doesn't he my rose?" I smiled, allowing him to take hold of my hand as I continued watching.

"A ten in training is rare from a district like 11. How are you feeling about your chances in the games? Do you plan to win?"

"Yes."

"How?'

"Ways." Another laugh from the audience as annoyance started to form in Caeser's eyes. I couldn't tell what they were enjoying more, Thresh's stony silence or how much it aggravated Flickerman. Either way, it was working.

"Alright then, what about a girl? Is there anyone waiting for you to come home a victor?" Thresh's sly grin set my heart on fire, and for a split second he cocked his head to the side like he was thinking his own little joke, there was not a sound in the audience. "Thresh?"

"Yes." That's all he said, Caesar trying to just manage a hair color from him, and even as he switched to other questions, Thresh just shook his head, the same sly grin never leaving his face until the buzzer sounded. He didn't wait for Caesar to dismiss him, he just actually walked back to his seat and sat down as they called Katniss forward.

She was a sight in that grand dress, but now that I could hear her talk I realized she was a fool. She answered questions with stupid giggles, I couldn't help but snort at her ridiculous answers, and the brains I imagined on that girl couldn't possibly exist. Haymitch might have told her to act dumb, but that wasn't getting her any sponsors. I didn't worry at all until they started talking about her sister, the one she volunteered for. "Her name's Prim. She's just twelve. And I love her more than anything."

"What did she say to you? After the reaping?"

"She asked me to try really hard to win." If anyone below moved, I would have heard their clothing fabric ruffling in the silence of the City Circle.

"And what did you say?"

The girl I hated returned as she prepared her answer, Katniss's jaw locking and her voice dropping low. "I swore I would." The buzzer went off, but the Capitol kept applauding after she sat down. I was supposed to be the attention of the cameras; I was supposed to be the one who controlled the cameras, not this district brat.

"We'll play up the twirling fool, don't worry." Darren's voice was so soft in my ear that even my father didn't realize he was speaking to me. I reached my hand behind my chair just to squeeze his for reassurance. It was all going to be alright.

Peeta started his interview, the Capitol laughing the entire time while I watched my father fix his gaze on the girl. In that moment, while Caesar asked Peeta something about a girl back home, I realized I had an ally in hatred with my father. Though our reasons were different, perhaps I would hold an advantage.

Then all hope left me as I heard Peeta's words, thought they were distant and confusing as I felt my heart sink in my chest. "Because…because…she came here with me." The crowd practically starts crying as the screens focus in on Katniss. Peeta loved, loves, Katniss. I could see it in his eyes that he isn't lying, and by her blush I could tell she didn't know. Haymitch's plan clicked into place, he had realized the boy's affections and turned it into an advantage.

It was a strategy that could have worked for me, a strategy that I should have foreseen, that Haymitch should have trusted me with. "December, come on. December." Darren tugged on my arm, forcing me to stand as the tributes stand for the anthem along with the rest of Panem. Thresh is watching me, I can feel his eyes but I can't look away from the screens that still show Katniss and Peeta. Poor tragic lovers from the Districts separated to never go home together. Poor tragic tributes that Haymitch created. I couldn't help the blood boiling in my veins, the anger raising as I realized how much I was betrayed.

The anthem ended and the tributes filed off the stage, and I pushed away from the crowd on the balcony, Darren following at my heels. "December, Ember!" He grabbed my arm again, tugging me down a hallway. "Listen to me! You knew Haymitch was planning something and now you know what it is! You did the right thing; I know what you are thinking. People like this lover mischief in the Districts, but they won't accept that from you! You are still saving him. No one will forget him, I promise. Go to him now, don't talk about twelve, just keep him calm for the morning. I'll cover at the party long enough for you, but don't be out too late or my excuses will run thin."

I nodded, disappearing without another word. Thresh was waiting for me in his room, the suit already off and he wore clothes that reminded me more of the him I knew back in eleven. "You were amazing, Thresh. They all loved you. You were perfect, incredibly mysterious and people will want to know more all through the games. That smile when he asked you about a girl was perfect, hiding a perfect secret."

"You are a perfect secret." My forced smile dropped as he hugged me, and he noticed. "Twelve did what they had to do. Don't feel guilty for not professing your love for me. It is what it is, and we still have the winning hand, because for some reason I now think I have Darren Broderson on my side."

"What?"

"Chaff mentioned this morning he signed onto my account as a permanent sponsor. What did you say to him?" Before I could answer, a small knock sounded on the door.

"Thresh?" The voice was little and I recognized the sound of the little girl, Rue.

"Rue? What do you need?" Forgetting to lock the door behind me, the girl was able to push in. "I was hoping that…" She stopped as she saw me, Thresh still holding me in his arms.

"It's alright, Rue. You can stay in here tonight. I'll be back in a while, make yourself comfortable and try to get some sleep." He patted her on the top of the head as he pulled me from the room. "Any idea of a place we can go, with little disruption?"

"The roof. Follow me." I led the way down the hall, as he told me more about the little girl.

"She's a sweet thing, the oldest of six who are a field family as well. My grandfather always liked her father as a boy, and before he died he would help watch the babies with me while our parents worked in the fields. I stopped babysitting when I turned ten and got my own job in the field, and never spoke to them much after my grandfather died. She's used to sleeping in a bed with other children and has had trouble sleeping on her own the last few nights. I told her she could stay with me, that's why she came in."

"You never mentioned before that you knew her so well."

"You never asked. Anyways, everyone in the districts is related to everyone somehow. She's just as small as the girl that twelve volunteered for, but she had no one. Letting her spend the night alone seems cruel when I could give her that one wish so easily." He stepped in front of me, pushing open the door to the roof and I felt a cool breeze whip across my face. "Forget the little girl, let me spend tonight with you one last time."

"I can't stay long, Darren is making excuses for me at the party but my parents will start to ask too many questions." We walked over to the side of the roof, hand in hand looking down on the City Circle streaming with people. From up here, the eccentric outfits looked like costumes.

"Why is Broderson sponsoring me?" I sat on one of the ledges, knowing the force fields would prevent us from falling.

"I made a deal with him, like whatever deal you made with Haymitch. You tell me your deals with Haymitch and I'll tell you mine."

He thought for a moment, before breathing out a small phrase. "I don't kill his tributes, they won't kill me." I got a strange sense that there was more, but it was a start and I at least knew now the brat wouldn't hurt him. "December, tell me what I'll be returning to. What life have you set up for us?"

"When Darren told me he cared for me, he told me he was seeking a marriage alliance for our families, that we could do whatever we please behind closed doors, but we would be married in the eyes of the Capitol. When he found out about us, he restated his offer and I accepted on the terms that he would sponsor you and help pay your way home. I'll be all yours except for in front of the cameras, and I'll be supporting my brother."

"You agreed to that, for me?"

"I wanted to when he first offered in, to move you into the Capitol but then it didn't make sense. Now that you are reaped and will have to be here at least once a year, it's the best I could ask for." I couldn't tell if he was happy or not, yet his eyes glistened with tears.

"My love, my darling, my sweet. You've done so much for me, but is this right? IS this what you want?"

"I would have to marry someone eventually anyways, for the sake of Cory. At least Darren loves me though I don't care for him, and he'll let me have you." I kissed him, his lips feeling like soft cream in the finest cakes. I barely heard the door from the building open, Thresh pushing me behind one of the generators as a shadow appeared on the floor where light struck from behind the door.

"Stay down. Don't be seen." In confusion, I followed his instructions as he walked away from me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone was up here. Usually this is the only place I can truly be alone." I recognized the voice instantly; it was Peeta Mellark.

"I need to go. Can you promise to look the other way and not turn around as I leave?"

"She's up here with you, isn't she? Haymitch said you had a girl here to, that I wasn't the only one about to lose something. You are a lucky boy if she came here with you. I'm sorry to intrude."

"You meant no harm. Haymitch told you of our deal then?"

"I won't raise any weapon against you for more then self-defense. I'm sorry confessing your love won't work in your case. Haymitch didn't tell me why; he just said it wouldn't work for you. Whoever she is, I hope you can save her like I'm going to save Katniss." Was Haymitch working for me all this time, then? Trying to make lover boy feel sorry for Thresh because he was in a similar situation?

"Then you swear Haymitch hasn't said a word about her identity?"

"No, he wouldn't say. Will you make me one more promise? If Katniss dies, and you have a clear shot, kill me. Go home to your girl, because I can't imagine going home without mine." I gasped, my location given away and I heard footsteps walking close to the generator.

"Peeta, please don't look. I trust you, but not those that you care about enough to tell."

"Katniss? Most of the tributes don't trust her. Sometimes I'm even amazed that I do. She hit me tonight you know. The first thing she did when we got back was hit me. I won't be sad to die for her, because now I know that's all I ever be able to give her."

"Turn away, and I'll get my girl out of here so you can have your peace." I heard s shuffling of feet walking to the other side of the roof. "Come, my sweet, it is time for us to go."

I poked my head out, seeing the outline of Peeta's back farther down the roof. I took Thresh's hand, letting him lead me away from the rooftop and back down into the center. "You should get going. Talk me up at your party will you?"

"Of course. I'll come by in the morning before you get on the hovercraft." He wrapped me in his arms, kissing me harshly before letting me go. I didn't want to move away, I just wanted him to never let go.

"I love you, December Snow. I always will. Tomorrow won't change that." I smiled, knowing he spoke the truth.

"I love you too, Thresh Frawley."

**Next chapter: Let the Games Begin**


	35. I Should Tell You

**This chapter is in honor of 50 days until the Hunger Games movie! If you haven't seen it yet, check out the new trailer released today because it made me cry **

**Chapter 35: I Should Tell You**

_Trusting desire, starting to learn_

_Walking through fire without a burn_

_Clinging a shoulder a leap begins _

_Stinging and older, asleep on pins_

_-Rent_

I didn't care that the little girl was watching us, I didn't care that anyone was. I couldn't bear to let go. "Our hovercraft is scheduled to depart in eight minutes. We must get the tributes up to the roof." Thresh held me close to him as I readied to last out at Mitia. How hard would it be to postpone the beginning of the games? How long could I push off this moment?

"I don't know why you are so clingy this morning. I'm coming home, you said so yourself." He smiled lightly, and I just gazed into those golden eyes. I would see them again, for eternity beside me. How long were we parting for, only at most three weeks? We had been parted much longer before.

"I've just gotten used to having you so close to me this past week."

"Well, this time you'll get to watch me when I can't see you. I'm sure you'll enjoy that change." He kissed my forehead as Mitia impatiently tapped her foot.

"I will immensely. Do you have your token?" He nodded, slowly pulling his grandfather's handkerchief from his pocket. It was my first time getting a clear look at the rag, the edges were frayed and the entire cloth was spotted but it was all he had that was small enough for the arena.

"It needs one more thing." Thresh ran his fingers through my loosely hanging hair, playing with the red strip before tugging out a single piece. I was so focused on his eyes that I barely felt the pull. "Now I'll have a bit of you, and him. Imagine what he'd say; December Snow's hair is in my handkerchief."

"We need to go, now." Mitia's voice was like a tiny bug, one I wanted to squash more then anything. "I refuse to be late." The others started walking towards the door, Thresh's eyes darkening as we followed them, knowing it all was real.

"I don't want you to leave me. You're hands are so warm." Everywhere he touched was like burning fire on my skin, and I wanted his touch anywhere as long as it existed and I could feel that burn. In front of me, I saw Mitia push the elevator button, calling for a car to take them to the roof.

"I'll be back, you and the Broderson boy are going to take care of me well." In a distant thought I heard the elevator ding, saw the others step into it but I couldn't move or think as Thresh pushed his lips on mine.

"Frawley, it's time to let her go." I ignored Chaff's hand that came to rest on my shoulder, desperately embracing Thresh. He was right, he would be back soon and then no one could tell us to step apart and let the other go. We would belong to each other.

"There is so much I wish I had told you." Hands were pulling us apart, Chaff holding me while Seeder dragged Thresh to the elevator.

"You'll just have to tell me when you come back."

The door started to close and I couldn't help but lunge for him as Chaff held me back. "I will always love you, December Snow."

The door closed and he was gone, too far away to hear me but I whispered back anyways. "I love you too, Thresh Frawley."

"You should be getting back to the Mansion. Your parents will want you there for the party on time." Seeder's voice seemed to lose all the warmth it once knew, and I couldn't help but shiver.

I simply turned away, calling for an elevator to bring me up to twelve. I still had some unfinished business. "Haymitch! Don't pretend you aren't still here!" I heard a bottle clank from the common area and I walked in, twisting my hair up onto my head. He came up behind me, tucking a rose into my hair gently.

"If you are searching for an apology, you won't find one here." His voice was gruff, alcohol from last night no doubt still wearing off.

"I'm not stupid. I'm here for answers. What did you tell Thresh?"

"You were on the roof last night, you already know. Peeta told me he ran into your boy up there, said he was hiding a girl behind one of the generators. Peeta said they talked about the arrangement." Haymitch sat down on the couch, leaving plenty of space for me to curl up beside him.

"It has to be more than that, it has to be." I could hear the desperation in my voice and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"That was our deal."

"It's never that simple with you, never." His touch felt cold and unknown, like it was district trash touching me. Yet, he was district, like Thresh, and somehow I had found warmth before. "Did you truly love her, was she everything to you?"

I rested my head on his shoulder while he took a deep breath. "I had a girlfriend when I went into the Games, and I lost her when I came out. I thought I loved that girl, until I met Selena. She was so fragile, so beautiful and she meant the world to me."

"What was it like to lose her?" It was the first time I let my panic show, I allowed myself to feel it.

"Not easy, and I pain that, believe it or not, I don't desire you to feel." Haymitch pulled away his arm, standing abruptly as I reached out to grab him.

"You should tell me what you are planning."

"Little one, I should tell you a lot of things." In that moment, as he disappeared into a side room and I heard the lock click behind him, I decided the thing I hated most was when Haymitch Abernathy had the last word.

...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the 74t Hunger Games Begin." Templesmith's announce was met with a large cheer in the party room, my mind focused solely on the screen in front of me. It was time, sixty seconds until gong sounds to send tributes running. In the back of my mind I felt Darren step up beside me, no doubt his eyes focused on the same person. I had entwined all three of us.

The gong sounded and they were off, running for supplies in the Cornucopia. Somewhere, there should be a sword for Thresh, if only he could find it. He dark skin glistened in the sunlight while he raced forward, going for nothing noteworthy. Chaff was supposed to tell him to stay clear unless it was a straight shot. Why was he running in?

The cameras quickly focused in on Clove, who held a knife in throwing position. The lens panned out far enough for us to see Everdeen grappling over a backpack with one boy, 9, and cheers erupted as Clove hit him in the back. Everdeen grabbed the pack and dashed away from the arena center. My face lightens as Clove lunges another knife, aimed for Katniss's head, but she raises her backpack in time before disappearing into the woods. I wanted her dead now, gone and finished.

I searched anxiously for Thresh in the footage, half mindly watching another two tributes die. A glance at Darren told me he was watching every tribute's movements for me and calculating our bets. I didn't have time to focus on the angle of a throwing arm.

Then his face filled the screens and I gasped as those golden eyes captured my soul. He had found the sword, a touch of blood dripping from his hand that he must have cut reaching for the blade. Then I noticing the girl sprawled on the ground below him, my heart skipping a beat as she raised a rock in her hand. Thresh was faster, pummeling the sword into her stomach before grabbing the rock and crashing the skull. I glanced at the scoreboard on the left wall, seeing the District 7 female's name black out and Thresh's name scoot a bit higher on the kills list. He looked at the broken body for a moment, touching his hand lightly to the edge of the white handkerchief peaking from his pocket before looking up into the sky. _I did it for you. _I knew what he meant.

As quickly as he came, the screens shifted away and I cursed lightly. "A kill December, early in. That's what we needed."  
>"I should be in the training center, where I can watch Chaff's screen and focus on Thresh."<p>

"You should be here, talking up support for him, Chaff's job is to watch that screen and he will. I'm getting in line at the betting boxes for when they open up for the next round. Did your father sign over his account to you again?" I nodded, never taking my eyes from the screen as Darren spoke. "Alright, I'll spread out bets between the three accounts evenly, I have your password with me so yours won't get signed over." I didn't bother to say thank you, or even respond as he disappeared.

Everything happened so fast; I barely even saw the tribute lunge for Thresh as he raced off in the opposite direction of Katniss. Thresh was ready, grabbing the boy and snapping his neck before continuing on, disappearing into a large field. The camera zoomed in on the tribute's face and I saw it was District Four. We had a career district dead, on our hands by brute strength alone on the first day. Money betted on that boy was now flowing into Thresh's account and that boy had been popular, he was from four. Moments like these were golden; moments like these gave us every right to sponsor him without question.

I remembered the feel of those strong arms holding me, those hands that could snap a neck for me in a moment caressing my face lovingly. My fear from the morning slipped away as I held my head high, walking towards my father who beckoned from across the room. Thresh was strong, already knocking out two. He could win on his own, but he had me as well. We were the golden pair.

**Hey guys! Updates are going to be taking a little longer because I'm re-reading Hunger Games and trying to outline the events of the Games in the right order so please be patient! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	36. Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm

**Chapter 36: Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm**

_I'll be so happy to keep his dinner warm_

_While he goes onward and upward;_

_Happy to keep his dinner warm_

_Till he comes wearily home from down town. _

_-How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying_

Only a little more then forty-eight hours into the Hunger Games and I already hate Seneca Crane. One hour: he doubled prices for parachutes for the first day. Nineteen hours: he banned me from telling Chaff what to do. Twenty-two hours: Katniss sat up in a tree right above the careers and he didn't drop them a hint she was there. Twenty-seven hours: the boy from three began re-rigging the land mines from the platforms and he didn't reactivate them to blow up again. Thirty-one hours: he had me removed from the headquarters. Removed, as in dragged out by peacekeepers removed. I still don't think that is legal. Thirty-one hours and five minutes: he made Haymitch help carry me out. Fifty-three hours: he let Katniss find a water supply. I was not appreciative.

"It's official. District Three education budget is cut." I half sat up from my stupor on the bed in my room, eyes focused on the giant screen I had brought in.

"Good riddance. That child should not know how to assemble a bomb. Imagine if the idiot accidently set on off and killed a poor peacekeeper on patrol." At least that annoyance was somewhat dealt with. Though, it wasn't enough to make me smile.

"You can't honestly still be upset with Crane. I heard he did send Abet over to apologize." I grunted in response, desperately waiting to see my Thresh on the screens, but I never got what I wanted. "Come on, he's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" I finally turned away from my vigil. "First, I would like to point out that Katniss Everdeen is still alive when there were multiple opportunities to shut her up, and Peeta's little lover boy act with the careers is sickening, so he should get blown too."

"We already talked about that. If it comes down to it, Haymitch's deal between Peeta and Thresh might protect him if the careers attack."

"Which they won't, because even the cameras don't like that field he's hiding in. I've seen barely two hours of him these past few days, and both moments were just him carving the days into a tree and taking naps."

"It's perfect for the Capitol. They all are turning bets to him because they don't think anyone in their right mind would touch them. They might not know where the money is coming from, but they can see how much he has."

"He made Haymitch carry me out." I said it under my breath, but it didn't go unmissed.

"Really? That is still what makes you the most upset?"

"Haymitch lectured me after! I hate being lectured! He's not even Capitol, he has no right what so ever to tell me how to behave."

"Once Thresh is out, you won't have to listen to anyone anymore, my beauty. You'll have all you've wanted." As he reached for my hands, I thought for a second that perhaps we could work, Darren and I. We might just work together. "December, for your own sake, turn off the games and sleep for a while. It will do you good."

I shook my head, blocking him from the remote. "Abet did say one thing worth his trip this morning. His father said there was going to be a bit of fun in the woods around nine o'clock, and I'm hoping it will lead to Katniss's death." I smiled, beckoning Kirsti from the darkest corner of the room to call for food. Darren jumped in surprise as she disappeared silently.

"Does she ever leave you alone?"

"No. Not since…" I didn't finish my thought as the screen shifted from the Career pack to Katniss asleep in her tree as I squealed in delight. Crane's attack was rigged for Katniss, possibly the careers as well. We held our breath for a moment before it began, animals dashing around the forest floor and the fire descended.

She awoke slowly, before quickly fumbling with her belt that would be her death. Darren squeezed my hand in anticipation as she fell from the tree, dashing away from the wall of flame. She ran, the smoke making her breathing labored. For a second I thought she would make it, but that was when the real fun began. The first fireball missed her, but I got my wish a few later when it hit her leg. Until she stood back up and kept on running. That was not what I wanted at all.

"One solid hit! Is that too much to ask?" I couldn't bear to watch the brat survive anymore, flinging myself from the room to go downstairs to check on Cory. I found him wrapped in blankets on the couch, looking at a magazine over May's shoulder.

"Cory, brother, you should be sleeping." It was late, late for any child to be awake, let alone one so sick.

"I've been in my room so long, Papa and mama are sleeping. Don't send me back." I sighed, sitting on his empty side. He must have slipped down here hearing May in the living room, her heart too full of pity like mine to banish him once more.

"All he can do in his room is watch the Games. Enough people already that are obsessive over that sport surround him; he does not need to be the same. For example, ever since the tributes arrived in the Capitol, Darren has been running around placing his bets and barely paying attention to me. I guess I shall have to get used to it though, the understandable neglect. When we are old, his time will be for Cory, not me." My sister laughed lightly.

He hasn't told her. She doesn't know. The thought haunted me, the thought of my wedding day that I had come to begrudgingly accept when I would be standing in the place she still believed was hers.

"May, think about it. His life will go the state; you could find someone equally wealthy with fewer duties. We are only sixteen, and Darren is not the only one out there."

"I've made my choice, as mama made hers. She has taken on her own duties, has she not? I can't be the wife of the president obviously, so I'll take the second best. I'll manage the home, care for the children and…"

"But he'll never be home, it doesn't matter how big the mansion is. He'll be in the office." I didn't say he'd be in the office because his wife wouldn't care if he was home or not. Darren Broderson. The boy who waited upstairs in my room for me to come back from checking on Cory, while I had to listen how his ex-girlfriend thought they were getting married.

"And when he does come home, I'll be waiting for him, with dinner warm on the dining room table." I had never seen May smile the way she did now, so light-hearted and just happy. She honestly cared for him, and I was taking that away.

Coming home to me would be like coming home to an empty home, maybe a child or two greeting him with smiles, but would they be his? Would I even consider waiting up for him? Would I even care if he were back or not? No, but Darren knew that. He offered it all first, he offered that life to the both of us before picking May for a while. Darren didn't want that perfect little wife May was destined to be. He wanted me.

I kissed Cory goodnight on the forehead, slipping away while May was lost in daydreams. The path to my room seemed shorter then ever, frustration pounding each step. "You haven't told her. Why haven't you told her?"

"Told who what?" He looked up from mixing a tea slowly, like nothing in the world mattered as he lounged on my bed.

"May, my sister. You haven't told her about…" I gestured with my arms; unsure of the word I needed "this."

"How do you expect me to tell her when I don't even know what this" He mocked my gestured as I sneered back "is. Why don't you define it for me?"

"How about the stupidest deal of my life. Do you realize she is down there practically planning your wedding?"

"Exactly. That's why I like you better. You have a bit more of a… spitfire attitude. It will keep me entertained in my old age."

"Any of it directed at you will be frustration."

He huffed in annoyance. "Would you like me to tell her? Don't tell me you are getting possessive now." I didn't appreciate his shrill laugh, my entire mind just wanting to focus back on the screen.

"Tell her when you like. She always yells at me anyways. Maybe you'll even decide you prefer her."

"Is that what you hope?"

"I hope a lot of things." The only noise after I spoke was the steady clunking of the teacup as Darren tapped its side before the screen changed.

Thresh was lying out on his back, looking up to the stars in the unobstructed sky. "I leave you with your paramour then." Darren shifted the bed slightly as he stood, practically stomping from the room.

It was like being back in District 11, out in the fields with the sun warming our faces and his fingers intertwined with mine. I reached for my fiddle, bowing a simple lullaby as Thresh's eyes fluttered before shutting closed and his chest rising in steady breathing. The cameras zoomed out to show his food and supplies neatly stacked.

Tonight, I would sleep with him in my dreams and hopefully I was in his.


	37. Bring Him Home

**Chapter 37: Bring Him Home**

_You can take, you can give_

_Let him be, let him live_

_-Les Miserables_

I finally realized that he might die. Seven days, it took me seven days.

Kirsti shook me from pleasant dreams into a dark world, pointing to the screen. He was awake, circling the District Five tribute, the girl snarling as both waited for the other to make a move. Somewhere, Darren would be watching the screen, deciding how to calculate this into our favor. She was one of our side bets.

She sprang first; yet he stepped aside fast enough to miss the blow. I was holding my breath as she charged again, seeing a small dagger clutched in her hand. Templesmith's narrations gave me a headache. I didn't care about his analysis of the moment, I just wanted it over.

She cut him, not deeply but enough to draw a few drops of blood. Thresh didn't seem to notice, scooping a rock up from the ground, tossing it back and forth in his hands while she watched intently. "Take what you've already stolen, then get out of here."

"Why? I could just finish you off now and take everything." District Five laughed, but her face fell quickly as he chucked the stone at a small animal peeking out from under a bush. The skull cracked and the rabbit lay dead. He didn't waste another moment in picking up a second rock, slightly larger than the first.

She turned around, dashing away from the field quickly. I laughed as Thresh gave a smug smile. Intimidation was key. Kirsti released a breath she was holding as he settled down onto a rock and drank some water. A small parachute drifted from the sky, delivering a fresh apple that glistened in the sunlight. He didn't wait a moment before sinking his teeth into the juicy fruit. It had to be Darren's work.

"Kirsti, its time for me to embrace the day. I have work to do." District five ran away this time, but I didn't like how close she had gotten. That bet needed to be pulled, publicly, to ward off other sponsors. She began punching in a breakfast order as I warily brushed through my hair. It felt like ages since Margarita styled it for the interviews, though it hadn't even been a week.

I stared at myself, seeing slight circles building under my eyes and my cheeks had lost their usual rose shine. I was tired; there was no doubt that it was all taking its toll on me, but why? Why wasn't it easy? Thresh was going to come home alive, he could kill a rabbit by tossing a rock. There was nothing to worry over. I dabbed make-up on to cover the paleness, putting on clothes with little thought when there was a knock at the door.

"The President requests that Miss. Snow eats her breakfast with him in his office. He sent orders to the kitchens earlier this morning about it." The messenger said nothing more, not bothering to wait for a reply. I sighed, letting Kirsti touch up the make-up with her patient hands before walking downstairs.

"There is my rose. I have barely seen you in five days. Tell me, what makes the Games so much more interesting this year that they keep you locked up in your room?" He laughed lightly, moving from his desk to a table for two by the office window already set for our meal.

"If only those tracker jackers got Katniss too this morning. Then I would be happier."

"Of course. Shall we eat?" I nodded, clicking on the screen by the table as I sat down. "Only you wouldn't be able to do anything without having the Games on." I looked towards him once I was sure nothing important was happening.

"It's only once a year. I like to enjoy it while I can."

"Give me a little less than an hour of attention. All I do is hear about the games and get calls from the game makers. Give me a moment without work." He didn't wait for my response as he turned the power off the screen once more. I felt guilty, as though I was breaking a promise. _I'm always watching, my sweet. _Didn't I owe it to him to always watch over him now?

"The doctors said that Cory should be out of the house and moving around normally again in two days time, this morning. I know it's the Games but he has been trapped in his room mostly since we returned from 67. Promise me that you'll go to visit him."

"Of course I will. I'll watch part of the games from his room today." A knock sounded at the door and one of the home guards stuck in his head.

"There is a call for Miss. December on the home line. It is the young Mr. Broderson and he says it's urgent." I sighed. I gave him control of the joint account for a reason; I didn't wish to be bothered over the petty things. Thresh was fine, probably still eating an apple in peace.

"You can take it at the desk." Papa watched me from the corner of his eyes as I answered the phone.

"December, we have a problem."

"What?"

"You aren't watching?" Before I could call for papa to turn on the screen, it lit up with an important content message. There was Thresh, his jaw locked and his eyes focused on the ground, never blinking as he watched a serpent circle his feet. "I don't know where it came from, it just appeared about five minutes ago. He didn't notice it at first, but the screen zoomed in and I immediately starting monitoring it." It had barely been twenty minutes; twenty minutes of neglect and there was snake. Just what I needed as reassurance.

"It's just a snake, it can't be that bad." I barely noticed that Papa was still watching me instead of the screen as Templesmith began narration. _Confirmed; this snake is not a mutation species. _I released a breath, knowing it couldn't be bad at all if it wasn't genetically enhanced. Medicine would be cheap. _However, I bet soon he will be wishing it were. This is a rare field snake that's poison is slow acting, if bitten he will have live in peace for about three days before intense headaches and eventual death after approximately six days. _Darren said nothing on the line, knowing my heart was racing as I watched that thing slither in circles while Thresh couldn't move. "Be ready to order medicine right away, we can't take chances."

"That's the problem. I went to do that, but medicine prices have gone way up. We could afford it but it would mean a couple days with out food help if we want to be saving up for another big thing he might need later."

"Up? Why?" As I collapsed into my father's desk chair, I wanted to throw something, wanted to reach through the phone and shake him to his senses. He had to be wrong.

"We are seven days in December and down to the final ten. Things get tricky." That was when the snake struck, two fangs flashing in the sunlight before they pierced his ankle.

"Darren! Do something! Now!"

"I'm ordering it, hang on. We'll figure out extra money somewhere." I heard the tapping of keys as he worked frantically, watching the snake slither away as Thresh wrapped a piece of ripped cloth around the wound. He'd nurse it for a few hours no doubt, then after no apparent side effects he might assume it isn't poisonous. How wrong he will be. "The order won't go through, this item has been banned from the purchase list." I was speechless, tears misting in my eyes as I couldn't look away from his golden eyes, loaded with confusion. "A feast, Crane wants to plan a feast. Think about it, December. Peeta is already cut bad and needs medicine. That's why it's a slow acting poison, so Crane has time to make other tributes need things too." He was right, and I hung up the phone before I dared admit it.

Sometime the world might feel as though it is slipping away, turning out from under your feet. That's how I felt standing in the office, glancing to my father's questioning eyes. He sat in his chair as I abandoned it, that power I was so used to rising in his shoulders. How could I do practically nothing, how could my hands be tied when Papa's never could be? He seemed oblivious, signing some order that could very well be signing a life away. I had watched him do it before, and a thought struck. If he could kill, could he save?

"What are you thinking, my rose? You've gone pale."

"Can you save someone, in the arena? Could you order them back alive?" His pen dropped from his hand like lead, spreading a thick ink line across the table.

"What in the world do you mean?" My throat was tightening, panic beginning to settle.

"If you wanted to, could you tell the Gamemakers to make sure a certain tribute wins the games?"

"Perhaps, but how could they stop another tribute from killing that one?"

"They could kill any tribute who got close." I was determined now, and I think he could hear it in my voice. There was no going back, even if I didn't want to tell him any longer, I had still left it open for discussion.

"Who do you have in mind?"

"Thresh Frawley." We watched each other in silence, neither moving. "I met him on my first trip to eleven, he was the boy who gave me the tour. He's strong, so no one would really suspect you helped him out and…" I was rambling, trying to fill the silence with meaning and understanding.

"My rose, my darling rose. You've lost so much in the past weeks, I know, but I can't do anything. I shouldn't have pressured you so much at your grandmother's death to keep up appearances." He was shrugging me off as a girl weak like May. Already his attention was back on the papers covering his desk. At least it was something to work with.

"Please, bring him home papa. I've lost grandmother and after our discussion I cut things off with that outskirts boy," I almost smiled at my own cleverness as I recaptured his attention. "and I just can't bear the thought of losing another friend right now. Please, papa."

He stood slowly, wrapping me in his arms, a gesture that was rarely used. "I can't my dear, there are strict rules against setting an early winner, and it's too unpredictable when dealing with living beings. I could order the game makers not to touch him, order them to give the poison but that wouldn't stop another tribute." I started to cry, realizing I had risked a dear secret for nothing. "I can promise you one thing though. About ten years ago there was a District family that gave a lot to spend their son's last moments alive with him. We were able to inject a small amount of chemical that put him to sleep enough to convince the attacking tribute that he was dead once he received life-ending injuries. We hovercrafted him out and the family were waiting in a catacomb. I can't promise you his life, but since you never had a chance to say good bye to your grandmother, I'll let you say good bye to him, only of course if you can't get him out alive yourself, which I'm sure you will do."

Papa was right, I didn't need a promise of protection, I had already given Thresh everything I could. Knowing that if all failed I could hold him one last time was no comfort, for that promise wouldn't be needed.


	38. I Feel Pretty

**Chapter 38: I Feel Pretty**

_I feel charming_

_Oh so charming_

_It's alarming how charming I feel_

_And so pretty_

_I can hardly believe, I'm real_

_-West Side Story_

"Dance with me!" I reached for Darren's hands, pulling him to the center of the room.

"What?" He wouldn't budge, his feet planted into the floor of the party room.

"Dance with me." I smiled, giggling like a common girl as I twirled around him once, enjoying the flow of my skirt.

"Why?"

"Because I want to dance. I just feel so much like dancing."

"Did you switch twins on me? Who's attention do you want to capture?" I stopped spinning, staring at him and seeing a dazzling reflection in his eyes.

"Please Darren, just dance with me." He walked with a new spring in his step, leading me towards the dance floor gracefully. I couldn't explain the glee in my heart, the blood rush in my veins as the throb of the party ignited me.

I laughed as he spun me, dancing to the pulse of the Capitol as we all waited for the feast to begin. "You are beautiful."

"I feel pretty, so very pretty. Tell me how pretty I am." My golden dress caught specks of light while I danced, reflecting into Darren's eyes as he watched me, a curious gaze plastered onto his face.

"You are the most beautiful thing in the world." I could see May glaring from the corner, and I ignored the fact that she still didn't know. "Will you always dance with me in years to come, or will you not accompany me at all?"

"Don't ask me about the future. Right now, I'm too happy to even think about it." Life seemed distant from me, like a comedy on the screens of the happy girl whose life couldn't be real. I barely felt Abet ask me for a dance, barely felt Darren handing me off, I was too much in my own world.

Twelve days of success, twelve days of everyone else dying but my Thresh. The headaches from the poison seemed minimal, and tonight he would get his medicine. Tonight, someone else was bound to die and we would be. Of course, Thresh and the district five girl were the only ones without a pair due to the rule change, but the little girl would have been a nuisance to protect as well. Six left, and six was nothing.

I snapped back into awareness to feel Darren pulling me from the room, leading me through the halls soundlessly. "Darren! We'll miss the feast!" I giggled non-stop, a strange feeling making my hands tingle as I raced along with him.

"We have an hour, we'll be fine." I breathed in a welcoming scent as he opened the door to the rose garden, my childhood surrounding me in arms of comfort.

"This is Papa's garden, we shouldn't be in here."

"Where else do I take the rose of the Snow family except where the beautiful buds bloom?" I giggled again, letting him wrap his arm around me as we walked through rows of colored flowers, silently breathing in the perfect odor.

_"Papa! Papa! Where are you?" My head barely could see over the endless bushes, my vision filled in a rainbow of colors. _

_ "Here, my favorite rose. Follow my voice and you'll find me." He continued talking to me, his voice overwhelming my senses along with the smell._

_ "Papa, the roses smell like you." I took long breaths as I followed his laughter, winding through the bushes for what seemed like eternity. I found him in the farthest corner, sitting on the stone pathway in front of the white roses. _

_ "Come here, my rose. This is the smell of home, of family. This is the smell of happiness." _

_ "It's you, that's what I'll always think of." He laughed again, scooping me into his lap as I grabbed for the rose lying beside him. "Papa, it hurt me." I held up my bleeding hand for him to see and he kissed it lightly. _

_ "Rose have thorns, they always will. The thorns protect the beauty, they make sure that no one steals it for more then the flower is worth. Come, we must pick roses for the breakfast table now, or we will be late." He stood, helping me to my feet as he reached for a pair of gardening shears and approached the white bush. "One for May, one for your mother, and one for Cory."_

_ "Where's my rose, papa?" He tucked the three roses into his jacket before placing me on his shoulders and walking towards another corner. "You are a big girl now, almost six. It's time you got something different. Cover your eyes." I did, playfully peeking through my fingers as he placed me on the ground in front of a red bush. "Now, one for December." He cut it quickly, using the edge of the shears to clear it of thorns before tucking it into my hair._

The roses were my beauty, my thorned beauty that made me so unique. Darren watched me with soft eyes and I realized my power to entrap, and smiled. I was beautiful, I was radiant, and I was a blooming flower.

His first kiss was tentative, soft and barely noticeable. The second one was powerful, forcing me to back up a step as he came onto me. My heart skipped a beat, and I kissed him back, his lips enticing my entire being. "It would be so much easier to not love you." His words were stretched out, kisses breaking up the sentence.

"It would be so much easier to just love you instead." He didn't reply, just kissing me fiercer and wrapping me in tighter. We sank to the ground, never letting go and hiding in the bushes like I had as a child.

The sound of the door opening seemed in another world, but we heard it all the same. Darren rested a finger on my lip, pulling me closer to the bushes so we wouldn't be seen. I could hear heavy footsteps, heading towards the white corner and I knew it was papa. We crawled quickly, slipping out of the garden before bounding down the hall in fits of mischievous laughter. "Come on, rose girl, we have a feast to attend."

The screens were already focused on the Cornucopia by the time we arrived, the gold glistening in the rising sun. It was a moment before the table raised, four backpacks up for the taking. The cameras zoomed in, showing our bag to be one of the largest. What else was in there but a needle of medicine?

District Five was the first to appear, dashing forward and snatching her backpack before the others could move. One look at Darren told me we silently agreed to push a bit more money at her. Katniss was next, and before I knew it Clove had her on the ground.

This was it, this was our moment. I grabbed Darren's hand, squeezing it hard as I willed myself not to blink, not to miss a moment of the suffering in store for the burning girl. No one would come save her; she had drugged her only savior the night before._ I__f Katniss dies, and you have a clear shot, kill me. _In a moment, Thresh would be able to finish the baker boy off once and for all. Once Katniss was dead, his promises and deals no longer mattered.

Thresh materialized a few steps back, neither of the girls noticing him as he watched them curiously. Run Thresh, run and get away while you can. I wanted to scream when he didn't move; I wanted to hit something when I realized what caught his attention. Clove was talking about the little girl's death. She was talking about Rue.

He lunged in a moment, ripping her away from Katniss with one arm while he scooped up a rock with the other. "What'd you do to that little girl? You kill her?" His voice was loud, speaking in fragments like he did in the districts, not around me. "You said her name. I heard you. You kill her? You cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?" Put her down, I willed, let her finish her job then you can do whatever you want. He didn't hear my messages; he didn't make a move except to crash a rock into Clove's temple. There was no blood; just a dent while the girl took her final breaths.

He turned on Katniss, the rock still raised and I smiled. That little girl had been my key, something to anger him into action above all else. I didn't order her death, but it was helpful.

"To death. I sang until she died. Your district…they sent me bread. Do it fast, okay Thresh?" She knew he was going to break their promise, she knew she deserved it for not protecting that little girl for Thresh. The room was silent, watching for the girl on fire's death. Kill her Thresh, get it done.

But he didn't he lowered the rock. "Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl. You and me, we're even then. No more owed. You understand?" She nodded, just staring back sharply as she pondered the moment. He was clearing the debt, making sure the next time he had a better reason for Haymitch's deal to not hold. "You better run now, Fire Girl."

I hated him for letting her go, even for not letting Clove finish the job in the most painful way possible. What he did next, I hated him even more for.

"What in thirteen's name is he doing?" Darren shared my bewilderment as we watched Thresh take not only his backpack, but Cato's as well. I needed to scream, tell him to just drop it and run. He doesn't, just running back into his field with both backpacks slung over his shoulder. Cato kneels besides Clove's body; just long enough to know she's dead before following him.

"The end is about to be very clear." I didn't look away as Darren whispered in my ear, fear pinching every nerve in my body.


	39. Somewhere

**Chapter 39: Somewhere**

_There's a place for us,_

_Somewhere a place for us._

_Peace and quiet and open air_

_Wait for us_

_Somewhere._

_-West Side Story_

Cold pierced at my skin while I struggled to ignore the presence of Darren at my side as I watched the screen. Absentmindedly, I rubbed my hands on my arms trying to keep warm. "Blast stupid air vents in this things." My voice was a low grumble as I tried to count the beats of the hovercraft's engine, tried to look away. I couldn't. Darren gripped my fidgety hand, but all I could notice was the presence of his fingers, all five fingers. "Where is he? I need him back."

Peeta and Katniss were snug in a cave, smiling and eating while Thresh was lost in a field, fighting for his life. Thirty-Seven hours, thirty-seven hours without rest for either of us. It never seemed to end.

"The fact that they aren't showing him is a good sign. It means he isn't fighting Cato right now." I wanted him to be fighting, I wanted him to end it so I could simply go back home and smile again. Sometimes, our greatest wishes could be our greatest fears.

My wishes had an uncanny knack for coming true. The screen changed, and there he was, his left hand still wrapped in bandages and I shut my eyes trying not to think about what was missing beneath. Cato moved in quickly, slashing at his face to create a deep bloody line over Thresh's eyes. I screamed, burying my face into a pillow, trying to shake the blood from my mind. I didn't need Templesmith's voiceover to know he would never see again.

Cato's voice made my blood run cold, no warmth in any syllable. "I might have let you go if you killed lover boy's girl. I have a score to settle with her."

"You wouldn't let me go either way. You aren't honorable." They were practically yelling at each other through the thick sheet of rain.

"And you are? How many did you kill to get those rich sponsors? I know that's why you look so well fed. It doesn't matter though, in a minute, you won't ever be hungry again."

"You got a girl, Cato?" The boy stopped for a moment, watching my Thresh lying on the ground helpless as he stopped raising his knife.

"What's it to you?"

"If you do, think of her right now, at home watching the games. Think of her watching you die slowly, imagine her pain. Please, make it quick so mine what have to. Your issue is with me, not with her." The two tributes stared at each other, neither one moving as all of Panem waited on one decision. Cato nodded slowly, raising the knife.

For a moment, everything was peaceful. Thresh looked up into the sky and took a deep breath. The rock clasped in his hand of five fingers fell as he let it roll away. Cato's arm started to fall, and Darren lunged for me, blocking my sight from the screen. "Let me go! Let me go!"

"You don't need to see this." He was right, I didn't need to, I didn't want to. I couldn't cry, the tears wouldn't form but I breathed quickly into his shoulder while he moved to turn off the screen right as a cannon blared, lost in the thunder. A false cannon. The thought calmed my racing heart. Papa told me this morning that they snuck the drug into his system. That's why I was on this hovercraft, that's why I was on my way to see him. He wasn't dead.

I didn't know how much time passed as I rested on Darren's shoulder, trying to block my thoughts. I didn't realize anything as he helped me to stand, walked me off the hovercraft and down into a medical ward.

Nothing seemed real until I saw him, lying on the hospital bed, thick bandages covering the upper half of his body, blood seeping through around his heart. He breaths were quick and shallow, the beeping of machines detectable from the hallway.

"Miss. Snow, he's still alive, as the president ordered, but he won't last long. May I make a suggestion?" I didn't want to hear anything, I just wanted to be with him, yet Darren nodded and he still wouldn't let me go. "The tribute is in a lot of pain. The best thing for him is to be allowed to die, even given some help to end it quickly."

"No. He can't die." In the back of my mind I heard Darren trying to reason with me, but instead I pushed free as his grip slackened, pushing open the door and letting in shut in their faces. My childhood teachings made me notice every detail about the room, the doctors still lingering around his bed, the security camera mounted in the corner. I shooed them away, ordering them out the door with a single gesture. Then I didn't move.

"December, is that you?" I couldn't force a response on my lips, tears streaming down my face. I was crying, when was the last time I cried, truly had tears running down my face. When Darren told me he knew about Thresh. The time before that was when my grandmother greatened to have him killed. Before that, it was when Haymitch swore Thresh never loved me. It was always Thresh, I couldn't cry for anything else and the understanding only made the tears come faster. "It is. You walk so softly, and you're the only girl I know who can cry so quietly. I think it's because you're scared to cry." I reached for his hand, trying to ignore the missing finger and focus on the slight warmth coming through his dark skin. "I'm glad you're here, but I wished you had a different last memory of me."

"This won't be the last, Thresh. We'll make more."

"There's your voice. It's like bells when you're sad, so light and airy. Talk to me, December. Let me die with your voice in my ears if I can't see your face."

"You aren't going to die, Thresh. You can't."

"It suddenly seems so easy to just close my eyes and sleep forever. We are going to be together again, you'll see. Do you remember when you asked me if I believed in a God?" I squeaked out a soft yes, knowing with pain in my heart that he couldn't see my nod. "I thought then, that maybe I did, but I know I do now. There is something waiting for me, somewhere else where I belong. That's where we will be happy together, in a different world. I'm going to see you again, really see you; just like it used to be. I'll wait for you."

"Thresh, you won't need to. I'm here, I'm right here."

"The elders back home used to sit around fires and talk about being granted another life after death, maybe one where things are better. I think I'm living mine, it started the moment I met you. Nothing has ever seemed as beautiful as you do now." He lifted his complete hand to my face, tracing the tips of his fingers along my cheekbones. "I loved this face, I loved looking at it. Now, I'll have to just love that it's looking at me."

"Thresh, please, stop talking like that…"

"Listen to me, while I still have the strength. A new world is forming in whispered conversations all across Panem. You are going to grow old in this new world, and I only wish it to be better place for you. You never tell me the pain you feel in your life because you think it is nothing compared to mine. Our pains are different kinds, but just as strong though it I know you won't realize it now. My love, my death won't worsen your pain as much as the fight ahead being lost will. I'm not the Victor that Panem needed, that you needed."

"Thresh, what are you saying? I need you, can't you understand that? You are the only perfect thing with feeling and truth that I know. You let me cry, you let me laugh and you don't judge me for it. You can't leave me." The tears were painful, the water covering my vision. Girls are supposed to cry, supposed to know this feeling but I wasn't raised to be a simple girl.

"You're a dreamer, you always have been and it is so easy for you to imagine the world you have right now, with me in it. You can't see the reasons it won't work, or at least you don't want too. You've made your deals, but how well do a deal truly ever work? Maybe that's my fault, for falling in love with you because of the faith you had in a life with me."

I sighed, exasperated. "Your deals are foolish! You could have finished off twelve with a single blow, you could have not gotten yourself blinded if you never messed with Haymitch in the first place!"

"Look past her blushing and twirling that you find foolish, and see someone not so unlike yourself. She is a fool, but only for the camera. Take a moment to watch her when she doesn't know you are looking. And let her have a moment to understand you."

I wanted to understand, I needed to, but that girl was no more then luck and two smart brains standing behind her. She had Haymitch and the boy, but Thresh had had me. How could we have lost? "Thresh, stop the riddles and the confusion. Be here with me, you once asked it of me and now I ask you."

"There are so many riddles you need to try to understand. Do you trust me?"

I didn't wait a beat to respond. "With my life."

"Then trust only me, even in my death. Stop trusting everyone you do, especially your father."

"He loves me, just as much as you do. He's the best man I know, he always will be. Trust me, Thresh. He wanted to help you, but he couldn't He arranged this so we could talk one last time."

"Exactly, one last time. I wish I could see you one last time." His breath was slowing, air pushing through his thin voice. "There was a meadow in District 11 I wanted to take you to one day. It's through the berry fields, before you reach the fence. The land wasn't flat enough for farming so they left it as a barrier between the District and the outside. There are wild roses on a bush in the back corner. That's where I went to think of you when we were apart. Red roses, it reminded me of how different you are from the rest of them." Just like Papa, giving me the red roses where the others all began the day with pure white. "You shouldn't be a Snow, it can't be in your blood. You're something purer then those murderers."

"Papa isn't a murder, Thresh. Murders are ruthless and cold but Papa works for the betterment of society. Anyone who dies on his order is executed to help all of Panem…"

"Alright, my love. One day you'll see, but I don't want to spend my last minutes with you arguing. Someone else can show you in the future." He breathed deeply, his chest slowly rising and falling like a feather that floats in the air, peacefully. I turned my head at a sound from the hall, seeing Darren pacing through the tiny door window. I squeezed Thresh's hand harder, my tears falling onto his face. I wished I could make him understand before he died that we would have had a life together, that my father would have allowed it to happen. Before I could speak, he uttered a quiet phrase. "Be happy with him. He'll give you what I can't now."

"Thresh, I couldn't be happy without you. My father could never fill the hole I'll have if you leave me." It was too late. He was gone from me. I knew it was too late, deep down I knew it, but I couldn't admit it. "Thresh, say something. Anything. Please. I love you, don't go from me." He lay there, not moving, his white and bloodshot eyes staring blankly, the pulse gone in his hand. "Thresh!"

The door slammed open, but I didn't care. Hands grabbed me, but I wouldn't let go. He had to still be there, and if I let go he would float away. "Thresh, please."

"December, calm down." I hated the voice, punching at its chest with my free hand, trying to twist away as it's hands tightened around my waist. He wretched me free of Thresh's grasp, but I landed a strong kick in his side long enough for me to race across the room.

There was a table of painkillers and medicines and I reached for different bottles, trying desperately to understand the names. "Which one of these is lethal? Which one needs but a drop for me to move on into a different life? Which one will kill me the fastest?"

"December, it's time for us to go." Doctors returned the room, just staring as Darren ordered them not to move. He walked closer, carefully judging my movements with every step.

"There is no us left! The only us in this room is Thresh and I. Thresh and I! If he can't be here, I'll go there. I won't be alone." I opened the bottle in my hand, shaking out the tiny pills and raising them to my mouth before Darren could reach me.

"You wouldn't. You value yourself too much." His comment stopped me, and I stared at the pills. I loved myself, I was the only thing I ever truly loved before Thresh came along, but with him gone, was I still there? "Stop her, you idiots!"

The doctors rushed forward and I put up my hand quickly. "On my order, on the order of the daughter of your president, you will not take another step." They stopped, looking anxiously between Darren and me. "Will these kill me?" They remained silent. "Answer me!"

"Those are painkillers, Miss. Snow, but that many could be lethal." They still didn't move as I continued to examine the pills.

"What are you all waiting for?" I questioned why he didn't lunge for me himself, but Darren was too smart for that. He knew one wrong step and I would pop the pills. "What do you think will get you in jail faster? Disobeying her orders, or having her dead on your watch?"

That spurred them into action, and though I raised my hand to take the pills, one shot me with a long needle and the world went dark.


	40. The Winner Takes It All

**Short chapter today guys! Thanks for the reviews!**

**Chapter 40: The Winner Takes it All**

_The gods may throw a dice_

_Their minds as cold as ice_

_And someone way down here_

_Loses someone dear_

_The winner takes it all_

_The loser has to fall_

_-ABBA_

Life felt still, cold as the ice floating absentmindedly in the punch bowls. Nothing seemed real, as though my reality had vanished. In truth, I had been thrust back into it. My entire soul was numb, voices not registering as they spoke to me.

"Ember?" I flinched at the touch on my hand, barely focusing on the little boy to which it belonged. "Are you listening to me?" I tried to nod, but my heavy felt heavy and it only made me dizzy.

"Cory, may I borrow your sister for a second?" The boy nodded; handing me over to the last person I wanted to be touching me, yet I didn't have the strength to recoil. "Walk with me." He knew my weakness; he held my arm firmly to support me as we walked towards a corner. "Try, December. Try to get over this. It's been seven days, an entire week. " Seven days, was that it? It felt so much longer. "I got it when you were barely there the night the Games ended, but I can't let you keep doing this. People are already asking questions, for example why your little cousin presented the crown with your father instead of you."

"No one knows. No one ever will." My voice was a squeak, staring blankly at the wall.

"Except me, so I'm the only one who can help you, but I need something to work with." A loud roar came from the rest of the crowd, so I knew Katniss and Peeta must have entered the room.

"There's nothing you can do. I'm gone, Darren. I'm gone with him. You can't understand."

"Do you honestly think I can't? I watched you screaming, I watched you try to kill yourself and I imagined you laying on that bed dying and me in your place. I would have done the same thing in a minute, don't you get that? If you know the pain, don't let me lose you."

"I'm already gone." I felt dizzy again, my whole body shaking as I tried to stand. I registered nothing as Darren motioned over a waiter, pushing a glass of wine up to my lips. The drink created a slight bubble in me and an even stronger urge to be out of the room.

The crowd parted as I approached the victors, the two simpletons with their hands clasped together. I didn't need to be conscious to know how much trouble they were in, were they smart enough to know it as well?

"December Snow." My voice was flat as I waited for them to respond. The boy was quick.

"How could we not know? I'm Peeta Mellark."

"And how could I not know that?" The people watching laughed, and I even felt a light smile break on my lips. His eyes sparkled, a radiant glow on his face. He was alive, with the love of his life. That was the smile I was supposed to have tonight.

I turned my focus to Katniss, who was watching me closely, as though looking for a weakness. For once, no one had to look very deep. Then I hated her more before. I hated her for being her, being alive. She wasn't supposed to be.

"Good evening, Miss Snow." Her voice sounded dreary as she stuck out her hand, but this wasn't her place to cause a problem. She must know she already had.

My eyes shifted to her other hand, the one clasped in Peeta's. Did she know love, or was it an act like my father assumes? She seemed to be opening her mouth, ready to speak, but I didn't want to hear any excuses she had. There was nothing left to be done, deep down I knew that.

The feeling of Thresh's arms washed over me, that sense of warmth and security. In those arms, the world was perfect, as though we lived in our own garden of wonder where no one could touch us. I was wrong; I was a fool to follow the rules. I killed him.

What God was there for Thresh to believe in that made things so cruel? Which god was it who pulled my number and took him away from me? Whoever it was, I desired a word. That's why we didn't believe in the deities, they controlled for no reason, with no cost to them. They weren't feeling the pain like I was.

I couldn't help but stare at Peeta's hand interlocked in hers. Could this monster of a girl feel like I did, did the same giddiness wash over her with every kiss? When Peeta says her name, did she hear the music of bells like Thresh's voice was to me?

In my life, I wasn't used to defeat. Defeat was for the weak, for the Districts, Outskirts and inferior elites. Yet, here I was standing beside this District girl, lost and powerless. This one girl took it all in one day, with a handful berries, leaving nothing left for me.

Katniss stared at me, still holding out her hand that I made no move to take. How much did she know? How much did Peeta know? I met her eyes, receiving a cold stare on that foolish face of hers, and I understood one thing. She wasn't in love; I knew what that looked like. She was a girl trying to survive alone, scared that her supposed love stunt might have signed her death. To her, I was just another Snow, and nothing more.

I clasped her hand tightly, shaking it once before turning away sharply. I couldn't look at that lie any longer. "Little one, talk to me." The voice was like a voice of dreams, one I hadn't heard in a long time talking with such compassion. "I'm sorry, but I did what had to be done."

"Nothing had to be done, Haymitch. Things could have gone anyway that one person wanted. This time, it just lucked out to be you. Mark my words, it won't happen again."

I walked away without looking at him, not turning around to see the pain in his eyes.

I ignored my father calling to me as I left the room, making my way upstairs to bed. Everything suddenly seemed fake, unreal and harsh. Reality had become a dream. "Stop following me, Darren." His footsteps were obvious, though I knew he didn't want to be noticed completely.

"I need to make sure you are alright."

"I'm never going to be alright, don't you get that? I'm never going to heal because I don't want to! Healing would mean forgetting him, and I refuse to do that!"

"December, you've barely said a word in a week and whatever happened in there with Katniss brought back your voice. Answer one question, is it all over?" I turned slowly, knowing with a pain in my entire fiber that he wasn't asking about one set of Games, if the fun was over.

"The deal was we would be something when he came out alive. Unless you're deft you should have realized now that he is dead. Goodbye Darren. Go back to my sister, where you belong."

No matter what, he would always be linked to Thresh's death in my mind.


	41. Without You

**Chapter 41: Without You**

_The world revives, colors renew_

_But I know blue, only blue_

_Lonely blue, willingly blue_

_Without you_

_-Rent_

Life races on, without or without you. That's the first lesson I learned of mourning. The pamphlet from Grandmother's funeral lay open on my dresser, but it hadn't been much help. Lies. This was not so simple.

_Stage One: Shock, as we are unaccustomed to death in our lives_

_ Stage Two: Confusion, Anger and Isolation_

_ Stage Three: Acceptance; everyone in the Capitol dies for the greater good_

_ These three stages will pass very quickly, and everyone will move on always._

I think I missed my birthday party, or maybe I went and just ignored everything. I didn't feel any different, just colder at nights. The trees out the window showed early November, but that wasn't possible. November meant just less than six months since the games, since he died.

I think I lived moment by moment, just taking in one thing at a time and turning off my mind outside my room. Six months and I hadn't been locked up yet, six months and they all thought I was still all right.

_"Coriolanus, have you even seen December's grade report? It's atrocious." _

_ "She never studied before Maribelle, why would you assume she does now." Laughter._

I was always a slacker; I always had lacked energy to study.

_ "December, you never take me to see the chariot horses anymore."_

_ "You're a big boy now, Cory. You can go on your own."_

My little brother was growing up; he didn't really need me anyhow.

_"It isn't cold, you just don't like the dress and want to cover it up. You're fashion sense is really bothering me. I'm your twin, people compare us."_

I hated clothes already, it wasn't strange I didn't want to wear anything formal.

Had I changed, or was it all in my mind? So many nights they all had me convinced I was no different, just the same girl I always was showing her personality some more. Then Darren talked to me. _"Smile. It isn't so hard. Please, December. You always smiled before he died." _Darren, the one who knew the truth, and the one who saw the changes for what they were and reminded me. I could have been happier with the lies.

They plucked at my eyebrows as though it didn't hurt to watch them smile. They led me around dance floors as though every bone in my body didn't ache. They talked to me on camera, taking my false smiles and forced giggles as a sign that everything was fine.

I should be fine, I should have moved on by now. I was disgusted with myself for wallowing in this pathetic state of loss. I was better than a weak girl, I always had been and I didn't see how one boy, no matter how special he was could change that.

But then there were those eyes, those golden eyes that haunted me in the dark. They never seemed to darken, never lose their glow the entire time I knew him. They watched me with tenderness, always care and compassion. And the hands, the hands that caught me, lifting me off my breath and into a state of frenzy.

_"Ember? Like the President's daughter? You probably even died your hair to match hers." _His laughter ringing through the night.

That first time he touched me he had said,_ "I refuse to be in trouble if I have to bring you back with your head cracked open." _

_"It's no palace, but it's home all the same." _The mustard yellow house, falling apart on the outside, but full of love within.

"_I need to know I can see this part of you, touch your hand again." _His first sign he felt more, that we would see each other again.

"_This is beautiful, that's what these feelings are and nothing more. We are lucky, my sweet." _Those muscled hands wiping away my tears, when I first felt afraid.

"_Kiss me like we have nothing to hide and that this means more then anything in the world." _The first time I kissed him, that time when I knew I would never be the same.

"_You have thousands of options, so why pick me?" _His constant claims that I deserved better. Did I ever do enough to make him understand I didn't deserve him?

_"Ms. Snow, I hope you might consider sponsoring me." _The polite request, that moment he could swear I didn't love him enough to even try and save his life.

"_Every night I have, and every day shall always belong to you." _Now the words sent cold chills down my spine, that promise that was true because of the worst way to part we could imagine.

_"And how is some lowly District boy supposed to know that? If he's taken by a beautiful woman that somehow he got in his arms, why should he risk letting go?" _Did he know that I never wanted him to?

_"I couldn't ever to let you go." Another promise he kept to the grave._

_"Alright, my dear sweet girl. I'll trust you." _You shouldn't have.

"_For once admit you don't know everything." _Until the very end, I never admitted I couldn't get him out alive.

_"Why did you kill her? You're better then that, December Snow." _The pain of disappointing him stung like a fresh wound, but it didn't matter. At least I gave him some extra days.

_"I love you, I swear." _His quick temper changes, never walking away without a light kiss.

_"It's alright, Rue. You can stay in here tonight."_ I wanted nothing more then the arms of that kind heart wrapping around me once again.

_"My love, my darling, my sweet." _Those loving names always dotted with kisses.

_"I love you, December Snow. I always will. Tomorrow won't change that." _It should have.

_"Well, this time you'll get to watch me when I can't see you. I'm sure you'll enjoy that change." _I did watch. I watched myself fail him.

"_I'll be back." _How could I forget his ever-lasting faith in me?

"_Let me die with your voice in my ears if I can't see your face." _Those golden eyes covered by bandages, my voice cracking on tears.

"_There is something waiting for me, somewhere else where I belong. That's where we will be happy together, in a different world. I'm going to see you again, really see you; just like it used to be. I'll wait for you." _The words of a dying soul, with acceptance in every sound. How could he accept leaving me? How could we ever be together again?

"_I loved this face, I loved looking at it. Now, I'll have to just love that it's looking at me." _His fingers brushing my cheekbones. That last soft touch.

_"There are so many riddles you need to try to understand." _Always riddles, riddles I still didn't understand. He expected so much I couldn't give. I didn't blame him at all.

_"Be happy with him. He'll give you what I can't now." _Those last words, blaming himself for leaving me and asking for my happiness. Why couldn't he see I didn't know how to make happiness exist without him?

Still, one sentence rang in my ears as it always had._ "I'm always watching, my sweet" _Not anymore. He couldn't anymore.

The living room door opened, alerting me back to the world as much as I could still be a part of it. For a moment, I could feel again. Feel the cushion of the chair beneath me, feel the light breeze of cold air coming through the window.

"The train leaves in three weeks. Are you excited?" I shrugged papa off, not moving from my vigil on the window. "It's a new train this year but I've made sure to order you a room set up the way you like it."

"I don't want to go this year, papa."

"Why not? The Capitol loves watching you in the Districts. You always loved it before." How could I tell him I couldn't touch even a speck of dirt in 11 without collapsing, that I was losing hold fast every time I thought about those open fields? "Go, it will be good for you to get out of the city." I nodded, having no energy to fight him on it. "Come with me, if you like. I'm heading down the cells to give Plutarch a little reminder before he begins his new job."

Papa stuck out his hand, helping me up from the chair and I clung on to him, the only seemingly real thing in my life.

**So I was messing around with a bit of a dialogue-flashback technique my lit teacher suggested I try in another piece of writing, and I thought you all could be my guinea pigs! Let me know what you think!**


	42. Marry the Night

**Chapter 42: Marry the Night**

_I'm gonna Marry the Night_

_I'm not gonna cry anymore_

_I'm gonna Marry the Night_

_Leave nothing on the street to explore_

_-Lady Gaga_

"They say in the Districts that it's the Gamemakers who have the coldest hearts in Panem, but they are wrong. That's you." Papa just laughed, circling Crane slowly. "Tell me, do you not believe in love or are you desperate to keep it from everyone else because your bitch of a wife doesn't love you."

"Speaking of my family in that way is treason."

"Subjugating your daughter to witness an execution isn't?"

"She wanted to come."  
>"It is amazing what the man who raises a child can do to such a good natured soul."<p>

"What do you mean?" Crane stared at me for a moment, mischief glistening in his eyes.

"Nothing." His smile didn't disappear, the curling beard shaping the tightness in his jaw.

"You see Crane, you are in here because of the love I have for my family. I've built them an empire, and you're foolish could have brought it down on multiple occasions. I won't risk that again." For a moment, Crane's mask faltered and I smirked in return. Sweat beaded on his forehead from the heat in the room, and I knew it was hotter where he stood. The coals below the metal plate had been heating for an hour and I watched as he slightly lifted each foot, one at a time, trying to ignore the growing heat.

"So, I let a little girl keep the love of her life. That's better than you ever did."

"Katniss didn't love him, maybe he loves her but she was acting and she fooled you. You're supposed to be the smart one, Crane."

"I wasn't necessarily talking about Katniss."

"Of course, you meant the other time you almost ruined this family. I still haven't decided which was worse; killing my sister or changing the rules that Panem was built on."

"If you had a heart, you would say you're sister."

"Damn you." Papa signaled to the control booth and the plate below Crane burned red hot for a moment as the traitor screamed. "Watch your tongue and it won't happen again."

"Why should I care? I'll be dead within the hour anyways. Dead, without ever seeing my family since the end of the 74th games."

"They know what you did, and I doubt they'd want to see you again." I was growing bored with the bastard's loose tongue, and ready to be done with it. The fun wasn't in the conversation before; it was in their last words before the fire is lit. "Abet is a good boy, supportive of your government and probably understands. Keith might aggravate me with his personality, but honestly he isn't dumb. He knows better than you. They'll be glad to have you gone." Papa laughed at my comments, squeezing my shoulders.

"There's a good girl for you to emulate, Seneca. She knows her place, she understands loyalty and so do your boys. It's a shame they'll lose their enrollment at Capitol Prep because of you. They deserve better. One question; do they know about your little fling before their mother? Do they know you killed a woman? It's your fault Rosa is dead. She killed herself to protect our family from the scandal you were trying to break."

Now Crane laughed, a cold chill creeping up my spine. "You killed her the moment she told you about us. She came to me crying the next morning, practically screaming. 'Coriolanus says they'll never let us be together. Coriolanus said that my mother would have a heart attack if she found out. Coriolanus said you've ruined me and if anyone ever hears of it, I'll ruin my family.' You killed her that night when you convinced her we could never be together. You broke her heart then married her off."

"What's done is done, Crane. I did what was best for my sister. Losing you is what she needed. You should have left her alone, she was happy with Ansgar, they were friends and would have been happy." I couldn't help notice my father's rhythm to the words, as though he had repeated them over and over before.

"Figure out your own family, Snow, before you ruin others. You've ruined too many, taken too many children to ever have peace for your own. They'll all die in your name, in cold blood because of you. Even the Victors, you still destroyed their families. One day, they'll take back what is theirs, you'll see. Crane's eyes dug into mine, and I shrunk back instinctively, trying to shift away from that piercing gaze, as though he knew my darkest secrets, and I no longer listened to his words. "Your secrets aren't secrets anymore, I've heard them. Most of the center has."

"December, go outside in the hall and watch through the window if you wish, or don't at all." I didn't move, still watching Crane's eyes and noticing his sly grin curving higher. "December, now." I knew the cells weren't my place to argue, one didn't argue with the President when his power was at its highest. Silently, I joined Plutarch in exile at the window outside, our eyes never looking away.

Crane didn't stop smirking, just grinning as Papa's anger grew moment by moment. I heard nothing, the sound lost through thick glass and metal walls but their faces were enough to tell me that Crane was milking his last moments for all he could. He was smart enough to know that he wasn't coming out alive, not this time.

Papa raised a hand towards the control booth as a signal, stepping back from the platform as fire starting spewing from the edges. The smoke gathered quickly as the glass covering came down, locking Crane in a thin tube of smoke and flame. Papa was laughing, and I laughed with him, watching the traitor struggle as his breath ran short.

"This is his way of warning me, isn't it? I worked under Seneca, and I never thought he'd end up here." I turned to look at Plutarch, who had gone quite pale.

"I doubt he did either, this isn't anyone's life goal."

I never heard him speak so softly, sound frightened. "If I slip up, this is my future."

"If you slip up, this is what you deserve." I couldn't help but smirk, watching as papa gave the next signal and Crane burst into flames.

Papa emerged, grabbing my hand quickly. He dragged me away, and when I turned to look back, Plutarch was still gazing at that burning body. "We're going on a trip. Call your Avox from my office and tell her to pack you bag. Don't leave the office, at all, and don't let anyone in."

"Papa…" His quick gait frightened me as I struggled to keep up.

"I just want to be able to leave right away. That's all, my rose."

"Where are we going?"

"District Twelve. I have someone to take care of." I smiled, ready for a trip, ready to see Katniss scorned for all she had done. "You can help me, I wouldn't trust another single soul." With that, he kissed me on the forehead and pulled me into him tighter. "My rose, my little rose."

This is where I belonged, not moping in silent rooms. I belonged at my father's side, carrying out work in his name. This was my calling, it had been since birth.


	43. My Little Girl

**Hey Guys! Short chapter but I wanted to get this up in honor of the movie premiere! I'm secretly hoping to see some blond Capitol girl hanging around President Snow just so I can pretend December is real **

**Chapter 43: My Little Girl**

_When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone_

_Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown_

_Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You" in the moonlight at your door_

_As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More"_

_-Tim McGraw_

"Stay on the hovercraft. I'm serious." My father stared at me while I casually looked over the top of my book. "Don't get off this hovercraft." He punctuated each word a shake of his finger.

"Can't I come with you? I want to yell at Katniss just as much as you." I snapped the book shut, standing up to follow him.

"No. You are staying right here. I've given you free reign of an entire hovercraft. Don't make me limit you to this room."

"What about limiting me to your shadow? I'll stay quiet, won't say a word."

"December, no."

"Then why did you bring me with you? What about Haymitch? Can't I visit Haymitch?"

He sighed, buttoning up his cuff before walking towards the hovercraft door. "I'll send him to you, how's that sound? My arrival here makes this more dangerous then when you are on your own. The District brats will be tense, and tension leads to stupid acts."

I leaned in the doorway, nodding my consent, and with a kiss on the forehead, he departed. Truthfully, I didn't want to see Katniss. I didn't want to look at her or Peeta and think of all they won. I hated her guts, not for the reasons my dad did, but for the fact that she beat me. There was not a bone in my body worthless than her entire being, and yet she won.

I returned my focus on the book, some story about the time before the Dark Days, when poor men voted and put some bum of an official into office that couldn't do anything. He was from somewhere called New York, probably District Thirteen.

Time seemed to slow as I waited for Haymitch, starting to believe that maybe Papa wouldn't send him at all. Why did he need Haymitch to put fear in Katniss's heart? Maybe Haymitch was too drunk, that was a certain possibility.

Kirsti brought me a cup of tea, pressing it into my hand with a smile. I didn't know if it was the book, or honest curiosity that made me ask, but I did. Maybe I just needed to know why I was gaining fondness towards a traitor. "Why are you an Avox?"

She pointed to my open suitcase, miming taking something from it and running away. She was a thief. "Oh, Kirsti, why?" She just shrugged her shoulders, taking a sip out of her own teacup. I wanted to know more about it, how she got caught but stories weren't easy to get from an Avox unless you had a knack for understand mimes.

I heard the door to outside whistle open, a growling voice coming through my own door. Haymitch.

"He's not going to be very happy with me, is he?" I managed a weak smile, realizing what conversation lay beyond that door. Kirsti gave me a hand, helping me to stand before giving me a tight squeeze. She disappeared into the corner, but settling in with a magazine and I knew what she meant to say. _Don't worry; I'm not leaving you. _Apparently, she had fondness for me too.

"I suppose you wanted me here to yell at me, little one." He sauntered in, quickly settling himself in one of the armchairs. A peacekeeper loomed in the door, and I had to convince him that Kirsti was monitoring me before he would leave. No one in his or her right mind would really leave me alone with a raging drunk.

"Of course, I'm angry. If it wasn't for your stupid deal, he could have killed Katniss when he had the chance."

"If I'm not mistaken, he spared her more on the thought that she saved Rue."

"Well, your deal was a part of it! He was supposed to come home to me, and none of this would be happening right now. Papa wouldn't have to be here to threaten Katniss, I wouldn't have spent almost six months moping and life would be the same! Thresh was the Victor all of Panem needed and you ruined it!"

"Really? All of Panem or just the Capitol? Do you ever remember the Districts counts as this country?"

"Of course I do! Thresh would have brought money to 11, where they need it."

"We needed it here as well! Every district needs it December!" I said nothing, silently noting Kirsti's raised eyes in the corner. She was watching for my temper to strike, but I had to be the bigger person here. I couldn't afford him to unsettle me.

"Fine. We each did what we had to do." Haymitch snorted in surprise, no doubt wanting more argument but I wouldn't oblige. He had yet to understand the new me. Loss makes you mature faster than anything. "Why did it take you so long to show up?"

He studied me for a moment before answering. "Your father had to ask me some questions first."  
>"About Katniss?"<br>"More or less." His jaw was set tight; the words slipping through barely opened lips. His eyes dug into mine, taking in every detail of my being. "You never have looked so different to me than you do now. You've grown."

"I've changed."

Haymitch snorted again, before throwing his head back in laughter. "Indeed you have. Give me a hug, I should go before your father gets back." There was no warmth in his voice, so I didn't move towards him. "You're growing up faster than I can keep up. One day you're going to be an adult and I won't be able to hug you anymore." A slight smile spread over his face and that was enough for me to oblige.

The embrace was quick, then he left without another word, right as the cars were pulling up to the hovercraft. Through the window I watched my father and Haymitch stare each other down before moving on with their lives, as though the other was dust.

"Take off immediately. I want to be back in the Capitol by dinner." The captain nodded at my father's order, disappearing into the cockpit as my father entered the room.

"How was it?"

"Easier than I expected. That girl is not good at hiding things on her face. She shouldn't be too much trouble anymore." He unfolded a napkin from his pocket, producing a flower cookie, elegantly frosted. "Katniss sends her regards. She even sent me off with one of Peeta's cookies for you."

I laughed, knowing he must have just taken it, and I bit carefully, finding it to be quite decent for a district treat. It almost tasted like real sugar, almost. "What else did she have to say?"  
>"Not much, except that now I'm one hundred percent confident she barely cares for the boy. There is something between her and that false cousin, I'm sure."<p>

"Please, papa. You could have told me that weeks ago."

"I told her she better convince all of Panem she loves him."

"And how do you expect her to do that?"

"By aiming to convince me." I spit out the bite of cookie in my mouth, laughing so hard my insides quickly began to hurt. That was impossible.

"We also made an agreement not to lie to each other. That made things very easy." His tone became serious suddenly, staring at me still laughing hysterically. "I think it's time you and I made the same promise."

"Papa! What in the world do you mean?"  
>"We've always trusted each other, but now you are growing up and when girls grow up they change. I need to be sure that aspect of you doesn't, that I can always trust you."<p>

There was nothing left in me that he couldn't. Thresh was gone and Thresh was my secret. "All papa, we won't lie to each other."

"That's why you're my rose. Don't grow up too fast now or I'm going to be old and alone before I know it."

"What about May? She's growing up too, and Cory."  
>"But you're my baby girl. May is the month when roses bloom, but December…" He fell silent, mischief gleaming in his eyes as he kissed me on the forehead.<p>

"Is when they are a luxury." We laughed together, the world seeming a perfect place in my father's arms.

**Review review review!**


	44. Love Never Dies

**Chapter 44: Love Never Dies**

_Love never dies_

_Love never falters_

_Once it has spoken_

_Love is yours_

_-Andrew Lloyd Webber_

I wanted to be home, wrapped under blankets and hiding from the world. I wanted to be running through the Circle with other teenagers, enjoying the Tour Carnival set up on the pavement. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

The train slowed as it pulled into the station, and I wanted to laugh, as the army truck appeared to receive Katniss and our party. I tried to ignore to known smell of mildew from the platform timbers, the open expanse of space surrounding us. I needed to block it all out. Haymitch softly helped me off the train, Katniss shooting a look of annoyance at him. She didn't want me here as much as I wanted to be away. A platform attendant directed the party towards the truck, but stopped me until a sleeker black car arrived. I was no tribute that needed to be kept from trouble, and they knew it. "I want Abernathy with me. My father gave me strict instructions not to let him out of my sight." The attendant nodding, waving to her coworker for Haymitch to be brought back to me. I knew he heard my order, and heard the weakness in my voice the others ignored.

Slipping into the car, I checked that it was like the ones at home with soundproofing to the driver's area. I barely felt the car lurch forward when I spoke. "I can't do it. I can't be here." He said nothing, not a man who carried words of comfort around. Haymitch only reached out his hand, clasping mine tightly. "Everything reminds me of him, even the sun glistening through the windows right now. I can't look at them, Trina and his grandmother, sitting on that little constructed platform as his family. I won't."

"We all have to do things we don't want to. This is your moment. If Katniss can fake it, so can you." I take a deep breath, trying to stifle back the building tears. "Don't cry, it will ruin your pretty make-up and then you'll look like a mess instead of just feeling like one." He seemed to look on me with contempt for once, though his jaw was locked tight. "You're a Snow, be a Snow."

Our car arrived at the Justice building the same time as the truck, staff quickly moving Katniss and Peeta towards the front doors. Someone tells Haymitch and Effie where a longue is, but I requested to be brought to my arranged personal quarters. I needed to be alone.

But in the last minute, I stop and yell Peeta's name for a moment, pausing him long enough for me to catch up. Katniss was turned away, getting set up with a microphone and oblivious. "Thresh." I don't know why I wanted him to know, but just that one word and I could see in his eyes that he knew.

"The roof?"

"The generator." Peeta nodded somberly, yet a light smile grew on his lips. He understood what I had lost, and how much I still couldn't do. An attendant was reaching for him to pin a microphone and another offered to lead me to my room. Behind me, I heard Effie yelling at Haymitch and his slight retort 'Maybe if you let me explore for an escape route, I'll drink less.' Shouldn't she know by now that's how Haymitch operates?

The attendant turned on the screen in my room before leaving, but I ignored it, instead going to the window. Below, the entire District was assembled in the square, all looking drab and somber. Directly below me I could make out the tops of Peeta's and Katniss's heads, Peeta's constantly turning slight towards the left, where the platform of tribute families was set up.

My first focus is on the flock of children that must be there for Rue and I remembered Thresh telling me about the family, how she crept into his bed at night, lonely without her siblings by her side. Then I allowed myself to focus on the two women I never wanted to see again. His grandmother's back seemed worse, hunched over painfully as she sat to mourn the loss of her grandson. Trina seemed hollow, and I questioned the lack of a baby in her arms. Maybe the child was with the father.

The voices from the screen behind me let me know Peeta has begun his personal comments, my eyes never moving from Thresh's family. For a moment, Trina glances up and looks straight at my window. I know she sees me; her eyes empty as she snaps her attention back to Peeta. Neither of us had been prepared for his comment. "We'd like for each of the tribute families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives."

If I hadn't been looking for it, I wouldn't have noticed how he glanced up at my window, a finger just barely pointing at a vase of roses behind his back. That was his sign that he had listened. His words were his sign that he understood.

I was still in shock when I heard Katniss's voice say his name. "I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him." I wanted to scream, did you, Everdeen? Do you understand his honor, his sacrifice to maintain a deal with you? "For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own." He played them on mine, she was wrong on that fact, but I had been wrong on the terms. "The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that."

That was when I should have turned, right then to wash the tears from my eyes. I didn't though, I kept watching. It was as though everything happened in a moment, the three-finger salute out the window, the screen cutting off behind me, Katniss and Peeta's heads disappearing under the verandah, peacekeepers grabbing a man from the crowd.

I couldn't turn away. I should have turned away.

They shot him in a moment, clear through the head. He deserved it, but it brought back dark memories.

_Mother laughed while holding my sister's hand with the baby in her other arm, me sitting in Papa's lap across from them. The open top car was new, shiny and dark blue as we drove around the circle and towards one of the parks for a family outing. Some people waved from the streets and at our parents urging, May and I waved back. _

_ "Mama? May I hold the baby?" Our mother nodded, handing my sister our most prized possession. He was the one who would carry on our family name for generations to come, as we had been a bloodline for generations before. May and I, Papa had said one night, would get married and take our husband's name with all our children. Cory would keep the Snow family going. _

_ It all happened in a moment. A man was pushing through the crowds on the streets, mother screamed while papa pushed me onto the floor of the car, May tumbling down after me, still holding the baby. It seemed like barely a second before the gunshot rang. _

_ Then everyone was screaming, and I could hear footsteps running away but Papa kept a firm hand on my back to keep me down. "Don't kill him!" Papa's voice was steady, strong as when he was in his office. "I want him alive!" _

_ Papa's hand slowly loosened and I stood up, my legs weak from fear and confusion. A team of peacekeepers brought forward a shaggy man, dressed in poor clothes with a wild look in his eyes. _

_ "I want to see the light leave his eyes." Two peacekeepers held him as the man started to pull away, one slowly backing away with his gun pointed._

_ "On your order, President Snow." My father wrapped one arm around my shoulder, bending down to whisper in my ear. _

_ "Are you brave enough to not look away?" I nodded, wanting to be brave just like papa though my knees still quivered. Beside me, papa raised his hand, slashing it down quickly and the second gunshot of the day filled my ears. I hadn't looked away._

_ That was my first execution. I was five. _

_ Only after the man crumpled to the ground, only after they carried his carcass away did we see the blood in the baby's hair, and on the side of the seat bench where he must have hit it. His eyes were still open, staring back at us as he cried, but the damage was done. Only after papa ordered the man's death did we understand how much damage that man had done. _

Chaos ensued in the square below me, people running in different directions, stumbling over each other. A younger man rushed towards the body, a baby in his arms. It wasn't until Trina rushed forward to grab the baby that I realized I recognized him. He was Thresh's brother-in-law. His grandmother pulled her and the child away in time to avoid the next bullet, hitting the man on the shoulder. He didn't fall, just ran off in another direction. Another gunshot filled my ears, but I didn't see where it was fired.

Katniss. This was Katniss's fault. She killed Thresh, and now she would kill his district.

Then I started running, without thought or purpose. I ran, trying to remember everything about him to hold onto, the color of his eyes to his dreams and desires. _It's through the berry fields, before you reach the fence. _That was the place he had wanted me to go, to go with him. Now I was left to run there on my own.

Pain tore at my lungs, but I kept running. Tears filled my eyes, but I kept running. _It's through the berry fields, before you reach the fence. _It became my mantra. _It's through the berry fields, before you reach the fence. _I told myself that when I got there, he would be waiting. When I got there, I could be with him again.

I never could have guessed how right that statement was.

My feet slowed when a rose bush caught my attention, the red roses bright in the sunlight. I closed my eyes for a moment, imagining him sitting here in the grass and thinking of me.

When I opened my eyes, I found the tombstone. It was new and polished, a deep gray stone that glimmered in the sunlight. Thresh. My knees collapsed on his grave, and I pulled my legs to my head, trying to hide from the world.

This was the closest I would ever be to him, I knew that now. The grave made everything real. Where there is a grave, there is a body. Where there is a body, there is death. Death kept us separated by the very earth, the very blood pounding in my veins. I wanted to be sick.

A twig snapped behind me and I turned quickly to find Trina approaching. "I thought I might find you here. You shouldn't have come."

"I needed to see it, just know where he was." My hand reached out to the top of the stone, running along it as though the stone could become his flesh and blood.

"I didn't mean this spot. I meant the District. I know you were in the window. I know you saw." I stayed silent, remembering the man crumpling to the ground. "That was my father-in-law you know, and my husband who rushed forward after that. He risked his life, risked the life of our child."

"His shoulder…"

"Will heal. My anger with him won't. I told him to stay out of it, that it wasn't worth anything. Neither of them listened to me." She paused for a moment, and I couldn't find words. "They hate you, they have every right too."

"And you don't?"

"I want to, but I know my brother. He chose to die, I saw it in his eyes. Maybe you had a way for him to come home, maybe you didn't. In the end, no matter what, he made the choice. He made me promise you know, in those last few minutes I had to talk to him. He made me promise to be nice to you. I won't break that promise."

"I spoke to him. One last time. After Cato hit him. He told me he wanted me to see these rose bushes. I didn't think this is where he was buried."

"That was the last thing he asked me. To bury him here. Grandmother doesn't even want to be mad at you, you know. She likes you, just like her husband did when you were little. She says you let him live a bit before he died. I hope that's true." She pulled the pack off her back, opening it to reveal the old fiddle. "Grandmother said you should have this. Neither of us knows how to play, and Thresh used to stare at it on the shelf, humming some tune you must have once played him. It belongs to you now."

I ran my fingers over the wood, remembering the first tune I had played for him. One hand ran through the notes, straight from memory, but I couldn't move the bow. That was the part of music that was feeling, that was life and energy.

I didn't notice when Trina left, or when the sun truly began to set. I felt nothing as I must have stood to leave that spot, but I do remember picking one bright red rose from the bush.

He had loved me from this rose bush, and through this rose I would love him. That grave marked his death, but no my heart's. If my heart had gone with him, I wouldn't feel the pain anymore. His love was the last gift he gave me, and the very best one I could ask for. Nothing would take it away.


	45. Do You Hear the People Sing?

**Chapter 45: Do You Hear the People Sing?**

_Do you hear the people sing?_

_Singing the songs of angry men_

_It is the music of a people who will not be slave again_

_When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums_

_There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes_

_-Les Miserables_

I wasn't sure where Katniss and Peeta were, probably hiding out somewhere but I didn't mind. The living room on the train was deserted, only Finnick, Haymitch and I anywhere around.

"Four seemed different this morning, not as jovial as usual on the tour."

"Everyone is…" Finnick seemed to be searching for the right word "Tired."

"Tired? Is there a sickness going around?" Finnick and Haymitch looked at each other, then straight at me.

"It's now or never. She's as ready as she'll ever be." I didn't have time to ask Haymitch what he meant before Finnick started talking fast.

"Look at the world, December. Things are changing, revolution is blooming and your time to make a choice will come. You won't be able to float back and forth between us and your home life once things begin." Finnick untwisted the rose, the one I had left hanging to dry, from its string, walking over to me slowly and extending it toward me. "This is what Thresh wanted, he wanted you to understand. He loved you, and he must of saw you as something different from everyone in the Capitol. Be different."

I took the rose, softly brushing my fingers over the drying petals and wondering if tears would revive them, but I said nothing.

"You won't have entirety to choose, you know. One day it will be too late and you'll regret it. It's time for you to grow up from being your father's little pet."

"Haymitch..."

"Shut up, Finnick. You know that I'm right, and your little nice talks aren't going to do anything! She's a child and children need to be yelled at sometimes to spur them into action."

"What do you expect me to do? Tell my father to provide for the Districts more, convince my brother and sister to let me be President instead? You are all crazy."

"That's exactly what you should do! You should step up and be the better person out of your blasted family!"

"That's treason!"

"Everything against you is treason. Don't you ever just want an honest opinion?"

"I get honest opinions, how do you think I know I'm stubborn, insensitive and proud?"

"Then if you know your qualities, realize how those same ones are blinding you right now! Look at yourself, December Everett Snow, and ask if you'll like yourself when watching you on the screens like the Districts do."

"The Capitol loves me."

"Then ask why everyone else hates it."

"They hate it because they hate what we need to do to preserve this nation. The Districts can't see the threat they pose to humanity when given too much power!"

"Or maybe your own father has too much power!"

"My father is the best man for the job! Would you have the strength, Haymitch, for the tough days in the office? You would just turn to a drunkard as you always do!'

"Maybe I've had so much pain at his hands that's all I can do!"

"Don't tell me what to do! You don't have the right!"

"Someone needs to!"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Maybe I care because I lost everything to your father! He ruined my life, ruined it from the day I was born and then just forced it to get worse. The year you were born, I was ready to give up, to stop fighting and then I thought about you, stuck in his palm because of fate and nothing you could do to help it. He's destroyed me, and I'm not even his child. I don't want to think what he could do to you, what he has done."

"My father loves me! You're just made your outskirts girl died and you have no family! You're jealous of me, you always have been! Papa is right when he tells me to be careful around your lot!"

"You saw what happened in 11! That's about to happen all over Panem ad you with your elite circle won't know what to do when it does!"

"The Peacekeepers will put it down just like they did in 11. That is their job! Should I take this as you want a rebellion in 12?"

"Twelve wouldn't survive a rebellion." His statement made my blood run cold. They wouldn't survive one, not that they wouldn't have one. It was disgusting. We gave them everything, and all they wanted was more.

"You better hope twelve doesn't rebel Haymitch Abernathy, or I will hold you responsible."

"No you won't. There is someone in twelve you hate a lot more than me."

Katniss Everdeen. I did hate her more. "You're right. I'll make sure you both die together."

He caught my wrist as I stood. "Little one..."

"I'm not your little one." I ripped my wrist from his grasp, stalking out of the room towards my compartment. I could hear them shouting at each other, hear the silence and then footsteps walking towards me. Finnick knocked lightly, I opened the door slowly to make sure Haymitch hadn't followed.

"I figured you weren't incredibly mad at me yet." He walked in quickly, shutting the door quietly.

"I have a feeling I might be soon." My voice was curt, and I couldn't help but remember the look on the faces in the crowd this morning. Four was ready to go. Finnick had to be blamed. He sighed, no doubt knowing my feelings, and settled into an armchair.

"Remember what I once told you, to pretend the cameras are your friends." I nodded, how could I forget? That was the day I coined my catch phrase. "You don't need to pretend anymore. They are your friends, the Capitol people trust you. That's power, December, and one day you'll be valuable to a side, and you will be pulled one way. Haymitch wants to keep you safe from that; it isn't an easy role to play. The only way he knows to get across to teenagers is to sometimes shout."

"Always shout. He doesn't shout at Katniss, he just gets cross at her. He shouts at me and I'm not his tribute, I'm not his child."

"Think of Thresh. Just try it, December. Think of him in that crowd at 11 and decide where he would have been."

"Wherever was best for me. He said so himself before he…" I couldn't say the word. I still couldn't admit it to myself.

"It's time you decide exactly what that meant. Maybe, this chance at the world changing is better for you."

Then everything clicked, and I knew Finnick saw it in my eyes. He held me down as I tried to stand, tried to run back to Haymitch and slap him, or something. Could I have him arrested?

Thresh. My Thresh. His resignation to death those last few days, the secret meetings with Haymitch, and Chaff knowing all along. Haymitch convinced him that my life would be better if Katniss won. _I'm not the Victor that Panem needed, that you needed. _

"Let me go, Finnick! Let me go!" I tried to bite his wrist but he wouldn't let me close. "I'm going to kill him like he killed Thresh!"

"Cato killed Thresh."

"Don't pretend you don't know. That was the deal, wasn't it? It wasn't that they wouldn't hurt each other at all. It was that he would sacrifice himself if Katniss was still alive! That's why he took the backpack, that's why he wanted Cato chasing after him."

"Don't attack Haymitch, December. He did his job, he protected his tributes. You're fight isn't with Haymitch, it's with Katniss and it always will be if there is one at all." He was right, and I relaxed enough for Finnick to let me go. Haymitch and I always forgave each other in the end, we moved on. Yet, could I move on this time?

The phone began to ring, and I glanced at the caller ID. "It's Papa." Finnick nodded, taking his leave without another word, as though nothing had happened when so much had. "Hello?" I sounded tired, exhausted from the arguments, from trying to understand their warped thinking, from finding the truth.

"Just calling to check in, my rose. How is the tour?" His voice was light-hearted; mocking almost as though he knew this year was different. As much as I wanted too though, this wasn't the place to talk.

"Fine, papa."

"Have you seen many of the Districts, or just stayed on the train?"

"I've gone out a bit." I silently hoped he wouldn't ask what that meant. A trip to Thresh's grave was probably not on his 'allowed adventures' list. "Any talk about the Quell?" The best way to avoid questions was to ask your own.

"A bit. Any thought of the rule change that you've heard?"

"Some, but no one is really talking about that. Mostly about how many interviews Haymitch will have to do." I smirked, remembering Effie's comments about how he better look nice. No matter what, Haymitch always looks like a drunk. She has high hopes.

"Well, we are announcing the change soon. Tell me, my rose, if one thing could happen in the Quell, what would you want to have done?"

I spoke without missing a beat, knowing deep down what I wanted all along, knowing what would end all of it. They wanted her alive to play their games, but I wasn't going to play along.

"I would want to see Katniss dead."

**Please review! We are in the home stretch, but I promise there will be a sequel. I've started working on the final chapter and I have decided to go into different points of view. Let me know anyone's head you guys want to be in, or even what you want to understand from that person! It's about six chapters away!**


	46. Haunted

**Chapter 46: Haunted**

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back now, I'm haunted_

_-Taylor Swift_

This night shouldn't belong to Katniss, or Peeta, or any of them. This night should have been mine, mine and Thresh. They took it from me, they cheated and lied. I hated every one of them.

"You'll get wrinkles early if you glower like that." I tried to slap Darren away, but instead he grabbed my hand and held on. "I never thought you could hate Katniss more then you did six months ago. By your face, I could see I was wrong."

"You don't know the half of it."

"Then tell me. You used to tell me a lot." I remained silent as he leaned in closer, his breath on my neck. "I'd do anything to help you. Just tell me what you need."

"Why don't you listen for once?"

My question surprised him and he jerked away. "What?"

"Listen. I've told you what you need to know. I've told you what I need. You don't listen."

"Because you haven't told me anything!"

"Yes, I have. I've told you to get away from me. That it's all over, Darren. The deal is done. I'm never going to love you." I had only meant to have him understand. But as I looked in his eyes, I knew I did much worse.

"Is it me you hate? Is it really me that you could never love, or is it the world you've woken up to find? Would you love me if you never met him?"

Now was the moment I would truly hurt him. We had been childhood friends, class partners, fighting partners, music partners, and everyone was waiting for us to become so much more.

"No. I never would have loved you." We hurt others, which was our job, to keep our place and other's in there's. Darren was different; he was so close to my place. Still, he was below. They were all below.

He didn't say anything, just turning around to walk away for the first time. I didn't follow him with my eyes over to May. I knew that was where he would go. Like so many nights before, I ignored the party around me.

The only thing I noticed was Papa hiding in the corner, just watching the fake couple as they shook hands with forced smiles. He was watching for something to catch them on, something to use against them in the future. Silently, I took my place behind him and because we wanted it that way, our presence was not missed.

Things started to change in the Capitol less than a week later. My mother and May could spend hours obsessing over Katniss's wedding designs, ready to throw the party that Papa ordered, and missed the initial signs. I didn't.

It started in District 8, the day Katniss returned to 12. The others didn't walk the street to realize the fabric stores were eerie, colors and patterns disappearing from the shelf and not being replaced.

Then 4, with more of an immediate effect. I noticed trying to order in for lunch, when the shrimp disappeared from the menus, then other fish. He said nothing as I inquired, jaw locked tight and gaze constantly on the phone.

Somewhere, 3 and 7 joined the traitors, their products not as missed. We didn't need the wood for fire like the districts, we had heaters. Broken electronics were just fixed instead of replaced.

The fright began when the fruit ran scarce, only days before the Quell announcement. So many hadn't caught on, but now there were questions. I was in Papa's office when he got the call, and when he called Thread in 12 to electrify the fence. Our blame would fall, and it was time. I saw it in the tightness of papa's jaw, in the darkness in his eyes.

Haymitch's words haunted me, sending shivers down my spine whenever I thought of him. It was no use telling Papa, he already knew.

I was the one who failed. If Thresh had won, nothing would be going wrong. If I had saved him, everything would be ok. Haymitch abandoned me to his plan, left me when I thought I understood. He was the traitor, but I allowed him to become so. That was what my father could never know.

Even without my father and Cory with us, the Presidential Balcony seemed cramped and full. The Brodersons had joined us, Darren's hand twisted with May's, and Plutarch Havensbee as well. Tonight, after the dresses were displayed, the card would be read. Only a few of us knew it, the others were wondering why this programming was made open air in the circle. Tonight was a night worth twenty-five years of waiting.

I listened to the dress comments in silence, smirking at the common folk who had so much money at stake in their betting. Poor Katniss Everdeen can't even pick her own wedding dress. There was joy in that thought. We controlled her, we always would.

As the anthem played, Papa walked on the stage, Cory following behind with a wooden box in his hand. Tonight meant so much, the announcement of the Quell, Cory standing by my father publicly.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." I could feel Darren watching me, remembering those days were we replayed the twenty-fifth reaping on the screens. That was our favorite reaping, the one where neighbors turned on neighbors. You can't trust anyone.

"On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes." That was when Haymitch won, when he got in trouble for bending the rules. When he was like Katniss…

Katniss. How had it took me so long to see it?

"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell." My mind seemed blank as Cory approached my father, holding the box steady while the envelope was removed. "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

Katniss was going back in, and she would pay. Either Haymitch or Peeta would join her, and they would pay as well. Bending the rules can only work for so long.

**Hey guys, short chapter but I hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	47. Turning

**Chapter 47: Turning**

_Turning, turning, turning through the years_

_Minutes into hours and the hours into years._

_Nothing changes, nothing ever can_

_Round and round the roundabout and back where you began!_

_-Les Miserables_

The Games have begun. That's the thought in all our minds while we watch the trains roll in, while thousands are preparing for tonight's festivities. The Games have begun, and we have won. They may take our supplies, but we can still take their greatness treasures. We are still the Victors.

"You know what to do, my rose?" Papa kissed me once on the forehead before we turned from the office window.

"Always." He smiled, watching me walk from the room as the day began. This year, the stakes were higher, the betting more expensive. We knew their secrets, but we couldn't risk having anymore.

"Miss. Snow!" Daisy flew from behind her desk, heels clicking as she flipped through papers on her clipboard. "None of the mentors have arrived yet, surely you would want to wait..."

"My pass, Daisy. I have business to take care of." The harshness in my voice shut her up, forcing her to place the key card in my outstretched hand. "If Abernathy arrives before I come back down, tell him his floor is not yet ready and he can wait somewhere else."

I didn't give her a chance to confirm the order, just making my way to the elevator and up to twelve. I found them easily; the two assigned Avoxes and I wanted to laugh. Matching red heads, very clever. Jenna was waiting beside them, standing in a corner as they organized the common area.

A staff member approached me, but I waved him away. "I want all personnel off this floor until I say so. Except the Avoxes and their friend in the corner."

"Miss. Snow, if there is something we have done…"

I managed a weak smile, trying to make my voice a bit more pleasant. "I've just been doing a check on all the floors, to make sure they truly offer the best services to our lovely tributes as possible. I've been considering finding a career in Game management and Plutarch thought this would be a good way for me to start." It was so easy; throw out big names and they all go silent, too scared to defy orders.

The talkers cleared out quickly, leaving me alone with the three I had requested. "Jenna, your services are no longer required in this area. However, due to your translating skills I have secured you a job in the Avox service department, Report there the day after tomorrow." She nodded, glancing once at the Avoxes before disappearing.

"Now, Lavinia, I would like to check that our agreement still stands?" The girl nodded, a frightening grin spreading on her face while the boy one looked on in confusion. "I will send Kirsti by occasionally for information. Where are you from, boy?"

The boy didn't move, just staring at me and apparently trying to decide if I was real. He obviously was a District problem; anyone here would have seen me enough off the screens to not wait so long. "Answer me." He held up ten fingers, and then another two and I wanted to squeal with joy. "Twelve? Then you must know Katniss Everdeen personally." He shook his head no, but Lavinia hit him on the arm. "I would encourage you to tell me the truth. There is much worse that can be done then you losing your ability to speak." He nodded, trying to avoid my stare.

Instead of forcing more answers, I went over to the management screen and searched for floor staff. It took only a moment to find his page. Darius, his name was, ex district twelve peacekeeper punished for interfering in a whipping. I continued to click, looking up the crime to find the victim was none other then Katniss's fake cousin.

Papa put him here to throw off Katniss, and sent me here to make sure he knew the stakes. To frighten him enough to frighten her. I started to laugh, Lavinia breaking another one of her cruel smiles as I turned from the screen. She knew what I had just learned, and it brought her as much joy.

"Darius, listen to me. You know who I am; you know what I can do. If it wasn't for the trouble Katniss caused, we would have left your district alone. You wouldn't be here if you didn't fall for her tricks. There are nicer jobs for Avoxes I could get you if you work for me well. Take Lavinia for example, after these games she'll be happily training Avoxes for service, and get pay to rent her own place outside the Avox quarters." He didn't nod, just started start off in the distance.

"Take care of him Lavinia, and make sure we know everything Katniss is doing." She nodded, following me to the elevator door. She gestured back to the boy one and gives me a shake of the head. I knew what she meant, that he was hopeless, that we couldn't trust him. "Lavinia, darling. The best way to deal with Katniss is to mess with her nerves. Just seeing him will unhinge her, but if he tries to reach out, to warn her then she will no longer trust anyone. Let's hope he is dumb enough to do that, shall we?"

I let the elevator doors slide shut behind me, walking out through the lobby without a word to anyone. As I came out the front door, Haymitch was getting out of a car. "December!" He waved me over, but I kept walking. He betrayed me, and I don't talk to traitors until they are behind bars.

The day passed quickly, most of it spent in a prep session with Margarita. I barely paid attention to her, ignoring the rumblings of complaints about shortages, and then her exclamations of my beauty. No one needed to tell me what I already knew.

I was not surprised when she told me that my Game's gift from Papa included the gown along with the pearl hairpiece. It was publicity a move, a move to say that beside the shortages, we can still take care of our own. There was an excess of fabric, a long trail that rolled up when I wanted to walk casually.

The pale blue color brought out my grey eyes, making them sparkle like the diamonds I normally wore. Instead, all my jewelry was pearl, the one luxury item that came out of District 4. Then there was cream lace down the back, the thinnest I had ever seen, laced with red roses that matched the one ruby on my necklace.

"Ember? Can I come in?" The little voice spoke from the door that he slightly opened, and I called him in. "Papa said that tonight I could come down with you, if you let me." He entered the room, in a striking red suit with pearl buttons. I knew without asking that May would be in mostly cream with a trace of blue and red tonight as well. We were a set.

"Of course you can, baby brother! What a surprise Caesar will enjoy!" I took his hands, spinning around the room with him.

"If we are to be on camera, you may not call me baby brother anymore." I laughed, patting his head as Margarita opened the door the rest of the way for us to depart.

I noticed that everything was different the moment we entered the chariot holding area. They were all conversing, no one in their proper spots, mentors with other mentors and tributes with other tributes. Instinctively, I pulled Cory into me.

No one approached me, no one waved to me to get attention. Most didn't even see me. Except Finnick. He waved, starting to walk over in his netted outfit, but I turned. He needed to understand he wasn't forgiven for knowing and doing nothing.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him approach Katniss, holding a handful of sugar cubes and tossing one in his mouth. I can't look away as he starts fingering the collar of her outfit. He begins whispering in her ear, and she blushes. Then, as Peeta approaches he walks away.

_"It is amazing the secrets some are willing to share. Now, when are you going to be ready to share all of yours?" _How long ago had that been, two years? I was fourteen; too young to understand the games they were playing with me. Now they've moved on. They've all chosen her. They chose wrong.

Peeta watched me for a moment, and I knew he knew that I would give him nothing. I had told him why on the tour, before I ever thought I might need to consider it. He hadn't told Katniss, that much I knew. He also didn't seem angry at all, just sympathetic. I hated sympathy.

One did approach me, right as I gestured Cory to head to the stage door. Chaff. "Hey, kid. Don't blame them all. He's dead, but you know it was his choice."

"How long did you know?" Cory wasn't listen, his focus on the horses but I whispered in his ear for him to head towards the waiting programmers, promising him I would only be a minute.

"He told me the morning he left, right before you came in. I should have kept Haymitch away. I tried to tell him, December. I tried to tell him that wasn't what you wanted. I'm sorry I failed."

"So you feel for me?"

"I feel for him, for how in love he was with you and how that blinded him. I wish things had been different for the boy, for you even. You both are children who didn't understand the world and how things need to be." Anger flashed through my blood, I wanted to slap him, make him know that I did understand. I understood everything. Instead, he just walked away.

"Good luck in the arena without a hand! Shouldn't have let your pride get in the way of them fixing it years ago!" Brutus heard me and started laughing with Enobaria. That weakness made Chaff easy pickings.

"Miss. Snow! We are ready for you!" I nodded at the production agent, walking over quickly as someone let loose the trail of my gown, letting the wealth of the Capitol fall around me. I heard a few tributes behind me gasp, but I kept walking, never looking back at those below.

"Welcome! To the Opening Ceremonies of the 75th Hunger Games! Welcome to our Quarter Quell!" The audience clapped and shouted, and I took Cory's hand to take the stage. "Let's have a round of applause for December Snow!"

I dropped Cory's hand. Years ago, I had made this walk on my own. It was his turn now. He knew, and he watched me walk out before him. "Did you miss me?" The cheers began again as I took my seat before gesturing for them to all calm down. "Caesar, you might need to bring one more chair out here, I have a surprise for you?"

"Really? Well, how about you stand up and show us that beautiful dress while they reorganize for us then?" I smiled; standing once more and walking a bit left and right to make sure everyone grasped the train, tilting my head so light reflected off the pearls, making sure everyone saw the riches. Before sitting once more when the seats were in place, I glanced up at the presidential balcony. Papa smiled, showing me I had played it right as always.

"Now, December, introduce your special surprise!" I gestured towards Cory who I could barely make out in the offstage darkness. He paused a moment before stepping out into the lights, walking proud towards me.

It took only a moment for the Capitol to realize who he was, for them to all start cheering. "Can it be?" Caesar was shouting, standing to shake my brother's hand. "Is it really you, Coriolanus Snow Jr?"

"How long have I kept you waiting?" He asked it so innocently, so sweetly and the crowd rose to their feet. I knew without being told that my brother had just coined his catch phrase, as I coined mine on this stage years ago.

"Not too long at all, my boy! Only your entire life!" Everyone laughed, I hadn't felt so happy in months. "Now that you've made your official public appearance, I hope to be spending much more time with you!"

"Of course, Caesar, whatever you need to keep doing such a wonderful job for all of us." Flickerman bowed as the Capitol screamed his name.

"We only have a few moments left, but I want to hear both of your early bets. And don't give me your 'it's to early to tell' talk like you do every year, December. This time you've known most of these tributes quite personally."

Last year, I wanted to say, I knew one of them the best I've ever known anyone. Instead, I laughed. "Alright, Caesar, I'll tell you." I started running a list through my head and for a moment wished I had talked to Darren. He knew the stats better than I ever did. "1, 2," Three was smart, but now they were old. Next was Finnick, who was the first I couldn't decide. Sponsor, or not? He had a fair chance, better than most but right now he was on my bad side. But if he won... "4." No sense this early bothering to count out Mags. It would take an extra breath. For a moment, I couldn't even remember 5 or 6, so nothing special there. "7". Eight was an old man and a mother. I think she cried at the reaping. Crying is weak. Nine had nothing special as well. I was about to skip by ten, knowing Seeder was a pushover and Chaff lacked a hand, but Darren was trying to get my attention from the balcony, trying to flash 11 fingers. Now I was the pushover. "11."

I remained silent, refusing to say either their names or numbers. No matter how everyone saw their odds to be, I would not support 12.

"And what about 12, our star-crossed lovers?" I wanted to punch Caesar for asking. Now I needed a reasonable excuse. Then it hit me.

"Exactly, they are in love. Love weakens you; love makes you want to sacrifice yourself. One won't come out without the other, they won't want to." Thresh's love had led him to sacrifice, even when he didn't see how wrong it was.

"Alright, so December Snow says 1, 2, 4, 7, and 11. Now, what about Coriolanus Jr?"

"Call me Cory, Caesar, everyone else does." He smiled, before gazing off to the Presidential balcony and I saw Darren holding up numbers for him. "1, 2, 4, 7, 11," Cory paused for a moment while Darren glanced at my father, looking for guidance. Papa nodded consent. "and 12."

I saw in a moment what Papa was trying to do. We couldn't openly support 12 to give the Capitol ideas, but we couldn't write them off in the Districts or then we would be saying it was open rebellion.

"So, some sibling contention going on here! Well, I can't wait to see how that plays out as we move on!" Caesar laughed before pointing to the hanger as the doors began to open.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome our good friends, our Victors who now are honored to play for us once more! The tributes of the 75th Hunger Games!"

As I watched the tributes roll out into the Circle, I knew one thing. No matter how hard they tried, no matter what they did. Nothing was going to happen, nothing was going to change. Year after year, they could struggle, they could fight but we would win. Tonight, they were still paying for their first rebellion.

**Please review! And again, let me know any other POVs you guys want to see!**


	48. The Ruler and the Killer

**Thanks to Electric-Aura for such an awesome review! This update is for you! I was going to work on another piece but then you inspired me **

**Also, super excited to be using a song from the companion album**

**Chapter 48: The Ruler and the Killer**

_You Know You All Belong To Me_

_Come On Would You Get It Goin _

_Survival Of The Fittest _

_Loser You Will Answer To Me_

_The Ruler And The Killer Baby_

_-Kid Cudi_

"Hello papa." I pranced into the office, settling myself quickly at the table by the window. "You want me to order us lunch?"

"You could eat with the others for once, you know. It wouldn't be a crime." He laughed, writing notes on the paper he had been reading.

"Well, you didn't show up for breakfast this morning, and Cory went out with some friends…"

"Cory went out? Alone?" The pen dropped from his hand, tension rising in his voice.

"Don't worry. Mother knows and she sent a peacekeeper with them. It's a large crowd and Cory hasn't had an attack since our trip to the 67." I didn't say what we were both thinking, that he fell prey to that attack when we had been least expecting it. When we had let him join the world, go to school and make the same friends he was out with now. Time, for Cory, meant nothing. "Anyways, that only leaves May and Mother who are planning the First Day party so lunch in the family room didn't seem exciting at all."

"Alright, then. I could use a break from paper work. Order some fish, whatever kind they have." I nodded, walking over to the order screen and searching the menu. Reading through the options, feeling as though there were almost as many as before, I realized that papa had been right again. The beginning of the Games was enough to help people realize the fight was pointless. The districts were gaining sense.

"Oysters, clams or shrimp?" I saw in his smile the joy that I had to ask. He knew the old menu was back, this was his moment of pride.

"Get the oysters, my rose. And some salads to start us off." I hit a strawberry and orange salad, knowing the joy papa would get in the return of the fruit. It wasn't like those of our class ever suffered from the shortages; it had just taken a bit more nagging to order what we wanted.

Papa continued reading his papers until they brought the food, then he joined me at the table. We laughed, we feasted. That was our life, happiness and riches.

"Training scores tonight. Are you excited?"

"For another one of mother's parties? Of course papa, they are my favorite." He smiled, sucking an oyster from its shell with his thin lips wrapping around it. The slime of the creature dripped on his chin, covering him in wealth and luxury.

He dropped the shell as the phone rang, hustling to answer it. I sighed, wanting his attention of me again. I only ever got so long.

"What do you mean you don't know how to tell me what Katniss did… shut up Plutarch, that was a rhetorical question. Hang on, I want to screen call. I want to see the whites of your eyes." He slammed the phone down, turning on a screen by his desk and I walked up to stand beside him.

Plutarch didn't question my presence, but I could tell it unhinged him. "Mr. President, we are contacting you because we wanted to run any plans by you. It wasn't just Everdeen, it was also the boy. He painted a picture, of the little 11 girl from last year, covered in flowers. Then Everdeen came in after her and …well, um…"

"Spit it out Plutarch, you are trying my patience." For the first time the Gamemaker looked scared, frightened beyond his wits, even when he watch Crane die.

"She hung Crane."

"What?" My father and I spoke at the same time, leaning in closer to the screen.

"She took one of the practice dummies, tied a noose around it and then painted Crane's name on it with berry juice."

"Crane's name in berry juice?" My father just laughed, and I joined in with him catching it right away. Berry juice. She frightened Plutarch with berries just like she threw Crane off guard with those nasty little things. Some say her weapon is the bow, we knew better. "Come now, Plutarch. Surely you can deal with this problem on your own. Seneca never called me when she shot an arrow at him."

"Well sure, because he never did when she held out the berries either, he gave her the chance to hang him." I stared at the screen dumbfounded. He had a point, I just never assumed he had the guts to make one.

"Alright, then. What's your first instinct say?"

"Get rid of her sponsors. Give both of them ones."

"No, people know her. They saw her in the arena just last year. That will do nothing." If I could reach through the screen, I would shake Plutarch for being so stupid. On the bright side, his face that I spoke up against him with priceless enough for my joy.

"Give her a twelve, give the boy a twelve. That will solve your problem." Both the Game maker and I stared at my father for a moment before realized what he was doing. Making them a target the others couldn't ignore. While the first two tributes to ever get a 12 were alive, they were in jeopardy. The careers would have them gone in a minute.

"Thank you, Mr. President. It will be done." Plutarch reached for the button to turn off his screen, but my father stopped him.

"Havensbee, get rid of those two quickly. No fancy work, just end them, all right?" The man nodded, his screen going blank.

"Let's take a walk." I took his outstretched hand, letting him lead me from the office and down twisted halls to the rose garden. Rows and rows of colored flowers with strong scents filled my vision, the smell of home and love entrapping me.

"So, what has your intelligence in 12's rooms told you lately?"

"Haymitch wants them to ally with his friends, Finnick and Chaff and such. Katniss wants three and Mags. I think she pities them." My father nodded, waiting for me to continue. "She also let me know that Katniss is indeed uncomfortable around the new avox, the one from 12. Even spilled something the first night to try and talk to him under the table."

Papa was silent for a moment, hooking arms with me while we walked through the flowers. "I was here with Crane when he told me why he gave her that 11 last year, the morning after the announcement. Let me ask you a question that I asked him. Why do we have a victor?"

"Because if they all thought they weren't going to win, why would they kill in the first place?"

"Exactly, my rose. Our survival instincts are the strongest thing in us along with one other thing, but they go hand in hand. Can you guess what it is?" I shook my head. "Hope."

"Hope." I repeated. "The hope lets us think we will survive, enough to spear our instincts into action. You can't have one without the other."

"And your mother worries about you grades. You have a future ahead of you, my rose, with a clever brain like that." He bopped me on the nose, pulling a flower from one of the bushing we were walking past and checking it over for signs of damage. This random selection to check for problems with a bush, the same way he had tended the garden for years reminded me of the games. We randomly selected to remind the districts of their imperfections. It works in a garden; it works on the district people as well.

Like roses, the thorns of one person can destroy the other. You just better hope you have the toughest thorns. Throughout my life, the gardens had taught me one more thing. The strength doesn't come from life experiences, what you learn or anything else. A rose is either born stronger then the others on the bush or not. For people, it's either in your blood as a Capitol child, or not and your life is in the Districts.


	49. I Believe in You

**Chapter 49: I Believe in You**

_I hear the sound of good, solid judgment_

_Whenever you talk;_

_Yet there's the bold, brave spring of the tiger_

_That quickens your walk._

_-How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying_

"I'm not here to talk to you."

Haymitch grasped my arm, desperately trying to keep me in place. I had to check in with Lavinia, and Kirsti had information saying Haymitch was spending the day out of the building with some other mentors. That he was somewhere else.

"I know. If you thought that I would be here, you wouldn't have come looking for whoever else it is you want." At least he didn't know about Lavinia. "Stop avoiding me, December. That won't do you any good. Make this easy. Just say it."

"You killed him."

"I know." He paused and I knew what he was waiting for; permission to say where I fell short. I just nodded. In the end, I was the one who promised to save him. "You didn't listen to what he was trying to tell you."

That stopped me. I was expecting anything else, how I shouldn't have bargained with Darren; I should have made my father save him. I should have confessed my love like Peeta did. Not that I didn't listen. Typical Haymitch, making everything much more complicated than it had to be.

"You told him that this was what we best for me. You were being dumb."

"You were dumb to ever think something would work out between the two of you."

"You just want to ruin my life like my father ruined yours."

"You can't see anything past your little Capitol nose." He bopped me on the nose, and I slapped him away. This wasn't funny, though considering he probably had a fair amount of alcohol in him, he found the whole exchange quite hilarious.

"You fail to see your District as the slum it is."

"You should be going into the arena instead of Peeta. You deserve to die more."

"I know." Again, he surprised me and I tried to pull away once more, but he still held tight. "Do you think I wanted the boy to volunteer for me? I couldn't talk him out of it. Both of us will get Katniss out alive, understand me? I would have gladly given her my life because don't you see that I have nothing left?"

He raised his other hand to shake my shoulder, but that's when I gained enough strength to pull away. That's when I saw the gold bracelet.

"Why?" I couldn't say anything else and I knew he understood. He had understood me since I was a child.

"Why her and not you, that's what you mean." I shook my head, not even wanting to admit it myself. I didn't care who he chose to safeguard, to protect. I didn't need him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

That's when I felt the tears begin and I wanted to rush away, but my feet felt glued to the ground. Nothing made sense, nothing was understandable anymore. I let him wrap his arms around me, let him pretend to be protecting me once more. My mind flashed back to little more then a year ago, when he held me in his arms on the couch, pressing warm cider to my lips as I cried.

When I was crying over Thresh, because he lied to me. I stood up quickly, no longer caring about talking to Lavinia. I just needed to get away. "December…"

"I don't want to be near you."

He sighed, following two steps behind me to the front door. "I won't be able to see you while the Games are on. I'll need to focus on Katniss and Peeta."

"Good." I threw open the door, stepping out into the sunlight.

"December, promise me one thing." I just whipped my head around to glare at him, my patience running out. "Always remember who the real enemy is. Don't forget that."

"Of course I won't." How could I forget how many time he betrayed me?

I wouldn't realize for four days that that was his way of saying goodbye.

**X X X**

"You are never early, are you?" I settled into my seat beside papa as the lights dimmed on the stage below us. "I have a surprise that you might appreciate."

"Really? And what is that?"

"Just wait until you see Katniss." I laughed, eagerly looking past the emerging tributes to the back of the line. Then I saw her, and I've never been happier.

"There is no way that was your idea. It's not your style."

"No, it's not. It was May's. She stopped in the office a few days and said it was such a shame Katniss won't ever get to wear those gorgeous dresses, and that people still voted for their favorite. We had to announce the winning dress somehow, and May suggested tonight." He leaned in, whispering in my ear. "Turns out she got some of your wit after all."

I laughed along with him, watching Katniss's darkened face as Cashmere settled into the seat beside Caesar. "Oh Caesar, you must tell me how my mascara looks. My stylist does such a beautiful job but I've been ruining her work all week."

"Crying? Surely not you, Cashmere."

"Oh, I know but I just keep thinking of everyone in the Capitol and how sad they must be because we've all become friends. How can they even think of choosing one of twenty four friends to sponsor?" There is a low murmur in the crowd and Papa straightened in his chair to see over the balcony rail better. Everyone was whispering to each other, looking anxiously at the tributes.

Gloss came next. "I just want to thank all of you for the love you've given Cashmere and I. I remember when one of you sent both of us matching hairbrushes in our years. It was so thoughtful because sometimes in the arena the other tributes forget about beauty. They aren't used to it, like all of you are and it's just so sad. I've gotten used to it now and I truly will miss looking my best just for you." Loud cheers broke out, girls throughout the audience throwing compacts and make-up onto the stage. There was a momentary pause while it was all cleared away.

Brutus and Enobaria gave us a break, returning to the regular old interview, but I groaned as Beetee started with legal matters, asking which law was stronger; the one where Victors weren't reaped again or where we abide by the Quarter Quell.

Finnick made me sick, reciting some love poem about a perfect summer in her eyes, and the ocean waves carrying him away forever. Papa snickered as we watched every girl in the audience swoon because they thought he meant her. Idiots.

The usual whispers on the balcony have stopped by the time Seeder was talking, everyone listening close as she spoke my father's name. "He's all-power isn't he, that's what we all think back home. He has to be, he's our President. I know that the Games are laws 75 years old, but he could change it, couldn't he?"

A low sound came from my father and I reached for his hand. Chaff followed immediately, saying papa could change it if he wanted to. I'd never seen my father go that pale as I heard him whisper softly. "It has to be done. For the good of all, it has to be done."

The crowd was weeping and yelling as Katniss stepped forward, another round of cacophony began. Then I smirk, leaning over to watch the time tick away on papa's watch. May had done more then aggravate Katniss, she had taken her chance to speak away.

"I'm so sorry you won't get to be at my wedding…but I'm glad you at least get to see me in my dress. Isn't it just…the most beautiful thing?" I snickered, then she began to twirl and she is on fire once more.

The transition only takes a moment, but it feels like eternity as the dress fades away into darkness. My father and I recognize her new outfit for what it is before Katniss even says the word. "A mockingjay, I think."

Mr. Broderson moved forward immediately, directing Cory to a new seat from my father's other side. "Mr. President, what action…"

"Hush Tauro. It will go on. We are too late to stop it for tonight." We watch as Cinna takes a bow at Caesar's command for his work on the dress. Nothing else moves, even the crowd awed into silence as we watch from the balcony.

Yet, as my family stiffens, the crowd begins to applaud. No one hears the buzzer when it calls Katniss's time, except for the pair on stage. The new spring in Katniss's step doesn't go unnoticed by me, but Mr. Broderson's focus was on something else entirely as the last tribute settled into the interview chair.

"Coriolanus, the boy…"

"Can't do any more harm than she just did."

Suddenly, I'm frightened for myself. Peeta doesn't really answer Caesar's questions, his mind elsewhere and I notice him sneak a few glances up to our balcony, each one landing on me. He wouldn't. What did he have to gain from telling them about Thresh and me? Nothing, at least that's what I whispered to myself.

"One minute I'm seeing Katniss looking so beautiful in all these wedding gowns, and the next…"

"You realize there was never going to be a wedding?"

Peeta says nothing, taking one last long look out on the crowd and his eyes flicker up to me once more. _Please. _I don't think he saw my mouth the word. I'm too high.

"Caesar, do you think all our friends here can keep a secret?" The audience laughs lightly and on the inside I'm groaning. Papa was wrong; Peeta could do much worse than Katniss. "We're already married."

The crowd gasps, but I'm no longer listening. I was wrong, he couldn't hurt anything. It was always him and Katniss nothing more.

But when I tune back in, I realize I was right, just not in the way I expected.

"Surely even a brief time is better than no time?" Caesar's voice is soft, as though he is comforting the boy.

"Maybe I'd think that, too, Caesar, if it weren't for the baby." Silence, true silence covers Panem. There is always silence before the storm.

They begin the anthem early as the crowd erupts, and Peeta reaches for Katniss's hand while tears stream down his face. In that moment, I hated him more then ever for being able to cry.

And things get worse. They all take hands, unifying as though tomorrow they won't be killing each other. It only takes a second for the screens to start and shut off, but they are too late. Live feed is dangerous, and twelve just played us all.

People start screaming, the crowd below flying from their seats, some trying to jump onto the stage. "Mr. President, orders." Broderson is already standing, opening the emergency screen on my father's chair and putting a page through to the Head Peacekeeper.

Papa is silent, not moving as the balcony begins to clear out, knowing this is no longer their place. I reach for Cory's hand, but Papa's stops me. "Both of you stay here. May, you too."

"Coriolanus! You don't need the children!" Mother's eyes were red as she clasped onto my sister.

"They need to be prepared, in case…" The sentence falls flat but I know what he is thinking. Mr. Broderson gestures for Darren to stay as well and he falls into place

"Let me take the girls, get them safe inside the mansion."

"No!" He stood quickly, ripping mother's hand from May.

"Then December, she's third…"

"They all need to know, Maribelle."

My mother's face darkened but she turned away as the entire balcony hurt the anger in her voice. "Like it or not, Coriolanus. That one could never rule Panem. You know what she is."

I couldn't help but snicker as my mother walked away. She hated me, hated my stubbornness and pride, but those were the qualities that could make me a leader. They were the ones I shared with my father.

"Tauro, I want full lock down of the Circle. Check identity on everyone down there before they can leave."

Father's advisor nodded, typing orders into the screen. "Shall I cancel all events planned to take place later this evening in the Circle?' Father looked at us, his gaze focused on May and we knew he awaited his answer there.

"Clear it, then only let the higher class citizens come back. Cancel the earlier events but if you cancel everything then people will really start to think of this Game as different."

"Well done, May." Father leans over to the screen, looking at the list of questions officials were already sending in. "Darren, what should we do about the interview recap?"

"Cancel it, and instead show a recap of each of the victor's bloodiest moments in the arena, where they killed someone."

"I like it." The two grown men smiled. "December, what do we do about our little Mockingjay?"

I thought for a moment, thinking about her holding out her hand to Chaff, Peeta's lie about the baby. That's the problem; it's a lie so we can't just force her into miscarriage. I keep thinking, and that spring in her step after her dress changed haunted me.

"Unhinge her." I knew my father was waiting for more, and I ran through Katniss's next twelve hours in my head. We needed something she would still be shaken up from when entering the arena. Haymitch, this was all his fault but she never seemed incredibly warm to him. Plus, it was Cinna she sees last. "Cinna. The dress was his fault anyway, wasn't it?" Now, Tauro and my father were laughing.

"Alright, Cory. Your turn. Who do we make sure is dead on day one?" I watched my brother think for a minute, the answer obvious to everyone else on the balcony.

"Cecilia and Seeder." I stared at him in shock and he knew why. "Not Katniss, she needs to die at the hand of someone else. It needs to look like even other district citizen don't support her. Everyone knows Cecilia has children and that will warn everyone else to think of their families. Seeder, however, was the first one to directly say that this is your fault papa. She should be silenced as well."

"Have it done. Tell Plutarch immediately." Tauro nodded, shutting down the screen and stowing it back to it's hidden location. "Well done, children. It's a comfort to know that one day I will leave Panem in four capable hands." He kissed each of our foreheads, then gave Darren a strong hand shake. I beamed from the most straight out praise he had ever given at our ability to lead. Maybe mother didn't have faith in me, but she didn't matter. She wasn't President.

Cory and Tauro followed my father from the balcony. "How long do you think it will be until the party starts again in the circle?" With Darren's question, the three of us leaned over the rail to look at the already thinned out crowd.

'I would guess not much longer. They'll have it open as soon as possible to keep gossip down." My sister was right and she started walking towards the door. "I'm going home." She said nothing else, just disappearing into the night.

"That was clever, you know. About Cinna." I didn't take my eyes from the Circle.

"You too. Not bad. If that was a test, I would say we passed."

"It wasn't a test. Your father wouldn't have let us give orders on a night like tonight unless he knew we could do it. He was showing us our strengths."

"Really? Then what are our strengths?"

"Me, I know how the people of the Capitol think. That's my father's job in the end, to tell the President what the people right here need at that moment. Your father has to think all of Panem instead. Cory's strength is in his ability to surprise. He is more then the frail little boy we can't forget to see. May, she is one of them. I might know how they think, but that is the way she thinks."

"Then you two will make a good pair."

"What?"

"You know, when we are all older. When you marry her."

"Are you nuts?" I finally turned to look at him. Hurt seemed to flash in his eyes, but I knew it couldn't be there. He had moved on from me by now. "I won't marry her, don't you get that?" I said nothing, and in frustration her walked towards the door. "I'll see you down in the Circle."

"Darren, wait." He paused, turning and I saw another flicker of emotion in his eyes though I couldn't name it. "You never said what my strength was."

"You." He sighed, shutting his eyes momentarily. "I haven't found a name for it yet."

"Try." I managed a weak smile, for some reason just wanting him to smile back.

"You are the exact way that a rose should be. Beautiful from far away, but when you get closer a nest of thorns. No one could ever touch you, just like your father."

He left before I could reply, but I smiled for real as another thought struck. Isn't this what Haymitch always wanted? He wanted me to lead, to convince my father that I deserved power and tonight, which is what I did. I convinced papa he had raised me right. I was his daughter, just like he always desired me to be. Darren just confirmed it. Maybe Haymitch would hear that Cinna's punishment was my order. Secretly, I hoped he would. Then he could know that all these years, I really have been listening.


	50. One Day More

**Chapter 50: One Day More**

_Tomorrow we'll discover_

_What our god in heaven has in store_

_One more dawn_

_One more day_

_One day more_

_-Les Miserables_

I threaded through the crowds carefully, my heels sticking in between the blocks of pavement as I chased after Darren. Tonight, we felt like old friends again. Everything felt in place. Papa had done that, by given us our chance to prove ourselves. No matter what happened, it would always be the three Snow children and the Broderson boy. We were raised to be a set of leaders.

The City was alive, buzzing with joy and excitement, whispered words of the victors now tributes filling my ears. "Hurry up, Snow, or we won't be in the center for the fireworks." It was no use pointing out that the best seats would already be taken; he dragged me along as an excuse to make others move. The first blast sounded and I glanced behind me, seeing the training center illuminated.

What was Haymitch whispering inside to his tributes? What last minute advice did he have to keep them alive, again? I thought of his long face the last week, of his sorrowful eyes and knew exactly what he was thinking. He couldn't get both out again. What other thought could be over-taking his mind? Yet, they deserved to die, surely he knew that.

**XXX**

He felt empty as he sat on the twelfth floor couch. There was a meeting going on downstairs, the last one before principal players in the scheme entered the arena, yet he didn't move. Haymitch Abernathy refused to admit he was watching the screens for just a glimpse of her during the party outside. A child had captured his mind years ago, and he couldn't let go. Starting tomorrow, he would have to cut her off to protect her. Once their plan was achieved, if she was suspected… he couldn't bear to think of it. His thoughts focused her from early in the night, when the screens flashed to the Presidential balcony during Finnick's interview. Somehow, the little one was smiling and laughing as the blasted President whispered in her ear.

Tomorrow, everything would change for him. He had chosen to leave her behind, hadn't he? Yet, the child occupied his mind with such ferocity that he again debated ending it all, for her sake. He had voiced it once, to Finnick, and Finnick said that he needed to do it for Katniss's sake. However, Katniss Everdeen was not December Snow. She couldn't ever be for him. Katniss was his tool, his way to get revenge. That wasn't the way you used someone that was held in your heart. _Remember who the enemy is. _He had meant to tell Katniss something else, tell her about Finnick having the bracelet, but that was what he last said to her instead, the same last words he gave December. In that last moment, when Katniss stared at him, his eyes saw someone else. Those grey eyes haunted him and he couldn't say anything else. For Katniss, the enemy was clear, but whom had December chosen? He cursed himself for never doing enough to make sure he knew.

But as Haymitch's remembered the hooked hands and the crazed mob, he knew, though he wasn't sure how much he wanted to admit it, that tomorrow his place was the revolution instead.

**XXX**

"December, dance with me!" I laughed, for once gladly taking his arm as he twirled me over the pavement. I heard someone shout our names, press lights flashing across the Circle. Tonight, was the party of the year. No matter what my mother came up with, it never beat the rhythm of the streets on Game's eve. This was usually the only party everyone was invited to, if you found enough space for your body in the crowds. Normally the elite ignored the rags of the Outskirts at our sides. This year, only the upper class crowds with the government passes were allowed in after they cleared away all remnants of the interviews. No matter what, in the end they couldn't stop the Capitol from the party of the year.

Darren promised me the streets were safe, the trouble makers from the mass panic after the interviews well cleared away. I was sure he was right, yet so many familiar faces were missing from the crowd, especially the adults. They must be toasting champagne behind closed doors.

Papa no doubt was watching from the window of the Palace, smiling as he watched his creation. In the end tonight was his more then anyone else's. It was the night to celebrate the success of another year for Panem, as we knew it.

**XXX**

His lean frame rested against the window frame in the master bedroom, the President of Panem hearing his wife moving around by the bed. His piercing gaze was focused out through the glass on the City Circle below, seeing bunches of citizens clustered along the sidewalks as the parties continued. He searched for the white blond of his youngest daughter in the crowds, yet the shadows that the street lamps hadn't illuminated hid her. "Do you know why May came home early, Coriolanus?" He shook his head, never knowing the mind of his eldest. She was too distant to him. "Come to bed, don't be anxious."

"I'm not anxious." He knew it was a lie that his wife could see in his eyes. For all the time she spent in years past denying her love for him, she could read him second best of anyone, only less than December.

"Tomorrow will be a long day."

"Do I take it then that you forgive me?"

"No. If you could grant me one wish, Coriolanus, it would be that you remembered things the way they truly are, not the way you pretend them to be when it comes to your children." Maribelle squeezed his hand once before flicking off the light, leaving him to ponder his dark thoughts in shadows.

Tomorrow, Katniss would get her dues. The pregnancy shot was a cheap trick, one he would need to figure out how to lay the blame for. Haymitch or Peeta? Who does he attack to get on Katniss's nerves? There is always the sister, but that was a much more difficult card to play. December had done, well, deciding to punish Cinna but more might have to be done in the future because as single thought haunted him. Was this Haymitch's way to sneak back at him, send a single message through the boy?

No matter, tomorrow he would have the upper hand. Coriolanus Snow became President by making sure that was not a right he let slip away. Tomorrow, the majority of a budding rebellion would be silenced.

**XXX**

A screen showed the steps of the training center, peacekeepers trying to block mobs from breaking in. We couldn't wait till morning; we wanted our fun now. I laughed loudly, my eyes on the mad scramble to just touch the doors of the practically sacred building.

Poor tributes, the ones who didn't have the blood to sit on the couches tomorrow and watch. They were the ones who needed their energy, and the rush was probably keeping them wide-awake. Maybe some were still up planning, I didn't care. All twenty-four already had a strategy; they had for years since they last won. I bet they were sleeping.

**XXX**

Finnick couldn't help but stare at the empty seat to his left. He should be here; Haymitch had planned everything leading up to tonight with him. He pushed away questions of Haymitch's whereabouts. He tried to ignore the thought that he wasn't here because of her, because of that outskirts girl from years ago that left pieces broken in her wake.

"Look at them, running around the Circle like children. They all should be children." Chaff stood by the window, pulling back the shut curtains to peer into the gloom. The man at the head of the table watched in silence, desperately trying to focus his thoughts.

Mags reached to pat his hand that clutched the wood, telling it was time to step into the shoes Haymitch left lying about. "Everyone, take a seat." The crowd in the room shuffled momentarily before settling. "Yes, Haymitch has failed to show. No, he isn't abandoning our plan." Finnick had to reassure himself constantly. He was not abandoning us. It was his plan, his idea. Hadn't he already talked to Plutarch about convincing Coin to protect the girl? What was holding him back?

Snow had taken so much from them, but perhaps Haymitch had the most pain. Though, to Finnick, those with the most pain should be the ones leading a rebellion, not lying around drunk. Tomorrow, he would be in the arena, and it all was in Haymitch's hands. Yet, tomorrow meant Haymitch had one last night to agonize before his task began and Finnick understood his need for that.

**XXX**

The song changed and a loud cheer broke out as the Capitol recognized one of the new hits. To me, it sounded like all the other party songs, but all we needed was a strong beat. This wasn't the calm and collected fiddle music for sitting room parties.

"December! Have you seen May?" Macey Kieger tapped my shoulder and I jumped in surprise, yelling my response over the loud music.

"I think she went home, something about a headache while we were watching the interviews." Macey nodded, again disappearing into the crowds and Darren twirled me faster. A fleeting thought made me wonder at the nature of my sister's headache, and then it was gone.

**XXX**

The pretty twin clutched the mansion balcony rail tightly, watching the explosions of color illuminating the sky. She was the prettier one, the friendlier one, and the loyal one. She was everything the Capitol asked her to be, everything she had been made into, yet they all wanted the other twin. December was out in the crowd she knew, Darren following like the lost puppy he turned into every time she looked the other way. Her sister was flimsy, always living in a different world from the rest of the family. She was unreal; a floating figure that shifted through forms daily.

Their father had been the first to fall for the trap her sister lay, the first to give into the game. He reminded December that she was third in line; May knew that, yet she couldn't help but wonder if he truly remembered it. As a younger girl, she used to picture the day they were born. She had imagined the doctor handing him a beautiful bundle with pink rosy cheeks. He cuddled the baby, tears forming in his eyes while he looked at his first child. She couldn't remember how old she was when she started imagining him putting that babe aside for the second one the nurse handed him, the one that was squinty and struggling in the blanket, never looking back. Even tonight, it was December who chose how to punish the problem girl. Not, her, not the one second in line behind Cory.

Now, Darren had fallen in as well. She knew, she had known from the moment Darren raised his head when December walked in the room the first day he pretended to care for her. Then there was that short phase during the 74th Game when he never left December's side. Her twin must have given him false hope.

May knew how to play games; she was a Snow. That talent told her right away it wasn't a game she would win, but one worth a fight as well. Picking up the bits her sister left behind was better than having nothing at all.

Her father and Darren would make their choices for another day, the Capitol and Panem would choose as well. All May Vanessa Snow knew how to do was make sure she was still in the running tomorrow.

**XXX**

"So, technically I'm going to have you in my arms for two days." Darren laughed, talking into my ear so I could hear him clearly.

"And how is that?"

"It's almost midnight, you know. And I don't plan on giving you up before the clock strikes." I returned his laugh, closing my eyes to listen to the hum of the crowd, bright colors of fashion imprinted in my sight. I heard the next round of fireworks begin, and opened my eyes to see them illuminate Darren's face.

**XXX**

Darren Broderson felt the quickening of his pulse, as she seemed to gaze into his eyes. That sparkling grey captivated him, like it had since he was first conscious of being captivated. She looked away as quickly as she had glanced at him, his heart sinking. He had been so close a year ago, an exact year ago when he comforted her over Peeta's first interview, when he had watched her run off to the boy she loved. A year ago, he had been delusional that he could have made her love him, even with the lousy tribute around. With the boy's death he found a broken deal and a heart he didn't know how to mend.

The marriage question had bothered him. Was she really too dumb to see it all, or was she teasing him because she knew how she effected him. Peeta's games at least partially won him Katniss. Why couldn't his games win him December?

His thoughts tried to discern where he had gone wrong, from just yesterday to years ago. He learned to sing for her, to pair with her violin music that sent his soul aflame. He memorized game stats as a child to impress her. He ditched classes and stole training center keys to find an excuse just to be with her alone. Most of all, he had taken her sister's heart and tore it in two over and over again just for her to watch him for a moment.

Moments ran together, where he remembered the old smile she showed brightly each day, not the new one that seemed darker. He remembered her old giggle, her own bright laughter now a weak chuckle. He would always remember.

A year ago, Darren remembered thinking that tomorrow would bring him happiness. This time, tomorrow did not seem to hold anything but promise of the same life as always. A year later, he still wanted nothing more than to give her the golden band that collected dust in his bedside table drawer, but tomorrow that is where it would lie.

**XXX**

The pulse of the crowd thickened as clocks struck midnight, the excitement of Game day pounding in our hearts. Here, in this city we were one person, one body moving to the party music and welcoming in a new day. Today, the world was lit in energy and I was glowing with it.

"You're smiling. I never want to watch that smile fall away from your lips again."

"Don't you ever know when to stop?" I stepped away from him, my back bumping into another person of the crowd.

"You're changing again, into something new. It's like when he died, and I didn't know you anymore. You're acting like you used to, but that old sense about you I understood is gone, like the petals are out of order on a rose."

I still ignored his outstretched hand, not wanting to touch him, be close to him. "There's a thing about roses, Darren. Sometimes roses have to die."

**To be continued in **_**Roses Fading**_

**Please review! The sequel will come up once I'm happy with my review count **

**I'll post an author note in here to let you all know when it is up. **


	51. Author Note

To my faithful readers:

This story's sequel, Roses Fading is now posted Please enjoy and review!

_In war, you never want to be the leader of the losing side. Then you have the farthest to fall. The daughter of President Snow is no exception; both while the war rages and the Games are played once more after._

This sequel has been posted earlier than originally planned (I wanted a few chapters ready to go) in honor of a very special woman in my life, my math tutor. She passed away today, April 12th 2012, after a long battle with Leukemia. She not only saved my math grade so I could continue writing, but also inspired me everyday to live life to the fullest. To all those days when I sat in her driveway writing When Roses are A Luxury when I was early, or her musical laughter when she saw more stories than math notes in my notebook. She never lost hope in me, and I wouldn't be the person I am without her.


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